Because I Cannot Hurt You

Shuang observed him and noticed that the moment he heard about Han Zongying, he looked as if he saw a ghost. But it was just for a second, and he quickly retracted his expression. He was trembling just a second ago but forced himself to calm down.

"H-Han Zongying?"

"Yup. She was Zhiyuan's Aunt, is what he told me. But it's strange. How do we never know that Grandpa Han had a daughter?"

An Guoting wasn't able to answer her.

"Dad, did you know about her?"

"....I…" he faintly smiled. "Y-Yes…"

"Oh! But I don't remember you telling Caihong or me about Han Zongying. We always thought that Uncle Tian was an only child."

He stiffened.

Shuaung pursed her lips. "Zhiyuan told me that she passed away quite early. Do you... know what happened?"

It seemed as if An Guoting walked into a trance, and the past came rushing down to him like a strong force pulling him inside.

"She…"

His eyes wet, and as his gaze turned blurry, he slightly jolted in his seat. He realized he got a little emotional in front of Shuang. "I am feeling a bit tired, Shuang...I will go inside for rest…"

An Guoting slowly got up from his seat and walked away. Shuang watched the sadness and pain in his eyes as he heard about Han Zongying. It was so sorrowful that Shuang's heart skipped a beat too. She felt uneasy and troubled.

What must have happened? How serious is it? What's his relationship with Han Zongying?

She leaned back in the chair and pressed the space between her brows.

Dad doesn't want to share whatever it is. So, how should I find out?

She tapped her finger on the table and thought about it. Then she remembered that An Guoting had some close friends. One of them was abroad right now. But the second friend was still in China. However, he lived in another city.

Would they know something? There is no harm in trying…

Alright!

Shuang decided to contact An Guoting's close friend who lived in another city. At first, she thought about talking to him on the phone, but important conversations should occur face-to-face. It was better to meet him personally.

She smiled. "Today, I will ask his address from Dad with some excuse and tomorrow, and I will head out to get our answers."

---

The next day just as Xinyi and Zhiyuan had wished for, Han Huizhong headed out for some work. This was the perfect chance for them to check the locked storeroom that was forbidden for Zhiyuan and Zizi to enter.

"You never tried to break in before in the storeroom? Like when you were small?" Xinyi asked.

Zhiyuan indignantly said, "Why would you ask that? Grandpa prohibited us from entering the storeroom, so I didn't."

Xinyi smiled. "But you surely read my diary even though you weren't supposed to touch it."

He coughed violently.

"I won't be surprised if you tried to break in here too."

Zhiyuan's brow twitched. He lacked tears to shed. 

Ugh... Xinyi is still salty about me reading her diary. Will I never be able to win her heart?

He looked away. "...Well, I did try once. I was curious about it. I had dragged Zizi with me too."

That earned a judgemental stare from Xinyi. "But it seems that you failed because you still don't know about Han Zongying."

"Yes. Grandpa caught us and then shouted the hell out of his lungs. He forced me to kneel for the whole day as punishment. As for Zizi, he took away her dollhouse and never gave back. She cried hard that day…and the rest of the days too. I did say that I forced her to come with me, but he didn't listen to me."

There was guilt in his voice for dragging his sister into the mess that was originally his idea.

Xinyi didn't know why but imagining little Zhiyuan guiltily kneeling on the floor, reflecting on his actions, made her softly laugh.

He cleared his throat. "Don't laugh…"

She glanced at him. "You deserved it."

Zhiyuan pushed her back and trapped her with his arms. He leaned towards her face. "Xinyi."

She coughed with the sudden closeness. "W-what are you doing?" She looked away, her cheeks turning slightly red.

"I am willing to kneel down if that is what you want. No matter how long it takes for you to forgive me. I am willing to bear any punishment."

She pursed her lips.

"B-But you have to admit that I wouldn't have known anything if I hadn't tried to pry in…" he looked pitiful, "I know it was unethical, but you left me with no choice. Just like how today we have no choice but to enter this storeroom sneakily without Grandpa's permission because the elders are refusing to say anything about Han Zongying. It is wrong indeed but aren't you being a part of this too, even if you understand it?"

Xinyi stiffened.

"W-Well…"

She couldn't deny it.

"Sometimes, we do have to cross the boundaries to get the answers even if it will offend others."

He pulled her waist and looked at her with a pitiful expression that was twice as powerful as the first time. "So please don't be mad at me, Xinyi…"

He hopefully stared at her. One could see imaginary dog ears flapping up and down. 

"You…" her heart tightened.

"Please, Xinyi…!" He held her hand and squeezed it. With a highly downcast voice, he said, "I cannot see you ignoring me. It feels...so lonely when you don't talk to me. I cannot concentrate on my work either, thinking that you don't want to see me when I return home…"

Ugh…

She felt her chest constrict seeing him so down and aggrieved. He looked like Siying, who would stare at her with his big, watery eyes and pleaded to her to forgive him whenever he made a mistake. 

Zhiyuan's gaze dimmed. "I understand. I won't bother you anymore... Let's head into the room before Grandpa comes back."

With a glum look, he took a step back.

"W-wait!" Xinyi pulled his coat. At first, she hesitated but then slowly said as she bit her lip, "I-It's okay...I forgive you."