Because I Cannot Hurt You

Chapter 492 Love makes us more human, not a monster

　　Liao Yuan covered his face and suddenly burst into laughter. “Damn you, Keung. I thought you were stupid just like your parents. It would be easy to manipulate you after seeing how foolishly embezzled money. But you ditched me at the last moment.”

Keung dangerously gritted his teeth. “Did I ditch you or did you? Oh, wait. You had always planned to throw me under the bus from the beginning!”

Xinyi smiled. “So, you finally confess that you planned everything.”

He chuckled as he walked towards her. “What option had you left me with, Xinyi!?” His voice turned darker and deeper.

”I have said this before and I will say this again. What has Zhiyuan given you!? Nothing! He did nothing but wallow in depression of losing his love. Your seven years of life, marriage and love were wasted on him! And then one day he realizes that he loves you? That’s the most terrible joke I have ever heard of! Who gave him the right to love you after he forced you to decide to abort your own child!”

Xinyi said nothing.

Liao Yuan laughed, but a pang of sadness filled his eyes. “I lost you just because…just because Zhiyuan came into your life before me. You wouldn’t have suffered so much had we been in love! But at every walk of the life, you only chose Zhiyuan who didn’t deserve your and you know what? Even if he feels guilty of his mistakes, it doesn’t change anything. He never deserved you, and he still doesn’t!”

He let out a furious laugh. His balled fists had an urge to punch someone. “You stubbornly stayed in a marriage where it only came this far because you didn’t leave Zhiyuan behind. You should have abandoned him ages ago considered how he shitty he treated you! You love such a guy who couldn’t have held onto this relationship without you. After seven years, he understood your importance and place in his life…I feel like laughing.

So what if I planned everything? If you could give Zhiyuan a second chance when he ‘suddenly’ realized he was in love with you, then why couldn’t I get that chance who always held you dear to my heart!? Where did I go wrong?”

Xinyi exhaled a silent breath and faced him. “You say that I wasted seven years of my life on someone who didn’t love me back. Then what did you do for all these years, Yuan? You have been holding onto your feelings for me for five years even though you know that I am married. You should have given up on me knowing that I was someone’s wife. But could you give up on your feelings?”

His brow twitched in annoyance.

”Caihong never loved Xiaosi either. In fact, she hated him from all her heart. Yet their marriage didn’t fall apart because Xiaosi refused to give up on her. He loved her despite the hatred he got in return every single day. Then will you say that he was an idiot for loving her all this time?

My own brother was just like me. He devoted seven years in an unrequited love. Yet he couldn’t leave her side. Yuan, if it was so easy to give up on love, then wouldn’t life had been so easier to live? You didn’t act anything different than me, Xiaosi or Yunru. In fact…” her black pupils were covered with a layer of frost, “You acted the worst, Yuan.”

He narrowed his eyes. 

”At first, I genuinely felt sad to reject you. I understand how it is to have an unrequited love. Nobody can understand that better than me. But you lost all my empathy once you targeted my family! You say that Zhiyuan doesn’t deserve me? He made some serious mistakes, so I should have left him? Then what did you do, Liao Yuan!?”

Her chest heaved up and down. Green veins appeared on her forehead expressing how angry she was.

”You attempted to kill my husband! Three times! And in one of those attempts, you endangered my son too! What you did crossed all the lines! And you say that you deserved to be in my life instead of Zhiyuan? You went so crazy that you didn’t care who I hold dear to me. If you love someone, the first thing you absolutely cannot bear is to see the one you love hurt and in suffering. But you did just that! If you cared about me even a little bit, you wouldn’t have tried to kill my husband and son who are the most precious ones in my life!” 

Tears slid down her cheeks.

”Do you have any idea…what I went through when I came to know that Siying was in an accident?” She trembled and her voice choked. “If Zhiyuan hadn’t protected him with his body, I could have lost my son! And you say you deserve my love!” She roared. “No, Liao Yuan! You don’t deserve me! You don’t deserve anybody! If you could go this far just to have me in your life without considering my feelings and choice, then you don’t deserve to have love! Love makes us more human, not a monster!”

Liao Yuan gnashed his jaw. Every word hit him right in his heart. He had an urge to run away because somewhere he knew she was speaking the truth.

She then said, “And what if I gave Zhiyuan another chance? Why did you feel that you are entitled to get one too? Zhiyuan is my husband. If there was hope that we could have a new beginning in our marriage, then why shouldn’t I have given him that chance? It had nothing to do with you.”

”Enough!” He exclaimed. An excruciating pain burst in his chest.

It had nothing to do with you…

He really thought that there was some hope with Xinyi. But the last line splashed cold water that hurt even more than her rejection.

He grabbed her arm and pressed it harder. “Xinyi, I have crossed way many lines to have you in my life.”

Keung widened his eyes. “You bastard! Leave her! Can you not see you are hurting her?”

He tearfully laughter. “What hurts more is this painful feeling in my chest that I want to get rid of. Come with me, Xinyi. I will love you the most, I will accept your child too! Just come with me.”