Back Then, I Adored You

…

It had been almost a month since Xu Wennuan had returned to Beijing, but she had yet to meet Wu Hao, not because she didn’t want to meet him but because she had yet to think about how she might react upon meeting him. They had kept infrequently in touch since their breakup, but it was awkward because of how intimate they’d once been.

Before falling asleep at night, Xu Wennuan had taken up the habit of playing two rounds of a mobile game, and tonight was no exception. She’d started playing the game three months earlier when she’d been on vacation. Every time she logged into the game, the first thing she would do is look at the updates from her friends.

This seemed to be the 27th day that “Zero Degrees” hadn’t looked for her. Xu Wennuan opened a new message to check in with him, but after typing the words “you’re busy,” she deleted them after some thought.

Humans are so strange. We don’t know each other in real life and only play games together over many years or in a minute.

We’ve only been chatting for three months. Why would I actually expect any news from him now? Why am I even initiating a chat with him?

Xu Wennuan sighed and then clicked into the game and started to play. She had played this game for years, but her skills failed to demonstrate that. In the past, she’d always relied on the dominance of “Zero Degrees,” but over the past month, without his guidance, she had been losing 9 out of 10 games.

Bored with losing, Xu Wennuan tossed her phone aside, turned off the lights, and closed her eyes to go to sleep. Her mood, however, fluctuated between calm and anxious for some unknown reason, and she could only toss and turn in bed.

At midnight, she listened to the thunder outside her window and, soon after, the pouring rain. Xu Wennuan laid awake throughout the storm, unable to sleep. When the storm had passed, her stomach suddenly began to hurt, a problem she’d had from childhood if she didn’t eat properly.

Clutching her stomach, Xu Wennuan climbed out of bed to get some antacids. After digging through the medical kit for a long time, she finally found the box of pills. Tearing it open, she took the medicine according to the instructions, stood up, and was about to walk back to bed when she saw a note inside the medical kit. Picking it up and unfolding it, she saw the familiar handwriting of Wu Hao.

“Antacids: Consume 2 tablets 3 times a day. Painkillers: Try to avoid taking them if possible. Consume 2 tablets if you really need to. Flu medication:…”

The note was crammed with instructions on how to use every medication in the medical kit. Xu Wennuan’s eyes started to turn red as she looked over all the items; Wu Hao had bought the kit and every medication in it. Throughout their 10 years together, he’d become well aware of Xu Wennuan’s idiosyncrasies, thus he’d customized the kit just for her.

There’s not another person in this world who will ever understand me more than Wu Hao.

No one will ever be so directly concerned about me to the point of being concerned about what I’m thinking deep in my heart.

But why did he sleep with another woman? If he hadn’t done that, we would be newlyweds right now, and perhaps I might already be pregnant like Xiao’ai.

Although she’d taken the medication, her stomach had not improved. Clutching her stomach tightly, Xu Wennuan laid down flat on her bed and stared out the window while recalling her past.

On that sleepless night, she had experienced a similar stomachache, coinciding with her period, and as if involuntarily she made that call to Wu Hao. Even though she had medicine at her dormitory with her, she still had needed him to talk to.