Back Then, I Adored You

Her little face looked as pale as a vampire, as if she was seeing a complete stranger. Suddenly, panic began crawling all over Lu Bancheng. He subconsciously looked away from her and dared not lock his eyes with hers.

Feeling her hands violently trembling as she gripped his clothes made him feel as though a knife had stabbed him through the chest. He looked as though electricity was shocking him as he suddenly shook his clothes out of her hands and ran out the door.

……

The apartment was huge, and, after Lu Bancheng left, it became extremely quiet and empty.

Xu Wennuan leaned on the wall in the closet and stood there for some time before she regained her composure. Even though she knew it was her psychological problems that had spoiled his mood, what he had said hurt her.

Her father’s sudden illness had made her sad and scared. What had happened tonight was just a trigger that had made her cry no matter how hard she tried to remain strong. And she was at his home; she definitely didn’t want to cry at his place.

Xu Wennuan stumbled out of the closet and into the bathroom. She picked up the clothes she had left there when she’d taken a shower. She quickly put them on and rushed out of Lu Bancheng’s apartment. After walking out of the apartment building, her eyes started to get sore.

I used to be so happy, as if I held the world in my hands. How could it have left me so quickly? I lost my love and my virginity. Do I have to lose my father, too?

Xu Wennuan felt as though someone was squeezing her heart as hard as possible. It was in such pain that she couldn’t breathe. She wanted to be tough and not cry, but she was finally crushed. She failed at holding back her tears, and they suddenly were streaming down her cheeks. Having held them back for so long fully opened an emotional dam. She could not stop crying, and the more she cried, the more she knew she was losing any hope of suppressing it. She became physically weak and couldn’t walk. Her helplessness overcame her as she wandered around the street in the middle of the night. She finally squatted down slowly and buried her face in her knees, which did nothing to muffle her loud sobs.

…

A black car with hazard lights was parked at the curb just far enough that Xu Wennuan didn’t notice it in her distraught state. Lu Bancheng sat in the car, staring at her in front of him. Even with the car windows rolled up, he could clearly hear her sobbing. The sounds pierced his heart, making his body stiffen and his lungs unable to inhale.

Without knowing how much time had passed, Lu Bancheng finally blinked and realized she was gone. He did not know when she had left or where she had gone, but the spot where she’d huddled was empty. He continued staring at the spot without moving or showing any reaction. He remained in that state until dawn, when he finally began to regain his composure. As the quiet city became noisier with the morning traffic, he had fully recovered.