Because I Cannot Hurt You

"Careful."

Han Zhiyuan spoke with a low and gentle voice that felt music to her ears. Xinyi was in a stupor for a moment.

Xinyi loved Zhiyuan, but the aspect of his personality that she liked the most was his warm and pleasant voice. It always felt to her as if spring had come.

But that same mellow voice of his became her curse three years back. A curse that snatched away her sleep and peace forever.

"How long have I been sleeping?" She asked.

"Mama, you have been sleeping for an hour!" Siying jumped on her lap and chimed in. He felt wronged as he pursed his lips. "Mama, are we not going to eat pastries anymore?"

"An hour!!" Xinyi widened her eyes. She guiltily said, "I-I am so sorry."

"Siying," Zhiyuan's voice turned a little stern. It was still gentle but with a hint of warning in it. "She was sleeping because she was tired. You should ask Mom if she is feeling okay and not think about your pastries first."

With his father's reprimand, Siying felt dejected, and his black orbs slightly watered. "I-I..." 

"Oh no, no," Xinyi quickly said, "It's alright. Actually, the teacher praised him for his essay today, and I promised to get him pastries on the way back home. He is excited, but I unnecessarily made him wait for an hour. I am sorry…"

Zhiyuan shook his head. "It isn't your fault. It means that Siying should learn to have patience."

He looked down at Siying. "Say sorry to her. Whenever you are tired or sick, she is always the first one to ask you if you are okay, isn't she?"

Siying lowered his head as he realized his mistake. "Mama, I am sorry...are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?"

He raised his hand and touched her forehead.

"You don't have a fever, Mama."

Zhiyuan softly smiled and felt satisfied.

Xinyi kissed his cheek. "Mama is fine, honey."

Zhiyuan asked, "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "I...didn't have a good sleep last night. It might be just fatigue."

Zhiyuan was quiet for a moment. "Let's ask the butler to bring some pastries back at the villa. We will head straight back home."

"Oh...sure. Is it okay, Siying?"

He bobbed his small head up and down. "Yes, Mama!"

They sat in their luxurious black Porsche. Siying hopped into his father's lap and excitedly began recounting what happened in the class today.

Xinyi peeked at Zhiyuan, who was listening to Siying's talk with a gentle smile on his lips that was hardly noticeable if anybody else saw him. But she knew that he was happy. 

She knew everything about him because she was always watching him.

For nine years, the only man in her heart was Han Zhiyuan.

But she was not the woman in his heart. Neither nine years ago nor nine years later.

That's why, when they got married, everybody speculated that the marriage wouldn't last long. That belief grew only stronger when Zhiyuan went into depression in the second year of their marriage, and during that one year, Xinyi took over the CEO's position.

But to everybody's shock, their marriage didn't end. Zhiyuan finally came out of his depression. He took over the Han Corps again.

But he didn't divorce her.

Xinyi led this marriage with the love she had for him, whereas Zhiyuan upheld this marriage as his grandfather's stubborn order. 

She loved him. But the only feelings in his heart towards her were duty and respect—nothing more and nothing less.

Zhiyuan slightly moved his head, and their gazes met. Startled, Xinyi was taken aback.

Did he catch me staring at him?

She fumbled. "I…I…"

Siying spoke, "Mama, do you want to say something to Dada? You were staring at Dada all this while."

Her cheeks flushed being exposed by her son.

Wasn't he busy talking to Zhiyuan?

"...Nothing. I just thought I saw there was something on your face."

Zhiyuan slowly touched his face. "Is it still there?"

"There is nothing on Dada's face," Siying scrunched his brows as he carefully inspected his face, rotating it left, right, up, and down.

She coughed. "It must be my imagination."

The car stopped, and Siying hopped out of it. They entered the Han villa, and the butler immediately greeted them.

"Welcome back, Young Master Han, Lady Han. I have arranged the pastries just as you said."

Zhiyuan nodded. "Thank you."

The butler seemed anxious.

"Any problem?"

"Young master, Old master Han doesn't seem to be in a good mood…"

Zhiyuan gave a wry smile. "He is never in a good mood when I am back."

Xinyi's gaze lowered.

"No, this time it seems different. Even the other maids and butlers are keeping their distance from him."

"It's okay. You go back to work."

He nodded and left.

When they entered the dining area, they found the head of the Han family - Han Huizhong already seated at the main chair. On his right side were Han Mingli and Han Guang - Zhiyuan's Uncle and Aunt.

The aura around Han Huizhong was so terrifying that even the plants would wilt in his presence. His gaze was dark and dangerous.

"Grandpa!" Siying eagerly hopped to his side. "Do you know the teacher praised-"

"Not now, Siying," his voice was equally terrifying as his aura. Siying got a little startled and stepped back, afraid.

"Siying, come to Mama," Xinyi quickly said. One look at Han Huizhong, and she knew it. This wasn't a good time to talk.

Siying sensed his bad mood and dejectedly sat on her lap.

Zhiyuan quietly sat down.

Han Huizhong sneered at Zhiyuan, "Oh, I didn't see you there. I am surprised you got the time to come back to your family."

Zhiyuan glanced at him, who was looking at him in mockery.

As always, there was the feeling of belittlement and hatred in his gaze for him. There was not even a semblance of love in it that was real once upon a time.

"I don't understand."

"Oh, why would you? You have fed your brains to the dogs anyway, especially when it is about that woman I hate the most."

Zhiyuan and Xinyi stiffened.

Han Huizhong narrowed his eyes. "A little birdie told me that you were investigating her whereabouts. May I ask why?"