Cathulhu Online, MUNYA!

Chapter 242 – Cat Dad Needs Sword Skills

Seeing the bitter fight, Xiaomao gave Lucky a hand. But instead of throwing the usual AOE spells around, he dove into the middle of the group and sliced through three Einherjars.

CRITICAL HIT!

18,102,436!

18,037,242!

18,038,102!

The large numbers surprised Lucky and the nearby Einherjars. Even Xiaomao clicked his tongue when he saw the damage output.

The Poseidon’s Karma Staff only increased Xiaomao’s magic attack by 1.5 million due to a bloodline issue, but this sword gave double the amount. Unfortunately, Xiaomao didn’t have any compatible skills for the weapon to use its full potential.

‘Three million physical attack is no joke. Normal attacks should cause about six million DMG, but critical hits triple that value. I should learn some melee attack skills after this.’

Using his small stature, Xiaomao hopped and rotated, swinging his sword like a helicopter blade. The Einherjars took several steps back to avoid this crazy catopus.

“Master!” Lucky took a step forward, wanting to help Xiaomao.

“Retreat, munya!”

Reminded of her purpose, Lucky nodded and followed the mermen to the frozen river. She activated her LEAP skill and crossed the river in one jump. As for the mermen, they escaped into the river, and their friends began casting healing spells on them.

“Ignore that cat! Lady Freya and Joan ordered us to kill as many of Xiaomao’s subordinates as we can! It doesn’t matter if you die here since we can be resurrected later!”

Someone among the Einherjars suddenly rallied the troops, and these pretty warriors stopped looking at Xiaomao. They turned to the frozen river and detoured around him, pursuing the mermen and Lucky.

“YOU.SHALL.NOT.PASSSSSSS, MUNYAAAA!!”

With one tentacle holding the glowing Poseidon’s staff and another one holding the flame sword, Xiaomao slammed the bottom of the staff on the ground and summoned 10 shaman fireballs at once.

The ten miniature suns manifested around Xiaomao, orbiting around him. Because Xiaomao stood on the ground, the horizonally orbitting fireballs hit the Einherjars and exploded.

“!!!”

That was not the end of Xiaomao’s attack. He paid extra mana and summoned 10 more, ordering them to descend upon him.

The ten orbiting fireballs detonated, and the 10 meteors crushed everything in a radius of a kilometer around Xiaomao. A portion of the frozen water melted while the water temperature rose around that area.

The hundred-man company was wiped out in one burst attack. The Valkyrie Guild’s casualties rose to 750 while MUNYA Guild’s slowly decreased. Now, John and Shepherd only need to resurrect 30 fallen mermen.

The Einherjars and mermen on land turned toward the sea of fire. While the Einherjars cheered, thinking that Xiaomao might die in that suicidal bombardment, the mermen gulped and panicked.

A few seconds later, the shadow silhouette of the cat calmly walked out of the fire with his full HP bar. The cat coughed several times as there was no oxygen in the flame sea. Even when he inhaled the fire, his lungs couldn’t even extract any oxygen from the extinguished flame but toxic air.

“*COUGH* that *COUGH* *COUGH* that was nasty, munya!”

“…”

The Einherjars’ dropped their jaws while the mermen regained their morale. The fish dudes resumed combat underwater.

“REGROUP! REGROUP!”

One of the Einherjars noticed that they already lost half of their people and their leaders. They signaled a retreat, and many fighters grudgingly jumped out of the water. Several of them spread their angel wings and flew away.

The mermen also emerged from the water. They broke the ice layer and floated on the surface to look at the retreating enemies. Some of them had ugly expressions as they received heavy injuries from the underwater fight, which was supposed to be their turf.

“Regroup, munya! This is our golden chance! We can resurrect our people and recuperate, munya!”

Hearing Xiaomao’s shout, the mermen disengaged from combat and reformed their ranks on the ground. They rested behind Shepherd, who ceaselessly healed everybody. As for John, he took his time resurrecting dead mermen.

Although the resurrection cane had no cooldown, it took a few seconds to complete each spell. Even John couldn’t accelerate the progress.

Lucky also returned to the team. The two dwarves didn’t move from the starting point, so they had no problem regrouping.

Xiaomao flew across the river and began counting heads. He started roll-calling.

“Lucky, Shepherd, John, Andrew, Peter… Where’s James, munya?”

The crew looked around and furrowed their brows. Andrew checked the guild member list and noticed that James was still alive, and his HP was full.

It didn’t take long for Xiaomao and John to locate the troublemaker. They looked at the place where James had fought Cardachion earlier.

There was an explicit scene over there. Xiaomao could see a butt-naked dude, pressing down on someone with thick thighs and long legs. As the battle died down, everybody’s sharp hearing sense caught on the sultry noise from that direction.

The crew facepalmed.

BANG

Suddenly, a lightning bolt descended and hit James and Cardachion, inflicting 11 digits in damage. They instantly died on the spot.

Everybody forgot that the tribulation lightning hadn’t ended yet as it hadn’t completed the 1,000 random hits. So far, it struck 20 times in total, and it continued searching for nearby targets as Joan was dead.

John expressionlessly raised the resurrection staff and picked James as a target. A beacon of light descended next to him, and James’ charred body manifested. However, he appeared without his pants and lower armor as he dropped them on the other side of the river.

“Bad slave, munya!”

Xiaomao grabbed a spear from the nearby merman and bonked James. Unfortunately, as Xiaomao was holding the flame sword, the damage calculation included the physical attack bonus. As a result, James’ head was crushed.

“…”

The crew blankly stared at the unfortunate dude, who was killed by their boss.

Xiaomao coughed and looked at John. The latter shook his head and resurrected James again.

Upon resurrected, James kowtowed to Xiaomao. He wrote on the ground.

‘I repent for my sins. I won’t be horny again.’

“That’s right! No horny during a guild war, munya! I don’t mind if you go around and grab a wife or two like how Shepherd did during his free time, but you mustn’t stick it in some random holes during a battle! That’s a war crime that can get our guild banned, munya! If you really want someone during combat, bonk her with a club and drag her to a secluded place or a cave like a proper caveman, munya!”

“…”

Everybody frowned and stared at Xiaomao in doubt. On the other hand, James happily nodded and gave Xiaomao a thumbs up. As for Shepherd, he pouted when Xiaomao mentioned that he screwed around and got multiple wives.

.

.

Upon death, Cardachion’s consciousness floated in a void. She couldn’t see anything but darkness.

“Oh, I died.”

Earlier, that guy pushed her down and boom-shakalaka Cardachion. It was not as painful as she had thought. In fact, it was a guilty-pleasure experience since she was a man in real-life, who always wanted to feel how a woman’s body function during the activity.

Cardachion patted her belly. She clicked her tongue.

“There goes my virginity. Oh, wait. I played with it before that guy did, so it doesn’t count. I took MY virginity first! Hahahaha!”

Despite being in a weird situation, Cardachion could still laugh. He thought that everything was just a virtual world that tricked his brain, so he didn’t mind it. He waited for the game to eject his consciousness into the real world.

But 10 minutes later, Cardachion’s consciousness was still stuck in the void.

“Err, GM? Admin? Mod? Can somebody help?”

Everything was still pitch black, but Cardachion could feel her body. She tried to move around and get up. Upon standing up, a game notification panel appeared and informed him of a piece of bad news.

DING

<ERRORS FOUND!>

<ERROR: UNMATCHED DNA!>

<ERROR: SYNCHRO FAIL!>

Upon seeing the feedback, Cardachion was not surprised. She rubbed her chin and continued reading.

<Warning: Sexual activities may corrupt your character’s data if your game character and your real life’s gender are not matched. Please avoid getting ejaculated inside your body if you play a character with a different gender.>

“Huh?”

Cardachion leaned closer to the glowing panel to read the text as his eyes couldn’t adjust to the dimmed light. He touched the screen and read everything word by word.

<Warning: The synchronization between your game avatar and your body fails.>

<Please update your data and reattempt to synchronize.>

<Would you allow us to automatically correct your data and resynchronize your game character with your real body?>

<[Yes]/[No]>

“Dafuq is synchronization? Anyway, since it’s an error, I should let the system correct this. YES! Correct it, dude!”

<Affirmative. Correcting the data and the synchronization!>

<Would you like to match the gender of both bodies?>

<[Yes]/[No]>

Cardachion scratched her head. She didn’t understand what the matching gender was for.

“Why matching the gender, game?”

<Incorrect Gender Error appears when your game character and your real body have a different gender. You can automatically fix this issue by using a character with the same gender as your real body.>

“So, what will happen if I match it?”

<You can continue playing the game.>

“Oh, cool.”

Cardachion raised her brows. She had a bad feeling about this as the game implied that she had to change her gender to match her real body, which she didn’t like.

She didn’t want to play a male character. She wouldn’t be able to take lewd screenshot photos in-game and fap to the game character in the real world if her character’s gender got changed!

p-a- n-d-a-n-0-v-e-l、 “Can I keep my character’s gender the same? I don’t want to play as a half-naked male angel.”

DING

<Affirmative. Changing your gender to female.>

The messages sounded odd, but Cardachion didn’t care. As long as she got to keep her world-destroying beauty angel as her game character, she could do anything.

Still, there was a dark thought in her mind. She asked herself.

What would happen if the game change her real body’s gender from male to female?

It couldn’t be possible, right? No game capsule should be able to perform a gender-swap operation like how Thailand’s hospitals turned many dudes into refined ladies.

DING

<The gender has been corrected.>

<The synchronization has been completed.>

<Current synchronization rating: 0.1%>

<The ERRORS have been solved.>

WHOOSH

The pitch-black area brightened, and Cardachion’s consciousness returned to the real body.

.

Manchester, UK

In a luxurious apartment, a game capsule’s hatch was opened, and a slender and smooth hand grabbed the railing. The gamer sat up and climbed out of the machine.

Cardachion grumbled and walked toward the bathroom to relieve himself. When Cardachion unzipped the pants and tried to grab for the THING to do the usual, SHE couldn’t find it.

She furrowed her brows and patted her lower belly. The 7-inch Excalibur was nowhere to be found.

At that moment, Cardachion looked down. Then, she saw something that shouldn’t have been there.

The two melons blocked her sight. Now, she couldn’t see her groin without leaning forward!

“!!!”

That day, a loud scream of a woman alarmed the neighbors. A few minutes later, several police officers knocked on the apartment’s door.