Because I Cannot Hurt You

The butterfly earrings, the cherry blossom pendant and now the ring with doves and infinity…

The more Xinyi thought about it, the more it became clear to her. They were not just diamond gifts for her. Every gift held a special meaning.

As she understood Zhiyuan's message, her eyes were filled with tears, clutching the ring in her palm.

Zhiyuan took the ring and faced her. He bent on his knee and raised his head, his heart pounding in his chest. He knew what he wanted to say as he would put the earrings and pendant on her. But when it came to the ring, he would have no words to express himself. He had so much to say, yet he couldn't put it into words.

"Xinyi. This is for stepping into my life. This is for everything... every single thing you have selflessly done for me. This is for not leaving my side when things got sour for you. This is for not giving up on Siying. This is for... always loving me so much without expecting anything in return."

He smiled through the quiet mistiness in his eyes. "I brought you here because this is where everything started for us. But…" his gaze dimmed in sorrow, "This is also the place where you have suffered immense pain."

Xinyi bit her lip, thinking of all those times she saw Zhiyuan and Caihong together. As their friend, she wished for their happiness.

But as someone who loved Zhiyuan, her heart ached miserably. 

He gave a light squeeze to her hand. "I really want to go back in time and mend the past. Then you wouldn't hide your tears and quietly cry in a corner. I cannot change the past. But I want to change our present and our future. That's why this place won't be a source of grief for you anymore. 

Butterflies are a symbol of rebirth as they are born from metamorphosis. Just like the butterflies, the cherry blossoms are a sign of renewal and rebirth when they bloom. Doves represent a new journey and infinity... represents eternity. All the gifts have only one meaning I want to convey to you."

A gentle brush of the wind scattered the plum blossoms and flew past them. The sound of the leaves rustling in the night air felt like small bells sweetly chiming with their melody.

"Everything began here for us seven years back. And now, our new journey will also start from this very same tree where we first met. This place gave you bitter memories in the past. But now every corner of this campus will only bring a smile to your lips. It's like our marriage will be reborn, and this time…" his shoulders trembled a little, "I will give you nothing but happiness. Our journey starting from tonight will only fill your life with laughter and joy."

Holding her hand and gently kissing the back of it, he asked, "Xinyi, I love you. I want to spend my life with you. I want to raise our children together. I want to grow old with you until our hair turns grey. I want to take my last breath in your arms, and in all my next lives, I only want you and only you to be my wife. Please...please forgive me for making you wait for so long. I want another chance to make everything right for us. Will you give me that chance, Xinyi?"

He took a deep breath. "Will you marry me?"

Xinyi softly collapsed on her knees, and as she looked into his eyes filled with love for her, it felt as if all the past torment she went through amounted to nothing before Zhiyuan's confession.

How long...for how long had Xinyi waited to hear these words from his lips? For how long had she wanted him to fall for her? For how long had she wanted to have a place in his heart like he had in hers?

But now that sorrowful wait and hopelessness dissipated into the air. 

One of the reasons why she never approached Zhiyuan in the years was because she didn't want him to pity her. She was afraid that Zhiyuan's love would be nothing more than sympathy to give justice to her.

She didn't want him to love her because he felt he had no choice or because he wouldn't want to hurt her. She was his wife, and a wife deserved her husband's love.

Yes, she does.

But Xinyi didn't want his affection with that kind of forced logic. A love out of responsibility was what she never desired.

But now there was no doubt about Zhiyuan's love. There was no hesitation and no need to think twice about it. His feelings were pure and as white as snow.

"You know…" it was difficult to speak with all the overwhelming emotions squishing her heart in bliss. She couldn't stop her tears from falling. Her lips quivered, and her voice choked.

"It would have hurt me more had you said these words when we had gotten married. If you said those false words to keep me happy, I... wouldn't have been able to bear it. That's why I was always grateful to you for treating me as your precious friend. Yes, I always wanted your love. But if you had forced yourself for our marriage, we would have lost our friendship along the way too. I... wouldn't have been left with anything. Neither your love, nor your friendship. Thank you Zhiyuan...thank you for protecting our friendship."

Zhiyuan stared at her, stunned, the corner of his eyes slightly aching.

"You are so silly for thanking me. I don't deserve it because I have only caused you pain."

She slapped his hand and glared at him. "It means nothing now."

"You...I don't know what to do with you," he helplessly shook his head.

She smiled and looked at the ring. "How about putting the ring on me for now?"

Zhiyuan felt his heart skip a beat. "...Really?"

"Really."

Zhiyuan slipped the ring on her finger as his lips curved into a bright smile. Xinyi looked breath-taking with the earrings, pendant and ring as if she looked like a bride.. Intertwining his fingers against hers, Zhiyuan pulled her in his arms and shared their first kiss of their new beginning under the beautiful plum blossoms tree.