Chapter 560 - 558: No.

Chapter 560: Chapter 558: No.

"So you’re telling me that the old grouchy bastard is now a monster way out of my league?" Father’s disbelieving voice cut through the silence as the old man looked like he was one small push away from breaking into tears.

We were currently within the hall-sized living room of the Absolute Mansion, Mother having been expectedly surprised that I’d brought the golden mansion with me.

The hall had gone silent as I began filling Mother and Father in on the things they had missed whilst they were decommissioned.

I didn’t go into anything I didn’t know about, merely telling things from my view.

I’d spoken about the trials, the academy I hardly attended, the foes I’d made along the way, and of course, the companions I’d gotten and the fact that most of them were still undergoing their evolutions, hence why they were unable to be here at this moment.

But of all that, the only thing Father had picked up was—

"Valen... you sly bastard!! What happened to a warrior’s honor?! What happened to not taking shortcuts, you motherfucker!!!" The old man lost his cool.

The idea that Valen had left him way behind being one the old man couldn’t resign himself to, as that would mean,

"That bastard is going to get me back for all the shit I put him through back then, isn’t he?"

"Of course. He was quite hardworking, saying something about still feeling behind you in strength so he couldn’t rest. Now, though..." I trailed off.

"Bastard..."

"Regulus..." both Mother and Aunt V drawled, snapping Father to attention as he shut his mouth.

"So.. sorry..." He scratched his head in embarrassment.

"Humph! You’re lucky he’s asleep." Mother’s threatening voice rang out as she cuddled a sleeping Lucien.

Ignoring the smitten woman, Father turned toward me. "So, let me get my facts straight."

"Go on," I nodded.

"You got with your aunt, my own sister. Got with her best friend. Got with her daughter. Got with twin dark elves. Got with that crazy banshee, Dakota. Got with a demon. Got with Clarissa. Got with her niece as well. And as if that wasn’t enough, you got with the freaking planet, the Tower of Ascension, and your own fucking weapon!?"

"I’d like to let you know that I haven’t actually gotten exactly intimate with some of those women, but it’s only a matter of time, so you’re pretty much right."

"MOTHERFUCKER!!!"

"Regulus!!"

"No! Sera, like what the fuck? Is this kid the fucking adopted child of Lady Luck or something?"

"Nah... I’m just the cherished child of chaos itself..." I couldn’t help giving Mother a tender look, "and also someone whom luck itself has touched. Besides, old man, have you seen my face?" I pointed to my face. "If it weren’t for the fact that Mother loved you, I could probably steal her as well."

"Bastard!!!" The old man gritted his teeth hard.

"You snooze, you lose, old man." I shrugged, hugging Elira tighter as she shifted devilishly on my lap, her actions precise.

"Okay. Fine. You’re handsome and women love you..."

"Exactly."

"Bitch, let me continue."

I shrugged.

"How does being handsome end with you becoming some eldritch-type being that apparently transcends this creation—whatever the hell that means?"

"Well, I can’t explain that part right now as I’m still figuring things out myself."

"Fine... so, if you’re still figuring things out, how the hell did you end up turning all your companions into freaks? Like... how are they all such monsters? What the hell?"

"I’m the main character, old man. It’d be weird instead if my companions weren’t extraordinary."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You’ll understand later."

"Hooo... breathe, Regulus. Don’t let your kid get to you..."

"You can breathe all you want, I’m still bigger and badder than you, old man."

"This little... I swear, I blame myself for having such an awesome personality; otherwise, you wouldn’t have turned out like this—a pain in my ass."

"Oho? Regulus, are you saying Dante is only magnificent because of your genes?" Mother’s soothing voice was more terrifying than the devil’s in situations like these, and Father knew exactly how to act.

"Of course not, Sera. He’s this extraordinary because he’s got a mother like you, the best mother creation ever had." Ass-kissing. Though who could blame the old man? I’d do the same if Aunt V got like that, though it’d probably end with us ruffling some sheets.

"Humph! It’s good that you know." Mother snorted, turning away.

"Haa... no seriously, son, tell me honestly..." I raised a curious brow at Father’s words as he continued, "is there really anybody among your companions that I can actually contend with?"

"Hmmm..." I put on a thoughtful expression as, "ahh.. yes, of course there’s one."

"Really!? Who!?" The old man suddenly got excited, but too bad—

"Little Lucien. I’m sure you can beat him, after all, he’s not yet started training. Although I must say," I shifted a little bit as a pear of pure solidified space tore through where I’d been sitting just now, my head raising to see Aunt V giving me the most seductive, murderous look ever, "you’ll need to get past his army of protective big sisters, mommies, and now grandma, and even after that, you’ll have to bypass the last two obstructions," I added as a sudden chill drifted through the room, dark shadows bleeding from beneath the seat Mother and Lucien were on, two pairs of spectral eyes opening from within the dark shadows,

"Kekekekekeke... if it isn’t little Regulus! Boy, it’s good to see you alive and well. And truly, thank you for making us the grandparents of this kid; he’s fun, ahahahahaha..."

"Master Momon? Is that you?" Father called out, surprised.

"Hehehe.. of course, who else could it be if not for my majestic self?"

"And Master Omari?"

"I am here, little Regulus. I’m glad to see you’re alive and well."

Father smiled, a warm expression appearing on his face.

"I’m glad you two finally got your freedom after so long."

"All thanks to our dear grandson over there, kekekeke.." came Grandpa Momon’s excited voice before—

"So, wanna try harming the little one? I’ll go easy on you, I swear. I’ll only break every bone in your body, nothing serious," he offered, as Father’s face paled.

"I... I think I’ll pass."

"Coward!"

"Fuck you, old tin can!! You just want to beat me up like before. Hell if I fall for that shit this time around."

"Be a man and take your royal ass-whooping like a champ!"

"Like hell I will. You think I like getting bullied?"

"Huh? A bully that doesn’t want to be bullied? What sort of cockamamie bullshitting is that?"

"Oi! Old tin can! Why the hell do you think I made sure to be stronger than all my peers? It’s precisely because I prefer being the bully. Who the hell wants anyone to bully him? Fuck that masochistic mindset."

Watching Father bicker with Grandpa Momon like a wronged child, I could only shake my head in dismay.

"Such shameless behavior. You like bullying others but don’t want to get bullied? Who thinks like that?"

"...." Shaia.

"...." Elira.

"...." Sana.

I ignored the silent, judgmental looks the girls were giving me as I focused on the now-closing fight between Father and Grandpa Momon.

"Haa... sly old tin can, thought I could be provoked so easily, humph!"

The old man stood up, walked toward me, and then—

"Son, give me my own power-up, right now!" he boldly declared without an ounce of shame, but—

"NO."

"Heh... I’m not about to make it that easy for you, old man."

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A/N: With a kid like Dante, who needs enemies? Am I right? Anyways...

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