Chapter 224: I have my own life, Amanda

Torin’s POV

I sat on the edge of the mattress, my back turned toward the woman still resting beneath the tangled sheets.

She was fast asleep, or perhaps just pretending to avoid the awkward silence between us.

Her bare shoulder peeked out from the thin fabric, her long dark hair spread across the pillow like spilled ink.

I did not know her name. I did not care to ask for it either.

That was the entire point of coming to a dim place like this.

I ran my fingers through my brown hair, pushing the messy strands back from my forehead.

The movement was slow and heavy, full of a deep exhaustion that sleep could no longer fix.

My reflection in the cracked mirror across the room looked like a stranger.

I stared at the hollow eyes and the stubbled jaw, barely recognizing the face of a man who had spent weeks running from his own grief.

I stood up from the mattress, my bare feet pressing against the cold wooden floorboards.

Reaching for my shirt on the back of the chair, I pulled it over my head, the rough fabric scraping against my skin.

I did not look back at the bed. I simply buckled my belt, grabbed my heavy leather coat, dropped the coins on the table, and walked straight out of the room without uttering a single word.

The heavy door clicked shut behind me.

I stepped into the narrow, dimly lit hallway of the tavern, where the stale smell of cheap ale and old smoke hung thick in the air.

I moved quietly past the creaking floorboards, passing closed doors that hid other strangers, and pushed open the tavern’s front exit.

The cool night air hit my face like a slap, shocking my senses.

Standing on the wooden porch, I tilted my head back to gaze at the vast, dark sky.

Countless stars were scattered across the black canvas, cold, distant, and completely indifferent to the pain unfolding below them.

Everything in my life had completely changed.

Azura was gone. The girl who used to burn brighter than anyone I had ever met had been extinguished like a small candle in a terrible storm.

I had watched Rhydor carry her cold body out of that cursed valley, seeing the very light die in his eyes alongside hers.

Now, Rhydor refused to speak to anyone. He walked through the halls of the pack house like a living ghost, his face carved from cold stone.

He did not look at me, nor did he look at his friends. He had locked himself inside that stone tomb for two solid weeks, and even though he had finally stepped back outside, he was still buried deep within his own head.

Liona was gone as well.

The second the news of Azura’s death reached her, something deep inside Liona had shattered. I had seen it happen in real time, watching the joy drain right out of her face.

She had begged her mate to take her far away from the pack, away from the heavy memories and the quiet rooms where Azura used to laugh.

The Dragon King had granted her wish without any argument. He had whisked her off to his clan across the distant mountains, where the stone walls were cold, and the air carried ancient magic.

I did not know if she had fully mated with him yet, and I did not want to find out.

All I knew was that she was gone, living among dragons now in a world that had once seemed completely foreign to her.

I was left behind, standing alone in the middle of everything we had built together.

I let out a long breath, my eyes drifting toward the dark horizon.

The only thing I had left to hold onto was the person Azura had fought so hard to save.

Amanda.

She was the apple girl from the marketplace. The beautiful stranger I had bumped into that afternoon, the one whose bright face had lingered in my mind for weeks afterward.

I had assumed she was just a passing memory, a sweet moment of pure fate. But she was so much more than a face in a crowd.

She was Amanda, the girl Azura had crossed into darkness to rescue. She was the girl who had been twisted and broken by dark magic, who now looked at the world through the innocent eyes of a young child.

I had forced myself to detach from those initial feelings. I buried them so deep down that they couldn’t surface again.

It was easy to pretend because she was no longer the woman I had fallen for at first sight. She was a child trapped inside a grown body, her mind shattered by horror.

Her daily behavior made it easier to maintain the lie. The more she acted like a little girl, the more I could convince myself that she was merely a child needing my protection.

I stood on the porch for a long time, letting the freezing wind bite at my face.

Behind me, the tavern grew quiet as the remaining sounds of drinking slowly faded into the night.

Then, I felt a familiar shift in the air.

Someone was standing nearby, hidden in the dark shadows beside the porch.

I did not need to turn around to identify the intruder. I could sense her presence without looking, her bright energy pressing gently against the edge of my mind.

Frustration surged through my chest. I had explicitly told her not to come down here.

I had ordered her to stay at the pack house where it was safe, yet she never listened to me.

"Come out now," I said, my voice flat and icy.

There was no response, only a heavy, stubborn silence.

"Amanda," I said, hardening my tone.

A moment later, she slowly stepped out from the shadows of the building.

She wore a simple dress with a dirty, wrinkled hem. Her face was twisted into a deep frown, her lips pushed out in a classic childish pout.

She stared directly at her dirt-covered boots, refusing to meet my eyes as her fingers fidgeted nervously in front of her.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, crossing my arms firmly over my chest.

"I told you not to come to this place. Why don’t you ever listen to what I say?"

Amanda kept her gaze fixed on the wooden planks beneath her feet. She scuffed the toe of her shoe against the porch, her voice sounding tiny and petulant.

"Why don’t you want me to come here? Are you meeting other female friends?"

I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, letting out a heavy breath that formed a white cloud in the chilly air.

I felt annoyed and angry, but above all, I felt completely drained.

"This place is not for kids, Amanda," I said, dropping my voice into a stern, parental tone.

"This place can be dangerous. You need to stay at the pack house where I left you."

"But you are here," she said, finally lifting her face to look at me.

Her wide eyes were filled with an earnest innocence that made my heart ache.

"If you are here, nobody can hurt me. You will protect me, won’t you?"

I looked down at her, my jaw tightening as the heavy weight of her expectation pressed against my chest.

"I won’t be around forever to protect you, Amanda," I said, keeping my tone as steady as possible.

"You know that. There are times I have to leave, times when you need to live your own life. I have my own life to handle."

Her expression crumpled instantly. She turned her face away, her voice trembling softly.

"That means you will leave me too."

A sharp pang of guilt stabbed at my gut, but I pushed it down, forcing myself to remain firm.

"You need to go back to the pack house," I repeated calmly. "Okay?"

She remained quiet for a long moment, watching her feet.

Then she looked up, her voice barely audible.

"What if I am grown up? If I am grown up, would you still leave me behind?"

I froze in place.

The question hung heavily between us in the cold night. I looked at her, really taking in her appearance, and found myself completely lost for words.

Her face was tilted up toward mine, raw and completely vulnerable. For a single second, I forgot about her mind.

I saw the woman she could have been, the person she might become if the magic ever cleared.

I silently asked myself the same thing. If she were truly an adult, would I still push her away like this?

I shook the thought out of my head, forcing my mind back to reality.

"I am a good friend of Azura," I said, softening my tone slightly.

"And while Azura is still resting, I promised to look after you. But I also have duties I must attend to."

"I can only leave you alone when I know you are truly safe."

Amanda shuffled her feet against the dirt path, her voice shaky.

"Then I am not safe. People say mean things to me all the time. They say that I am strange, that I act weird, that..."

"Amanda," I interrupted, keeping my voice sharp.

"This is not the first time people have said those things. You never used to care about their words. Why do you suddenly care now?"

I could see the truth flickering in her eyes. She was searching for excuses, desperately hunting for a reason to stay close to me that I couldn’t easily argue against.

"Amanda, you need to start living your own life and stop following me around."

"But I want to follow you," she insisted, her voice rising with desperate energy.

"Stop following me for crying out loud, Amanda!" I snapped, the sudden shout tearing out of my throat before I could stop it.

The harsh sound echoed off the quiet tavern walls. I hadn’t meant to lose my temper, but the constant contradiction was wearing me down.

Mentally, she was a child, yet physically she was a fully grown woman. The sight of her soft jawline and clear skin often made me forget her condition, and whenever she stopped acting like a child, I instinctively treated her like a mature lady.

That confusion was driving me insane.

Amanda flinched hard, her eyes widening in total shock as her lower lip began to tremble.

"You yelled at me," she whispered, her voice cracking with pure hurt.

"You yelled at me."

I closed my eyes, taking a slow breath to center myself as the brief surge of anger vanished, leaving behind total exhaustion.

"I am sorry," I murmured softly.

"I did not mean to raise my voice."

She refused to accept the apology. Her face twisted into an expression of childish anger.

"I hate you!" she screamed.

Turning on her heel, she sprinted down the dirt path, her fast footsteps echoing until the night swallowed her completely.

I stood motionless on the wooden porch, watching the empty road with my hands hanging limply at my sides.

I could not keep doing this.

I had sworn to protect her for Azura’s sake, but the burden of that vow was slowly crushing me.

Staying here would only lead to more pain, dragging us both into a deeper dark.

I needed to leave. Returning to the Hollowcrown, back to my own pack and my own people, was the only logical choice left.

It was the only way to keep us both safe from further hurt.

I took one last look at the cold stars above, accepting the heavy choice I had just made.

I was going back to my pack, and I did not know if I would ever turn back.