Because I Cannot Hurt You

Her ears tickled and buzzed at his sweet words. She blushed and buried her face in his chest. "R-really?"

You are really important to me…

Yunru had no idea just how much his words meant to her. Her heart thumped in joy. This whole trip had brought them closer to each other. 

"Yes…That's why please always stay by my side. Don't get into anything dangerous again. I would have never been able to forgive myself if you had been hurt."

Zizi thought about it and felt he was right to think that way.

"I won't.. I promise," she nodded and resolutely said.

They remained in that warm embrace for a while. As Yunru slowly pulled back, he gazed into her eyes. Zizi couldn't help but blush and looked away.

"Y-you...why are you looking at me like that?"

He gently tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, making his fingers softly graze across her skin. "Hmm? Is it wrong to look at you?"

She blushed even more.

"O-of course not! Look at me as much as you want! I am your fiance, after all."

Her shy expression automatically curled a smile on his lips.

"...Indeed," he whispered in a stupor.

Zizi asked, "What did you say? Say that again."

He snapped out and coughed. "What did I say?"

"D-Don't act innocent," she pointed her finger at him. "Even at the conference, I heard you say yes when I asked if you would make me your girlfriend!"

He chuckled. "Really?"

"Yes!"

He paused for a beat. Then he rested his forehead on hers and smiled. "Princess...I don't want to give you an answer in a haste. But yes. You are someone really important to me. It was the most terrifying feeling when I saw you falling from the cliff, and I realized that I couldn't bear to lose you."

An apprehensive chuckle escaped his lips. "But you know? I get afraid. It has been so long feeling this way that I wonder if it's just a rush of emotions? Am I clinging on to something just to protect my heart from the scars that I got from the past? Am I thinking of you only to escape from my pain?"

Zizi trembled.

"That's why I really want to think through this. I had given my all in those seven years of my one-sided love. Everything. So much so that I didn't have the strength to open up my heart to anyone else. I felt tired. But now something new is slowly filling it once again. I can feel it. But I am scared, Princess. I don't... know how to put it into words. It's like...I don't want to use you to get out of that past. I get scared thinking what if it's still her in my heart? What if I am just suppressing my feelings because you are chasing me and you are conveniently at my side to make me forget her? If I see her again, would I start clinging on to my past and my love for her?"

His fingers slightly shook as he held her face. "If it's like that, then I would be the most unfair to you. No, I would be a fucking bastard to use you. I don't want to be so weak, Princess. I don't want to accept you when I am feeling so vulnerable. There shouldn't be any place for her when I accept your feelings. There shouldn't be any thoughts about her when I would kiss you. There shouldn't be any place for any lingering feelings for her when I would make love to you. It must be only you and no one else."

He let out a troubled sigh. "I really do want to move forward and at times, I have instinctively felt to hold your hand and step ahead. It is so easy. You love me and I just have to say yes, right? But I don't want to regret thinking that she might pull me back again towards her. I don't want to stand beside you without having a proper closure. So you...can you please wait for me, Princess? Will you wait for my feelings to catch up to yours?"

Silence.

Yunru pursed his lip and felt guilt engulf his heart.

"I am sorry for saying all these things. I-I really don't want to hurt you by mentioning her but-"

His words failed to escape as Zizi softly pressed her lips on his. He froze.

Every last thought in his mind flew away with her kiss. He stared at her in a silly stupor. His heart skipped several beats, and he felt his blood rush up to his cheeks.

Her lips trembled as she claimed him. It was a short, sweet kiss that expressed how overwhelmed she felt at this moment.

She pulled back and stared at him. Yunru forgot to blink, feeling dumbfounded.

"I will wait," she whispered, "I will wait for you as long as it takes. But I won't wait by doing nothing. I will make you fall harder and harder for me that there would be no place for someone else in your heart."

Her eyes teared up and she held his face. "You...You didn't hurt me at all. In fact, I am really happy to know that you are seriously considering my feelings so much. I don't think any other guy thinks so sincerely before moving on and…" she sniffled, "it makes me so glad that I fell in love with a man like you. I feel so lucky to meet you. That's why you don't have to feel guilty. I will always be here by your side. I slipped the ring in your finger that night which means that I will stick to your side like a permanent glue haha…"

Yunru pulled her in his embrace and hugged her hard. He felt a lot lighter now that he let out all his feelings and worries to her.

"Thank you, Princess," a tear slipped down his eye, "Thank you so much..."