Chapter 33: His Past Had Brought a Shopping List

Dove stopped with her fingers on the latch. Thorne had not moved toward the runner or threatened anybody. He was simply looking at the notice as if the paper had reached across the hall and put a hand around his throat.

"Terminal," she said quietly. "Is that where it happened?"

He looked back at her. "It’s where they sent me away."

The bus terminal base had a name now, a route into the Warren, and people preparing to walk along it. Until that moment, his exile had existed in Dove’s mind as an awful story she could not remember. Now it had a delivery schedule.

"Do you want to sit?" she asked.

"I need to find out who’s coming."

She let him go to Varek without following. It was a small choice, but it kept her from turning his distress into a scene about how helpful she could be. She closed the gate, leaving the upper gap clear while she finished putting her own things away.

Thorne returned before she lowered the tarp. Terminal planned to send a supply crew after the next weather check. They traded salvage, hauled goods between bases, and had a reputation for taking unattended caches before anyone else claimed them. Thorne called that raiding. Their own notice called it recovery.

"Retail has taught me to distrust a very flattering job title," Dove said. "How many?"

"Six, if the road holds. Hale’s leading them. He was there when they expelled me."

Dove asked whether Hale had made the decision. Thorne said no. He had enforced it, which was not a small difference and not a comforting one.

She wanted to tell him she would fix it. The promise would have felt wonderful for half a second and meant nothing afterward. Instead she asked whether he wanted her to avoid speaking to Hale.

"You need supplies," Thorne said. "You can trade with him."

"That wasn’t what I asked."

He rubbed one scarred thumb over the edge of his coat. "I don’t know what I want you to do yet."

Dove accepted the answer. She had become very tired of people insisting she should know her feelings before they would let her have them.

Day Thirteen began with nine normal coins and fifteen Favor. Sprout offered three needle threaders, with twelve normal coins for selling two and a thirty-normal-coin leggings unlock for earning six new Favor Coins. Dove accepted both tasks and examined the little wire loops. Even the apocalypse had customers who would pay to stop swearing at a needle.

"Your cold tolerance has improved slightly," it noted.

"And my standards still include pants that fit. Two things can happen."

She used her pool water that morning despite the possible attention. Avoiding every stare was less useful than getting stronger against the cold. Her body stayed on the mat during the transfer, then she washed, dried, and dressed before opening. The wool dress pulled slightly differently across her hips. She blamed the wash until Sprout suggested keeping a note.

Kael traded a sealed packet of crackers for two needle threaders, inspecting the wire loops before putting them in his bag. The named target paid twelve normal coins, bringing that purse to twenty-one. The third threader remained consignment stock.

She put it in a marked corner so personal supplies and tomorrow’s possible charges could not get mixed together.

"I know you check everything," Dove said. "It still feels personal sometimes."

"Some of it is," he admitted. "I haven’t forgotten what you were like before. I can see differences without knowing whether they’ll last."

She looked at him, hurt enough to want a better answer and grateful enough to hate wanting it. "Then keep looking. Just don’t tell me who I’m going to be before I do anything."

He nodded. No instant trust appeared between them, but the conversation stopped pretending it was there. Dove found that easier to stand on than a kindness she kept mistaking for belief.

Thorne arrived near midday with the name of a driver who might trade insulated boots. He had asked Varek what the Terminal notice listed rather than offering to purchase a pair for her behind her back.

Dove put the name aside. "You remembered the slippers."

"You keep pretending you don’t limp after standing all day."

"The new insoles help. Don’t start collecting my bad habits like stamps. You’ll need another room."

He smiled, and four Favor Coins from his happiness brought that purse to nineteen. Sprout marked four of six Favor Coins, leaving the leggings shelf locked. Dove noticed the reward and then looked back at Thorne, refusing to let the number become the most interesting thing about his face.

She wanted coffee badly enough to buy one six-coin sachet from the unlocked shelf, leaving fifteen normal coins. Behind the tarp, she made it with kitchen water and finally added the spoonful of sugar he had given her. The packet was empty afterward, and she put it with the waste instead of pretending it was a sacred relic.

Thorne watched her take the first sip. "Better?"

Dove looked at him over the rim. "Annoyingly better. You may have been useful."

Ash came past while she was still smiling. His gaze moved to Thorne, then to the crackers Kael had traded her.

"Kael was here again?" he asked.

"He bought supplies. Do you need a receipt, or are you checking how many men can survive talking to me before lunch?"

Two Favor Coins of irritation raised that purse to twenty-one and completed the target. The leggings unlocked at thirty normal coins, twice what her normal purse held. Sprout confirmed that unlocking them did not put them on her body.

Ash looked at the mug in her hands. "Be careful what you tell Terminal. They remember you."

Dove lowered it slowly. "What exactly do they remember?"

His eyes shifted to Thorne, and the silence gave her an answer she did not like. The crew was not only bringing goods. They were bringing a version of her she had never met.

She glanced at Thorne, wanting to reach across the counter and keep that old woman away from him somehow. Instead she put her coffee down without drinking again. Whatever they were bringing, she needed to hear it before it arrived wearing her face.