Chapter 83: The Love I Was Never Allowed to Have

Chapter 83: Chapter 83: The Love I Was Never Allowed to Have

~Reynold’s POV~

I slowly pulled away from Alden, my heart pounding as I turned around.

Frederick stood a few feet away, his expression cold and unreadable as he stared directly at us.

My breath caught in my throat. The relief Alden’s words had given me vanished in an instant, replaced by a wave of fear as I realized who was standing in front of us.

Frederick didn’t raise his voice or storm toward us. He simply stood there in the shadows, his expression blank and his eyes fixed on me. Somehow, his silence was more frightening than anger.

Alden was the first to break the silence. He lowered his hand from my back and gave Frederick a polite nod.

"Mr. Corvin."

Frederick barely acknowledged him. His eyes remained fixed on me. "What are you doing outside at this hour?"

I swallowed hard, suddenly unable to find my voice. "I... I couldn’t sleep."

His gaze shifted briefly toward Alden before returning to me. "And he came here to help you sleep?"

The coldness in his voice made my stomach tighten. "No," I quickly replied. "Alden was just checking on me."

Frederick’s expression remained unreadable. "At midnight?"

I lowered my gaze. "He was passing by and decided to check on me."

Alden stepped in calmly. "I was already in the area, Mr. Corvin. Reynold seemed upset, so I stopped to make sure he was okay."

Frederick finally looked at him. "I see."

The silence that followed was suffocating.

Alden shifted slightly, clearly uncomfortable under Frederick’s stare. He gave me a brief glance before looking back at him.

"Mr. Corvin, I was just—"

"Save it," Frederick interrupted, his voice low and flat. He didn’t raise it, but the warning in his tone was unmistakable. "Step away from him."

My heart lurched.

I immediately stepped away from Alden, my hands trembling. "Frederick, I—I can explain. It’s not what you think. He just came to check on me because—"

"You were sleeping right beside me," Frederick cut in, his dark eyes narrowing. "Yet you got up in the middle of the night, left my side, and sneaked outside to meet another man at the gate."

"No, please, listen to me!" I pleaded, tears quickly filling my eyes as I took a step toward him.

Alden spoke again, his voice calm. "Sir, please. It’s a misunderstanding. Reynold was upset and needed someone to talk to. I didn’t mean any disrespect."

Frederick’s head turned toward him. "Did I ask for your explanation?"

Alden fell silent.

Frederick turned his attention back to me. His expression was still cold, but the disappointment in his eyes hurt even more than his anger.

"Inside," he ordered, gesturing toward the house. "Now."

I didn’t dare argue.

I looked at Alden one last time. His expression was concerned, but there was nothing he could do.

With my head lowered and tears slipping down my cheeks, I turned and walked past Frederick toward the house.

The heavy iron gate slowly closed behind us with a muffled click. Frederick followed closely behind me as we walked up the pathway toward the house, my heart pounding so hard against my ribs that I thought it might crack.

I pushed the front door open and stepped into the dimly lit foyer, then stood there frozen as I waited for Frederick. A moment later, he stepped inside, closed the heavy front door behind him, and turned his dark gaze toward me.

Before he could say anything, panic surged through me, and I rushed forward, desperate to explain.

"I’m sorry," I blurted out, my voice trembling. "I’m—"

Frederick completely ignored my apology. "You were hugging another man," he said coldly. "With the same chest you give to me when you’re in my arms."

"I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking—"

"Reynold, what the hell is actually wrong with you?" Frederick snapped, stepping closer, his face hardening with anger and disbelief. "What is going on in your head? I literally warned you tonight about staying away from strangers, and the moment I turn my back and close my eyes, you sneak downstairs to meet him?"

"I’m sorry. Please forgive me—"

"Are you really so desperate for attention, so horny to get off, that you don’t even care about getting fucked right out there at the front gate of my house?"

My breath caught. Shock and hurt washed over me so violently that I felt dizzy.

"No! No, I’m not that kind of person—!"

"I don’t even know what kind of person you are anymore," Frederick said, his words cutting deep. "I just know you never, ever listen. And I guarantee you, if I had come out just a few minutes later, he would have taken you right into his car and gotten you off right there."

"That’s not true!" I cried, tears pricking my eyes.

"Quiet." Frederick pointed a finger at me. "You’re starving for attention, and he came running to give it to you. Now tell me, what were you even upset about in the first place? For days, you’ve been the one acting out, lying, and breaking rules. So tell me why you were crying."

I tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come. My throat tightened as I struggled to find the right way to explain myself.

Frederick’s expression hardened. "Ever since I took your virginity and opened you up to this world, you’ve suddenly become desperate to try someone else?"

I stared up at him, the weight of his accusation crushing whatever was left of my heart.

"So... that’s what you really think of me?" I whispered. "You think I’m so cheap that I would just sleep with someone else?"

"Yes! What else?" Frederick fired back, his voice thick with frustration. "Let’s be honest, that’s what you were already doing out there. So tell me, why were you hugging someone else? Someone who isn’t me?"

His words felt like physical slaps.

I stared at him, hot tears spilling over my lashes and streaming down my cheeks.

"So that’s what you’ve been thinking of me this whole time?" I whispered, my voice trembling. "You think all I want is to be laid by another man?"

I wiped my face with the back of my hand, a cold numbness settling over me. "I’m sorry," I whispered.

I turned around, desperate to get away from him.

Before I could take a single step, Frederick’s hand shot out and caught my wrist in an unyielding grip. He spun me back around to face him.

"Don’t you dare walk away from me. I asked you a question! Why are you hugging another man? Answer me!" he shouted.

That was the breaking point. Every bit of fear inside me evaporated, replaced by a roaring, agonizing mix of rage and sorrow. I ripped my wrist free and screamed right into his face.

"I’m not your prisoner!" I sobbed, my voice cracking with pain. "If you judge me this much, if you think I’m that vile just because I hugged someone else, then I’m done! I’m done respecting you, and I’m done trying to love you!"

Frederick froze, completely stunned. "What...?"

"Yes! Do you think just because I allowed you to sleep with me on the very first day we met, I would do the same with every man? Do you really think that’s the kind of person I am?" I choked out, tears pouring down my face as I pointed at my chest.

"I let you sleep with me that first day because I didn’t want to owe you anything. You had helped me, and I wanted to repay you. That was the first reason I said yes. But there was another reason too..." My voice trembled as I struggled to put my feelings into words. "The moment I opened my eyes on that jet and saw you, I felt something I couldn’t explain. I didn’t understand it, and honestly, it confused me."

I swallowed hard, tears continuing to fall. "But there was something about you that drew me in. You attracted me in a way I had never experienced before. That’s why, when you wanted me, I didn’t fight it. I wanted you too. I wanted your touch, even though I didn’t understand why. So don’t stand there and judge me as if I would do that with just anyone."

Frederick stood motionless, his jaw slightly slack as he watched the floodgates open.

"From the moment you entered my life, all I’ve done is love you. I’ve loved you over and over again, trying to find a way to show you how I feel and make you understand. I agreed to the contract because of what I felt for you, even though I didn’t understand those feelings back then. But I knew I loved you."

"All I’ve ever done is love you, but all you have ever done is try to control me—with sex, with money, with rules!" I yelled, my voice breaking into jagged sobs. "Everyone wants to control me! Why are you all doing this to me? Is it because you look at me and see how helpless I am? Why? Why? Every single day, it’s rules, rules, rules—don’t do this, don’t do that!"

I reached out and jabbed a trembling finger against the solid muscle of his chest, refusing to back down.

"For nineteen years of my life, I have never, never had anyone look at me and tell me they love me for real," I cried, my whole body shaking. "Every bit of love I ever received, every ounce of care, always came with strings attached. Conditions and rules I had to follow to earn it."

"And you, Frederick Corvin? You were no different! It’s choking me! You gave me a rule not to love you, and I tried—God, I tried so hard not to love you, Frederick. But how do you unlove someone you’re already drowning in? How? How do you do that?!" I screamed, my voice echoing off the vast foyer.

Frederick looked at me for a moment before finally speaking. "Reynold, I never asked you to unlove me. And trust me, I’m not trying to control you. But if I want to keep you safe, I have to be controlling sometimes because I don’t know who might want to harm you."

"I don’t believe you! You never liked me!"