Because I Cannot Hurt You

Lei Biya was so frightened that she almost collapsed. 

"Deming?"

Behind him also stood Lei Shu and Lei Shing, who seemed horrified.

"Mom…" Lei Shu cried. "What am I hearing? Y-you tried to kill bro Xiaosi?"

Lei Biya paled.

Bro?

"Mom, how could you do this!? How could you try to kill him!?"

She frantically shook her head and got up. "It's a misunderstanding, dear…"

"We heard everything!" Lei Shing spoke this time. "Mom, are you serious? He is your son, for God's sake! What kind of a mother would kill her own child?"

She froze.

Her husband, Lei Deming, trembled and breathed uneasily. "Why did you hide it from us, Biya?"

"No, Deming. Listen to me…" she burst into tears.

"But more importantly, how could you do that to Xiaosi?" He asked, his voice filled with disappointment.

She stared at him. "What?"

"Biya. I feel extremely hurt for your past. Indeed, you have suffered," he clenched his fist as his eyes teared up. "I am sorry that you had to go through all that. It's okay if you didn't want to share that painful part of your past. But...how could you abandon Xiaosi?"

She stiffened.

"He was as innocent as you. It wasn't his fault what happened to you. He was ALSO a victim, Biya. Even so, you left him at the orphanage. And now you tried to kill him?" He was aghast.

Lei Biya was stupefied. 

"What were you so afraid of? Did you really think that I would leave you knowing about your past? Or will I start to hate you? Did you have that little trust in us?"

Lei Shu gritted her teeth and shook her hard in anger. "Mom, what happened to you!? Why do you hate him so much? He has done nothing but help us! He could have refused to work with us. But he still did. Our company is still alive because of him. And do you know what? He even took revenge from bro and my exes who used us! You read the news, right? That my ex-boyfriends were caught by the cops and bro's ex was exposed in a scandal? It was all bro Xiaosi who did that!"

Lei Biya slowly widened her eyes.

"Do you know why he did it? Because even if you don't treat him as your son, he still treats us as his family. He was angry because his brother and sister were used and hurt, so he took revenge! Mom...he has been nothing but a good son and brother to us. But what have you done?"

Lei Shing clenched his jaw in anger. "Mom, don't you think that if bro had to embarrass you by exposing your relationship with him, he would have already done so? He didn't have to wait, did he? He didn't have to use any roundabout ways by showing us pictures or planting any doubts. He could have simply confronted you in front of us. Even if you had lied, you were never in any position to rebuke his claims. He could prove the truth whenever he wanted."

Lei Biya was blank. "I-I…"

Lei Shu exclaimed. "Why, Mom!? You are horrible! Bro was already sick! He had a brain tumor, and he was finally recovering, but you went ahead and crashed his car! Yes, you are right. We hate you! But not because we are disgusted by your past or that you had another son but because you tried to kill him!"

Lei Biya stumbled and collapsed on her knees. Tears plopped from her eyes as she sobbed. "I had no choice…please understand...I didn't want to lose you all. I never wanted to hide my past. But I was terrified that Deming would leave me…"

She covered her face and cried harder. "Before I met Deming, I was in a relationship with another man. When I left that abuser and dropped Xiaosi in an orphanage, I began my new life. I fell in love with a man I met where I worked," she gasped, "Everything was going good. He was the kind of man I wanted to spend my life with. But I didn't want to hide about Xiaosi from him. It was hard. It was really hard...to confess to him. 

I was very nervous, but I thought it would be fine. He would definitely accept me. He really loved me. So he wouldn't mind my past, right? So one day, I told him everything. At first, he was quiet. But then he slowly smiled and thanked me for telling him that."

Lei Biya trembled. "I was really happy that he wasn't affected. I felt as if a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders. But then, slowly, I felt his behavior change. He started keeping his distance. He would have no time for me anymore. He always made excuses," she dryly laughed, "And then one day he said he wants to break up. He apologized to me. He said he tried hard, but he really couldn't accept me with such a past and someone who already has a child. His family wouldn't accept such a woman for his son either."

She raised her head. Her eyes were tired, and she looked as if she had aged a lot in just a few minutes.

"I was devastated. It took all my courage to tell him the deepest scar of my life. But he left me just like that. He apologized, and then he was gone. I dreamt my future with him, but it shattered in a single moment. I didn't know what to do anymore. That's why when I met Deming, I swore I would never tell him anything. I didn't want to lose him. I didn't want to live a lonely life. I couldn't let my past come between my happiness every time."

"But then Xiaosi came again. I was shit scared. He was like a thorn in my life. I had Deming, Shu and Shing. I finally had the family I always wanted...I was really scared that Xiaosi wanted to take it away from me. I was scared that he wanted revenge because I had left him. I didn't want him to be a part of my life anymore! Shu and Shing were also drawn towards him. I hated it! I don't want anything related to him to come back to my life again…I am sorry…I am really sorry...."