Chapter 415: Friends with benefits

KADEN’S POV

?If only she knew how many nights I had spent alone in my bedroom, struggling with the exact same thoughts.

?I had even done something so embarrassing that I could barely admit it to myself.

?A few nights earlier, I had taken a pair of Rebecca’s panties from her room and kept them in mine. I had told myself I would return them, but instead, I had found myself holding them close simply because they carried her scent.

?And more than once, I had used that scent while touching myself, imagining that she was there with me.

?I was thirty-four years old, for fuck’s sake. An Alpha who commanded packs, yet I was behaving like a desperate teenager who couldn’t control himself around a woman.

?And the most humiliating part was that I couldn’t seem to stop.

?"Kaden?" Rebecca called, bringing me back to the present.

?I blinked and looked at her. "What?"

?She studied my expression. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

?"Because I don’t know what you expect me to say."

?"I’m not asking you to say anything. I just want you to understand how I feel."

?I looked away, trying to gather my thoughts.

?Her confession should have made me happy. A part of me was relieved to know I wasn’t the only one losing my mind.

?But another part of me was beginning to feel something I didn’t want to acknowledge.

?Pain.

?Because Rebecca was talking about desire, about wanting me physically, while I was becoming increasingly afraid that what I felt for her was turning into something much more complicated.

?She gently touched my cheek.

?"Kaden, I don’t like what’s happening to me. I don’t like feeling this way, especially when I know we have other people in our lives. But I also don’t want to keep fighting something that clearly isn’t going away."

?I looked at her. "What exactly do you want from me, Rebecca?"

?She hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath.

?"I don’t want to spend the full moon locked inside that facility. I want to spend it with you."

?"Rebecca—"

?"Please, let me finish," she interrupted gently.

?I closed my mouth and waited.

?She shifted slightly on my lap, and I had to fight another surge of possessiveness from my wolf.

?"I’ve been thinking about something," she continued. "And I know you might not like it, but I want you to hear me out before you say no."

?I narrowed my eyes. "What is it?"

?She held my gaze for several seconds before finally speaking.

?"Let’s become friends with benefits."

?For a moment, I genuinely believed my ears had stopped working.

?"What?"

?"Friends with benefits, Kaden," she repeated. "No strings attached. No expectations. No promises about the future. We can enjoy each other’s company while we’re still together, and when our arrangement ends, we’ll go our separate ways and pretend none of it ever happened."

?I stared at her, struggling to believe what I was hearing.

?She continued before I could respond.

?"We don’t have to complicate things by talking about feelings or making promises neither of us can keep. We already know we’re attracted to each other, so why should we keep pretending otherwise?"

?Something painful twisted inside my chest.

?No strings attached.

?Pretend none of it ever happened.

?Was that really all she wanted from me?

?I had spent the past week questioning my sanity, wondering whether our rejected bond was somehow returning, and struggling with feelings I thought I had buried.

?And here she was, sitting on my lap, casually suggesting that we sleep together whenever we wanted and forget about each other afterward.

?I felt my anger rising.

?"Get off my lap, Rebecca," I ordered.

?She blinked in surprise. "What?"

?"You heard me."

?Her expression changed. "Kaden, I—"

?"Get. Off. My. Lap."

?She immediately stood up, staring at me in confusion.

?I rose from the chair and took a step away from her, trying to control the anger building inside me.

?"Do you have any idea what you’re asking me to do?" I demanded.

?She frowned. "Yes, Kaden. I just explained—"

?"No, Rebecca. I don’t think you understand."

?"Then explain it to me!" she snapped.

?I laughed bitterly.

?"You want us to become friends with benefits? Is that it? You want me to spend the next two months sleeping with you whenever you feel like it, and then one morning, we’re supposed to wake up, shake hands, and pretend none of it happened?"

?Her jaw tightened. "That’s not what I meant."

?"Then what the hell did you mean?"

?"I meant we could enjoy what we have without making things unnecessarily complicated!" she argued.

?"Enjoy what we have?" I repeated incredulously. "Rebecca, do you even hear yourself?"

?She folded her arms across her chest. "Why are you getting so angry? I thought you would understand."

?"Well, you thought wrong!" I snapped.

?She flinched slightly at the sharpness of my voice.

?I immediately regretted raising it, but I was too upset to apologize. For several seconds, we simply stared at each other, neither of us willing to look away.

?Then she spoke quietly.

?"Kaden, I wasn’t trying to insult you."

?I looked away. "Well, congratulations. You managed to do it anyway."

?Her eyes widened. "Insult you? How?"

?I turned back toward her, struggling to keep my voice under control.

?"Because you seem to think I’m some kind of machine you can switch on whenever you need me and switch off when you’re done!"

?"That’s not fair!" she protested.

?"Neither is what you’re asking of me!"

?She stared at me, clearly struggling to understand why I was reacting so strongly.

?And perhaps that was what hurt the most.

?She genuinely didn’t understand.

?She didn’t know how difficult it had become for me to look at her without remembering everything we had lost. She didn’t know how often I wondered whether rejecting her had been the biggest mistake of my life.

?And she certainly didn’t know how badly I wanted to believe that the seer was right—that somehow, against all odds, our mate bond was returning.

?But I couldn’t tell her any of that. Not when I barely understood it myself.

?"Kaden," she said softly, taking a step toward me.

?I immediately stepped back. "Don’t."

?She stopped, looking increasingly hurt and confused.

?"Why are you doing this?" she asked.

?I stared at her for several seconds before answering.

?"Because I refuse to become something you can simply throw away when our time together is over."

?Her lips parted, and for a moment, she looked genuinely hurt.

?Then her expression hardened.

?"Fine," she said quietly.

?I said nothing.

?"If that’s how you feel, then forget I said anything."

?"Rebecca—"

?"No, Kaden," she interrupted. "You don’t have to explain yourself anymore. I understand."

?She turned away from me and began walking toward the dining room entrance.

?I watched her go, my chest tightening with every step she took.

?My wolf growled angrily inside me.

?Stop her.

?I remained where I was, refusing to move.

?You’re hurting her, he growled again.

?And what about me? I demanded back.

?He didn’t answer.

?Rebecca reached the doorway before stopping.

?For one brief moment, I thought she was going to turn around and say something else.

?Instead, she spoke without looking back.

?"Don’t worry, Kaden. I’ll make arrangements with Logan for the full moon. You won’t have to concern yourself with me."

?Then she walked out.

?I stood there for several seconds, staring at the empty doorway.

?Fuck!

?I dragged a hand down my face before turning back toward the table. Her unfinished meal was still sitting across from mine, and even though she was gone, the scent of honey and nutmeg still lingered in the air.

?My wolf began pacing again.

?Go after her.

?"No," I muttered.

?She’s ours.

?"Shut up!" I shouted.

?My voice echoed through the empty dining room.

?I gripped the back of my chair, struggling to calm myself as the anger inside me slowly gave way to something far more painful.

?The truth was, Rebecca had just offered me everything I had spent the past week desperately craving. She wanted me just as badly as I wanted her, and she was willing to give herself to me without hesitation.

?But that was the problem.

?She only wanted my body. She wanted us to satisfy our desires and walk away when our arrangement ended, as though everything we had shared meant absolutely nothing.

?And for the first time, I was beginning to realize that simply having her in my bed would never be enough for me.

?I wanted her heart, too.