Because I Cannot Hurt You

In the middle of the night, Shuang came rushing in at the address that Xiaosi gave her. She didn't know what had happened, but Xiaosi sounded completely lost as she talked to him. Her heart thudded in anxiety as she climbed up the steps.

"Xiaosi!"

He was leaning on the wall outside the room as he blankly stared at the empty space ahead. Her eyes widened and she kneeled beside him. She shook his shoulder. "Xiaosi! What is wrong? Why did you call me out so suddenly and...here in this place?"

No response.

Shuang frowned. "Xiaosi, I am asking you something. Don't stay so silent! You are scaring me now. Do you know that Zhiyuan is crazily searching for Caihong? Nobody knows where she disappeared and then you suddenly took off too. What is happening?"

Xiaosi ever so slowly turned his head and faced her. His gaze was desolate and dead as if he had lost everything. He broke into a chuckle.

"Caihong huh…"

Shuang had no idea what got over him that he looked so defeated. Her sight fell onto the room whose door was half ajar. From that angle, she saw a woman's feet on the bed. She got up and stepped in and as soon as she saw Caihong lying on the bed, she stumbled backward in shock. Her hand automatically clutched the door for support.

"C-Caihong?" She gasped. "What is she doing here and-"

She slowly realized her odd condition and realization dawned upon her. Her eyes widened in sheer horror and she staggered. Suddenly, it made all sense why Xiaosi looked as if he had lost his soul.

Shuang grabbed Xiaosi's arm and asked the dreaded question that threatened to bring her heart in her throat. "Xiaosi. Tell me the truth. It's...not what I am thinking, right?"

No answer.

She gritted her teeth in frustration. "Don't be so quiet you idiot! Say it already! What happened? I want answers, Xiaosi! What is Caihong doing here? What are you doing here? And why is she in that state!?"

His eyes that shone in tears met hers and he self-deprecatingly laughed. "She is in that state because I...I... slept with her…"

As the truth escaped his mouth that stabbed his heart like a sharp dagger, he broke into quiet sobs. Shuang blankly stared at him. She felt a buzz in her ears as the words hit her.

"Slept with her…?"

Somewhere at a distance, she heard the sound of something shattering. Something breaking apart. Something crushing away into pieces.

Only then it was a few moments later that she realized that it was her heart.

"I don't understand Xiaosi…" her voice that choked was low and quiet, "Caihong and Zhiyuan are together. You cannot…"

She was aware of Xiaosi's feelings for Caihong, but she also knew that he had always hidden those feelings deep in his heart. There was no destination for them. What lied beyond the road was only heartbreak.

"I didn't want to!" He exclaimed.

Shuang was startled and looked at him, stunned. 

"I know! I know she is dating Zhiyuan! I know they are together! I know she doesn't love me! Even then...even then I did it. I had no choice but to do it! Everything only because of one man! Han Huizhong!"

Confusion and bewilderment was evident on her face. "What are you saying? What does Grandpa Han have to do with all this?"

"Everything! Every single fucking thing!"

As rage coursed through his veins, he recalled what happened since the goons caught Caihong until now.

The expressions on her face rapidly changed from shock to disbelief. 

"Your mother drugged Caihong and set up some goons to ruin her at the party!"

Mom…

Shuang knew that An Meiying really didn't like Caihong though she would act like a good mother to please An Guoting, but to go this far…

To think that she hated her so much, Shuang felt utterly disappointed. She wasn't unaware how An Meiying was greedy for power and position and Caihong being his biological daughter threatened it. But still, Shuang never thought that she would stoop so low.

And if An Meiying wasn't enough, she got another shock of her life to hear about Han Huizhong. She had a similar reaction about him too.

Even though he opposed Caihong and Zhiyuan's relationship, there was no need to plan such a drastic step just to separate them.

Her fingers curled into a fist and her eyes reddened in anger. Be it An Meiying or Han Huizhong, Caihong was innocent. Yet, two people had plotted to ruin her on the same night!

"I need to have a word with someone."

She turned and stormed off only to be caught by Xiaosi. "No! You will not talk to Han Huizhong!"

"Are you crazy!? How dare that fucking old man plot this against Caihong!" She laughed with a ring of danger in her voice, "And I need to set my mother straight too."

Xiaosi clenched his jaw. "Han Huizhong... you won't confront him. If you do, he will do something to harm Caihong again. No...no, no, no! C-Caihong is already...I don't want her to suffer anymore okay?"

She was dumbfounded. "Don't be a fool! Once Zhiyuan knows about this, he will wage a war against him!"

The mention of Zhiyuan made him freeze and the fury erupted akin to a volcano. "Zhiyuan? Like hell he deserves to know what happened!"

"What nonsense are you spouting? Caihong is his girlfriend! His grandfather did such a thing and you say that he shouldn't know?"

"Because he doesn't deserve it!" His nostrils flared and his chest heaved in breathlessness. "It's all because of him! It's all because he couldn't protect her. He is her boyfriend, right? Then where was he when she was sick? Where was he when she was being dragged away by goons? If he had been there, nothing of this would have happened!"

She pressed her brows. "Xiaosi, you are overcomplicating it. He is her boyfriend, not her bodyguard. He isn't supposed to follow her for twenty-four hours."

"Oh and then what about Grandpa Han huh?" Tears stained his cheeks wet. "He-he knew that Grandpa was so against it! He hates Caihong! And we all know how ruthless Han Huizhong is. We all know his reputation. Zhiyuan...he should have given up on Caihong rather than making his grandfather pull off such a disgusting plan! If he couldn't fight for his love and face, then he should have let Caihong go! And even if he knows the truth, so what? Hah! As if he would be able to stand against him! Zhiyuan is supposed to protect his woman, but he failed her!"

Silence.

The veins popped on his forehead as he cried his heart out.

Shuang took a deep breath and stared at him. "...What do you want from me?"

Xiaosi stiffened.

"Shuang...I need your help in marrying Caihong."

"What!?" That shook her to her core as if lightning struck her.

"C-Caihong won't stay with Zhiyuan anymore. And I will not leave her like this to face the world alone. I made her suffer. I want to take responsibility for it. You know that Mr. An would never let me go once he learns this. I hurt his precious daughter. Please Shuang...you have to help me. Please convince him to let her marry me. I-I want to take her away from all this…Away from Zhiyuan and away from all those who hurt her."

Shuang stared at him in a daze.

Xiaosi begged her. "I am sorry Shuang. I know that you...like me."

She froze. "W-what nonsense!" 

He shook his head. "I know it already. I heard you talking to yourself in the classroom once. You didn't know that I was there…"

Shuang turned pale as if she saw a ghost. Just like Xiaosi never wanted to let Caihong know about his feelings, she didn't want him to know about hers too.

"Please Shuang…" he bowed, "I know I am selfish for asking you this when you have feelings for me. But only you can help me. Please do something to convince your father. I want to take Caihong away. Even though she would hate me, I will bear it all. I will bear everything she has to give me. Please Shuang...I beg you…"

A while later, Shuang left in a stupor. Her heart was crushed into pieces to realize that she would lose Xiaosi forever. There was some hope inside her that maybe one day, they would get together. Maybe he would get over Caihong and she might be able to step into his life.

But that last hope that held her together was gone too.

In the villa, Xiaosi looked at Caihong and stared at her sleeping face for the entire night. She had no idea what storm she was about to face the next morning.

As the sun's rays hit the window a few hours later, Caihong woke up.

Xiaosi took a deep breath and steeled himself for his fate.

He smiled. "So you are up, Caihong."

*Flashback ends*