Becoming a Monster

Chapter 508: Chapter 507: What He Needed to Become

Noah had never come across a demon before.

The core he had taken earlier, the one he had prevented Ethaniel from consuming, still remained within his ring.

Before he made any further move with it, he intended to consult Bolas. With the dragon’s long-lived experience, there were very few things that could fall completely outside his knowledge, and if there was anyone who could shed light on what that core truly was, it would be him.

However, even with that in mind, Noah’s attention did not linger there for long.

Because the core in his hand mattered more.

His grip remained firm out of caution because he had already seen what a soul was capable of, even without a vessel. The lich had proven that much, and although this situation was different, it was not something he was willing to take lightly.

Especially not when he could sense it. The soul inside the core had awareness. Just how much? He couldn’t be sure.

What he could be sure of was that even when it no longer had a body, it was just as restless.

And just as naive.

It didn’t try to resist him at all, nor did it try to break free. If one didn’t know any better, they would assume that the soul was incapable of interfering with anything outside of it.

But Noah’s Nexus eye could see it clearly.

The core’s actions were so subtle that even Noah wouldn’t have been able to pick it up without his unique Eye.

The core was trying to assimilate with his mana.

The purpose was unclear, but there was only one conclusion that made sense.

If the core needed a vessel to essentially rebirth itself... then the soul was most likely seeking another one.

—

"Having trouble?"

Noah glanced to his side to see Ailetta approach with a core in her hand. Further behind her, the fused human re-entered the pile of the other dead bodies.

She wanted to discuss the potential of Noah’s blood immediately, but she brushed her impatience aside, seeing him stare so intently at the core in his hands.

"Do you think we’re strong enough?"

The question was vague, but his demeanor showed that it was a question that needed to be taken serious in its entirety.

Ailetta could have gained understanding of his question if she used their connection, but doing it too much felt as if it would slowly defeat the purpose of communicating.

Talking to Noah to understand him meant more to her than relying on something that would give her the answer without effort.

Instead, she studied him. She thought about all that had just happened and about Noah’s purpose for doing all that he had done.

And most importantly, she looked at the core that he had yet to take his eyes off of.

Was it the entity the cleric had summoned that had stirred the question? The fact that, once again, when a strong enemy appears, it is always Noah who has to face it?

’Is he worried that the rest of us aren’t strong enough to face the retaliation of the powers behind the ones that they had killed?’

Ailetta felt torn. One part of her knew that Noah wouldn’t think of them that way, and another truly believed that they were still holding him back.

They won this battle completely. But that was also because Noah had enhanced their capabilities during the fight. And it was also because, just like her earlier thoughts, Noah had faced the archon, lessening the danger to everyone else.

Could Fenrir or Arachne have faced that thing alone and won without heavy injuries? Could she?

Part of her wished that she didn’t go along with Noah’s intentions, using her trump card to compare her own strength.

But then she realized that her own thinking was wrong. Her thoughts were centered on this one battle.

She had momentarily forgotten about what was going to come next. The very reason Noah had her hold back in the first place.

—

Ailetta’s expression didn’t change, but her focus sharpened slightly as she stepped closer.

"If you’re asking if I believe we are strong, then without a doubt I would say that we are."

Her answer quickly got Noah’s attention. He no longer looked at the core but stared directly into her eyes, waiting for her to continue as if he was scrutinizing every word that came next.

"Compared to where we started, to the dangers we faced, and the trials we overcame... then yes, I believe we are strong."

She didn’t look away.

"But I don’t think that’s what you’re really asking. If you’re asking whether we are strong enough for their retaliation. A war of a nation against our home of monsters..."

Her eyes wavered, acknowledging what came next. Around her, she noticed that everyone else was closely listening in on their conversation. But she knew that Noah wanted everyone to hear it.

"Then no... we aren’t strong enough. But that’s also why we are doing this, right?" Her eyes motioned to the tigerkin, whose expression was hard to describe.

It wasn’t just her who struggled with the truth. Arachne and the others quickly arrived at the same conclusion that she had earlier.

They were blaming their own weakness.

Noah, however, didn’t blame them. Ailetta was right.

Compared to them in the past, they were undeniably strong. What Ailetta failed to notice was that the question wasn’t meant to make them understand the situation.

It was all for Noah, who was struggling to make a hard decision.

But Ailetta helped to confirm it.

"That’s right... But even though I chose to do it this way, the possibility of losing any one of you makes me afraid... I want to be stronger..."

He looked back towards Ailetta.

"Do you still remember back then, when you asked me what you needed to do to become stronger?"

Ailetta’s eyes glistened for a beat. Her memories from her human past were normally overlooked. But she hadn’t forgotten any of the memories that had to do with Noah.

"How could I? It’s the reason I am what I am now. I became exactly what you told me. But... what does that have to do with now?"

Noah looked back at the core, then his gaze lifted, staring with a lost stare towards the sky.

"Because I understand now that being a monster still isn’t enough." He met Ailetta’s eyes again. There was a determination in that gaze that caused Ailetta to worry.

Nothing ever good came to be whenever he was like this. Last time was when he birthed an egg inside his soul, given to him by the very thing that wanted to take over his soul. She was afraid to consider what he would do this time.

"That thing back then at the shops, the thing inside of me, and the being that made you into what you are. All of those things are existences that are above our understanding."

"If we’re monsters... then what are they?"

He turned to stare deeply into the core in his hand.

"That’s what I need to reach."

Under their questionable stares, Noah absorbed the demented soul from the core through his Eye.

He paused for a moment, frowning inwardly when he thought about the other soul inside. There was barely the thought of what would happen if he fused the two together when he felt a sudden repulsion.

It was as if the Eye itself was preventing Noah from even attempting to do it.

Despite the pushback, Noah wasn’t deterred from what he was planning to do. It was all just an instinctive thought. Just knowing whether it was possible or not was enough.

He proceeded to plunge his hand into the eye, retrieving the soul as he held it in his grip.

The soul stared at Noah in unnaturally silent silence.

"...What are you?"

This was the first time Noah had experienced a soul without a physical body or a core speaking with such clarity. But after all that he experienced, he wasn’t surprised.

What did surprise him was the fact that the soul held no urge to fight back. It was as if experiencing the powers of his Nexus Eye alone had taken all of the fight out of him.

Seeing this, and resolving himself for what he was about to do, Noah indulged the soul.

"I find myself asking that question every day."

Noah didn’t look away as he held the soul in his grip.

He could’ve fed the soul to his Nexus Eye, potentially advancing all of his skills related to it, or he could use the soul to consume it himself to further strengthen his soul just as before.

The option to use it to fuse with one of his creatures was never considered once he was aware that its soul was still cognizant of itself even after "dying".

There were too many unknowns surrounding the creature’s identity that were too closely related to that monstrous existence back on earth.

He wouldn’t risk a sentient soul such as this one to fuse with one of his companions.

So instead, he merged the soul into himself. He didn’t know what to expect, but his thoughts were clear. He would do everything in his power to protect what was his.