Chapter 438: Sedated Courtroom

Chapter 435: Sedated Courtroom

"You are severely underestimating the caloric toll of a legal drama, Court," Alex reasoned, his deep baritone vibrating smoothly through the room without a single muscle moving. "Lawyers are forced to stand for hours, pacing back and forth in front of a jury box. Pacing is essentially commuting without a destination. It is a tragic waste of kinetic energy."

Courteney let out a husky laugh, shaking her head. "But the suspense, Alex! The sudden shouting of ’Objection!’ and pointing aggressively at the witness stand. It’s peak television."

"Pointing isolates the phalanges and creates unnecessary tension in the wrist," Alex countered effortlessly, his eyes remaining peacefully shut. "And shouting in an enclosed courtroom is an auditory assault. It destroys the acoustic purity of the environment."

Jennifer grinned wickedly, tapping the glass screen of the Vanguard tactical tablet. "Let’s test that theory, Mr. CEO. I’m feeding the algorithm a prompt for a tense, high-stakes murder trial. Let’s see how the supercomputer handles the justice system."

She tapped the execution key.

The massive screen at the edge of the patio flickered to life, displaying a hyper-realistic, digitally rendered courtroom. However, instead of a brightly lit, tense environment, the room was dimmed to a soothing twilight. The jury members were not sitting in rigid wooden chairs; they were sprawled out across plush, oversized beanbags, most of them wearing sleep masks.

The camera panned to the digital defense attorney. Instead of slamming his hands on the desk in righteous fury, the avatar was lying completely flat on the floor, using his briefcase as a pillow.

"Your Honor," the digital lawyer whispered, his voice modulated into a deeply soothing, low-frequency cadence. "Cross-examining this witness requires me to form a cohesive line of questioning. That demands rapid memory recall, which burns an unacceptable amount of glucose. I move to dismiss the trial entirely."

The camera cut to the digital judge. He did not bang his wooden gavel. In fact, the gavel was resting completely untouched at the edge of his desk.

"Banging a wooden hammer causes micro-fractures in the wrist," the digital judge murmured, his eyes heavily lidded. "Furthermore, the witness is breathing too loudly, and it is disrupting my digestion. Motion to dismiss is granted. Everyone please stop talking."

The screen faded to a soft, tranquil black, accompanied by a single, relaxing piano chord. The entire trial had concluded in forty-five seconds.

The room descended into absolute, breathless hysteria. Mariah threw her head back, her laughter echoing freely, while Angelina buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

"He dismissed a murder trial because the witness was breathing too loud!" Angelina wheezed, wiping a tear from her eye. "Alex, you just made the entire justice system take a nap!"

"Justice is blind, Angie. It should also be completely horizontal," Alex stated flawlessly. "By mathematically removing the friction of a debate, the AI arrived at the most efficient resolution. A sleeping jury cannot make a wrong conviction. We have cured the legal system."

"You just bankrupted every law firm in America," Gillian giggled, leaning closer. "Why hire a lawyer when you can just refuse to participate in the trial?"

"Participation is a trap designed to extract effort," Alex nodded slowly. "Never fall for it."

Before they could further dissect the complete ideological pacification of the legal genre, the heavy doors slid open.

Snoop Dogg and Keanu Reeves drifted into the room. They didn’t walk, nor were they hovering on any specifically designed equipment. They simply glided across the floor using the newly installed frictionless transit track, their postures entirely relaxed. Keanu was casually spinning a basketball on the tip of his finger, though his finger wasn’t actually moving—the ball was rotating via a localized magnetic field.

"Alex, we just conquered the hardwood," Keanu announced, looking deeply enlightened as he drifted to a stop. "Traditional basketball is an orthopedic disaster. Sprinting, jumping, and aggressive physical defense. The constant, repetitive shockwaves of rubber hitting the floor. It’s a cardiovascular nightmare."

"A barbaric display of unnecessary verticality," Alex agreed seamlessly, keeping his eyes shut. "How did you correct this biological tragedy?"

"We removed the bouncing," Snoop grinned lazily. "And the running. The Vanguard boys magnetized the court. You just stand at the three-point line, maintain eye contact with the rim, and give a slight nod. The localized magnetic fields carry the ball directly through the net. Nothin’ but net, nephew. Every single time. We just played a full game of H-O-R-S-E without raising our arms."

"Missing a shot introduces the concept of failure," Alex analyzed flawlessly. "Failure induces a microscopic spike in cortisol. By mathematically guaranteeing a perfect score without engaging the triceps, you have eliminated the psychological burden of competition. Well done."

"It’s pure telekinetic dominance," Keanu whispered reverently.

Suddenly, a minor crisis occurred. Monica, laughing at Keanu’s profound tone, accidentally bumped a small bowl of green grapes. A single grape tumbled over the edge, rolling exactly four inches away from Alex’s resting hand before coming to a complete stop.

The room fell silent. Everyone stared at the rogue fruit.

"It rolled away," Monica noted, her lips twitching with amusement. "Alex, it is exactly four inches from your fingers."

"Four inches implies a requirement for lateral arm extension," Alex argued smoothly, his tone icy and uncompromising. "Extending the limb creates unnecessary tension in the shoulder joints and forces the bicep to fight the natural downward pull of the Earth."

"Are you just going to let it sit there?" Gillian laughed, a wicked challenge in her eyes. "Just grab it. It takes half a second."

"If I reach for it, I validate its decision to escape," Alex stated, entirely serious, refusing to even open his eyes to look at the grape. "I will not reward insubordination from a snack. Reaching implies desperation."

"So what is your master plan?" Angelina teased, resting her chin on her hand.

"I am mathematically optimizing my biological reserves," Alex corrected perfectly. "I will simply wait. Eventually, the tectonic shifts of the Earth, or a localized draft from the climate control system, will deliver the grape directly back into my palm. I refuse to chase my food. If the grape wishes to fulfill its destiny, it must do the commuting."

Snoop chuckled, shaking his head in sheer, reverent awe. "The man is out-stubborning gravity."

"Gravity is a working-class constraint," Alex murmured, his breathing a slow, hypnotic metronome. "And I am officially returning to the void."

The world outside continued its frantic, exhausting struggle for relevance, but inside the room, the absolute eradication of effort remained perfectly, flawlessly intact.