Chapter 143: Ch 143: Darn it! I am in love

Alan’s expression changed immediately.

The moment he heard the suggestion of getting external help, his eyes darkened, and his breathing became heavier. His chest rose and fell rapidly as he struggled to keep himself under control.

"No."

The single word came out much colder than expected, and Professor Riku looked at him with concern, while Daniel frowned.

"Alan, calm down. You need to think about this rationally—"

"I am calm."

"You clearly aren’t."

Daniel’s voice was firm, but Alan’s expression only became more hostile.

"I said I am fine. I don’t need you to tell me what I can and cannot do."

His esper pressure suddenly spread through the room, making the air feel heavy. Daniel’s body stiffened as he felt the threatening aura directed straight at him.

"Alan."

Daniel tried to hold his ground, but his legs almost gave out under the pressure. He gritted his teeth and forced himself to remain standing.

"You want to fight me right now?"

Alan took a step forward.

"Don’t tell me what I should do."

Daniel’s eyes narrowed, but before either of them could do anything else, Erin stepped between them.

He placed a hand on Alan’s shoulder, and his own power clashed with Alan’s, trying to calm him down.

"Calm down."

Alan froze.

Erin’s voice was quiet, but there was enough authority in it to make Alan stop. He did not want to stop, but then his eyes met Noah’s concerned ones, and he realised that he had lost control of himself.

"You are not yourself right now. Take a breath and think about what you’re doing."

Alan’s breathing remained heavy for several seconds before he finally closed his eyes.

The pressure in the room slowly disappeared.

When Alan opened his eyes again, he looked at Daniel and seemed to realise what he had almost done.

He had threatened another guide simply because he did not like the idea of Noah being kept away from him. It would have been understandable if it had been another esper, but a guide was out of the question.

That was not like him.

At least, not the Alan he knew himself to be.

"...I should go back to my room and cool my head down."

Daniel looked surprised at Alan’s thoughtful action. He had not expected the esper to be aware that he had done something wrong, much less try and correct it.

"I need to cool down before I do something stupid again."

Alan stood up with the same conflicted expression. But the look in his eyes told Noah that it would not be right for him to call out to him. At least, not right now, when Alan needed time to think about his actions.

...

’Darn it. How and why did I lose control like that? I am usually so in control of my emotions, but this time...’

The second Alan had smelled that sweet guiding, he had felt like he was losing his mind. His instincts had told him to grab that guide and to hide him. Do not let anyone else have that sweet smell of guiding.

At that moment, he did not see Noah as a human, but as a guide he needed to own. And that made him feel sick.

In the end, he did manage to grab Riku and pull the other esper out in time before anything could happen, but his own instincts disgusted him. How could he let something like this happen in the first place?

"I am not an animal. But maybe I do need some therapy classes. Should I tell my parents to arrange some for me?"

Alan had never felt this disturbed in his life before, and that night he was not able to have a nice sleep.

It resulted in him being distracted the next morning, and when he headed to the class, there were only two people—him and Daniel.

But Daniel did not stick around for much longer since he needed to take care of Noah.

He wanted to follow as well, but his guilt over what happened wouldn’t allow him to go to Noah. He had a feeling he would cause a situation.

’First, I need to calm down. This can also be a side effect from the lack of guiding. Should I look for a guide right now?’

Just the idea of someone else guiding him made Alan feel sick. It made him feel like he wanted to crawl out of his skin and tear it apart.

But he also knew that he would jump Noah if he saw him right now. So it was safer for him to take a break at the moment and look for someone else.

"I guess the innate nature of someone does not change even after falling in love. I am a scum through and through—"

Alan stopped speaking and allowed his words to register in his mind.

Love? Where did that come from? He was not in love. He just liked Noah more than other guides and found him interesting. This was not...

"Oh god! When did this happen?"

He muttered under his breath, not wanting to believe it. But the more he thought about it, the more sense it made in his mind.

Alan was in love right now.

For the first time, Alan understood why he had been acting so strangely around Noah. It was not simply curiosity or interest. He genuinely wanted Noah for himself, and the thought of anyone else getting close to him made his instincts flare up.

He let out a long sigh and rubbed his face.

"This is going to be troublesome."

If Noah found out, Alan had no idea how he would react. He could only hope that, when the time came, Noah would not hate him for it.

He had a feeling Noah won’t but whether he would be able to keep himself in check any longer was still up to the toss.

"I hope Noah is not too disappointed in me...darn it! How did I not realize my own feelings sooner?