Because I Cannot Hurt You

Zhiyuan went outside and asked for a few logs of wood to light fire in the fireplace. The storm was beginning to gain its momentum once again after the light drizzle. He knew it would get cold in the night. In this storm, he realized that even if Liang had sent any rescue team for them, they wouldn't be able to do anything in this fierce weather.

As he came back, he saw Xinyi limping near the water pot. Zhiyuan widened his eyes and let go of the logs.

"Xinyi!" He grabbed her arm. "I told you to stay put. Then why did you get out of the bed?"

Xinyi quickly said, "No. I am fine. I was just thirsty so-"

"You could have waited for me. You are still weak and here you are moving around in this state."

She pursed his lips. "I-I am sorry…"

Xinyi then recalled the events and her eyes widened. "In all this mess, I forgot to ask. How am I here? Where is this place? I-I fell and then…"

"This is a small village at the outskirts of another hill. I met another elder and her granddaughter. They suggested that I come with them. So, I brought you here with me."

Xinyi was taken aback. "You? How is it…"

I fell in the waterfall. How could Zhiyuan have saved me?

"You are wondering how I saved you?" He smiled. 

She dazedly nodded.

He narrowed his eyes as he stepped closer to her. Xinyi was unaware. "How else would I? I jumped in."

Xinyi jerked her head in horror. "What!?"

Suddenly, she realized that they were too close. But she couldn't think about that now. "Y-You jumped in the waterfall?"

Zhiyuan stared at her quietly.

"Why aren't you answering me now! How could you jump in like that? Do you know how dangerous it was!?"

Xinyi couldn't imagine it. She felt dizzy because of a different reason now. Her chest tightened in panic. Even if they were safe now, the fear refused to settle down.

He smiled. "So you do realize that it was dangerous? Wonderful. I thought I was the only one who thought that way."

Xinyi was startled at his response. "Zhiyuan, are you in your senses? Why are you smiling at such a serious issue! You could have died!"

Zhiyuan's gaze darkened. He grabbed her arm and harshly pulled her towards him. "So could you have, damn it!"

She froze. Her ears rang for a few moments before she realized that he raised his voice against her. She felt unable to speak.

Zhiyuan coldly said, "You are talking about me? Why aren't you talking about yourself!? You shook off my hand just like that when I was trying to save you! What were 'you' thinking Xinyi!? Tell me! Do you know how I felt when I saw you fall? Did you think about my feelings? Did you think about Siying before deciding to let go of me? Did you think about Grandpa, Yunru, your Dad and so many people who care about you before you decided to reject my hand? You could have died!"

His chest heaved up and down as he finally let out his pent-up frustration and fear.

Xinyi stiffened. She lowered her head. "I...I...you were going to fall because of me-"

"I was there to save you, Xinyi. Liang and Ah Cy were right behind me. We would have saved you at any cost. Until then, I wouldn't have let anything happen to you or myself because I was holding onto you!" 

Her eyelashes trembled. She imagined Zhiyuan's state of panic when he would have seen her fall. She understood that it was a hasty and selfish decision on her side, but she only did what her heart told her to do.

Tears trickled down her cheeks and Xinyi softly said, "I...I am sorry for making you worry Zhiyuan. But before your safety, I couldn't think of anything else. I couldn't see you in danger because of me so I-"

Her words got cut off as she suddenly felt her face bump onto his chest. His strong arms hugged her slender body firmly. He buried his face in her neck as he tightened his grasp on her waist. 

Xinyi softly gasped in surprise. She felt disoriented for a moment. But the warmth of his sturdy chest enveloping her cheeks gave her an urge to cry. That scary moment of drowning in the water, the breathlessness, the water seeping in her lungs, the time when she was desperately flailing her arms and legs and the feeling that she might really die still felt fresh in her mind. The ordeal was over, but it was as if she was going through all over it again.

Only when Zhiyuan hugged her so tightly now did she feel safe. She couldn't help but crave more for that warmth and so, her shivering arms weakly hugged him back. She burst into tears, letting out all the tiredness and fear, making her heart jump in her chest. With trembling lips, she said, "Zhiyuan...thank you for saving me and...sorry for scaring you…"

Zhiyuan said nothing. He quietly lifted his head from the crook of her neck and stared down at her. He slowly cupped her face, entangling his fingers in her silky long hair at the back.

A roaring sound came from the clouds as they brightly lit in thunder. The heavy rain poured in and its fierce raindrops crashed on the roof of their hut. Xinyi felt startled by the sudden rumbling noise. But her nervousness was quickly drowned by the lessening distance between them.

He whispered, "Sorry isn't enough Xinyi. For making me scared to death like that, sorry isn't enough…"

Xinyi pursed her lips. "So-so what should I…"

"Hold me tightly, Xinyi."

"H-Huh?"

"Your fingers are weakly clutching onto my back. But I want you to tighten your grasp because, after this, you won't have the strength to stand on your own."

And then ever so gently, Zhiyuan pulled her face closer and pressed his lips on hers. Xinyi's eyes slowly widened as the realization sunk in. His fingers grabbed the back of her neck as he slowly but surely captured her lips. They traversed every part of her thin lips as if a traveler had finally got his oasis in the desert.

Gently, longingly, softly...he kissed her lips. This time, it wasn't an accidental peck or a missed chance like before. This time, with every fiber of his being that realized his love for Xinyi, he wholeheartedly kissed her. The love for her that overwhelmed him made him bridge the distance between them that he wished to do so for a long time now.

Even in that freezing cold, they could feel the heat burning within them as he sucked on her lips. He tilted his head and deepened the kiss. His teeth softly dug into her flesh, making her shudder. He kissed her over and over but was cautious not to make her feel breathless because he had no intention to part from her even for a second. 

Just like he had said, Xinyi was unable to maintain her balance and her fingers automatically clutched his shirt tighter for support. Her eyes turned misty. Her mind went blank and delirious. A tear escaped the side of the cheek as she couldn't stop herself from the pleasure coursing through her veins.

His kiss was soft and gentle at first, but it was slowly turning fiercer as he claimed them hungrily. A groan escaped his throat as the taste of her lips settled on his tongue. The desire to dive deeper overpowered his heart and his tongue forced open her lips. It meshed in satisfaction with her tongue. Xinyi felt weaker and weaker and she whimpered as their tongues intertwined. 

A giddy feeling arose in the pits of their stomachs. He swirled and slurped around her and explored her taste that was making him hungrier. The fear, anxiousness and distress built up within them until now unleashed. They both couldn't stop themselves from floating away into the whirlpool of desire and love. Their tango continued for a long time before Zhiyuan pulled out and started peppering kisses on her neck.

"Ah…"

Her moan only ignited the fire even further and he softly pushed her back, bumping her back on the bed. He lifted the lock of her hair from her neck and tucked it behind her. His kisses trailed down to her collarbone and she shut her eyes as he bit on it.

There was nothing to be said. Xinyi, who always acted mindful of their distance in all these years, couldn't stop Zhiyuan from kissing her. Neither could she stop herself from kissing him back. The places where his tongue licked and sucked her skin felt burning hot like lava. 

From her cheek, Zhiyuan traced his fingers across her arm until he intertwined his fingers against hers. From her neck, he would go up to capture her lips and then would make his way downwards again to leave his kisses on her neck.

And the sound of their messy breaths began to echo throughout the small hut as his kisses grew passionate.