Chapter 262: She Was Allowed to Want Backup

DOVE’S POV

"I’m not going anywhere," Ash said.

Dove stared at the radio on the trailer desk. Edrik sat beside her on the narrow bench, their hands still joined beneath the desk. Their van stood outside the open door. The operator had gone to fetch the next message sheet. For once, nobody was waiting for her to sell something, explain herself or smile.

She still couldn’t find the first word.

Ash breathed against the microphone. "Dove?"

"I’m here. I’m deciding whether you’re about to ruin a perfectly good phone call."

"It’s a radio."

"You’re off to a terrible start."

The small sound he made might have been a laugh. She wanted to enjoy it without remembering all the times his voice had made her stomach tighten instead. Apparently wanting something didn’t make it easy.

"Thank you for taking Thorne," she said. "And for staying."

"You asked me to."

"I know. I’m thanking you because it mattered. Don’t make me drag the words out twice."

He went quiet. A man with flowers stopped outside the open door, waiting to catch her eye. Edrik looked past her. His smile vanished, and the flowers went elsewhere.

Her husband caught her looking and winked.

Then Ash said, "I should have listened to you before you needed me this badly."

Dove stopped smiling.

The fan on the desk clicked with each turn. She watched its blades because she didn’t want to close her eyes and picture the Warren. Being hungry while people decided whether she deserved food. Trying to explain herself to someone who had already made up his mind.

"Yes," she said. "You should have."

"I kept waiting for you to prove I was right about you. You’d say something, and I’d hear what I expected."

"That sounds exhausting. Imagine being the person you were doing it to."

"I have been."

She rubbed her thumb over the microphone’s cracked edge. He couldn’t have been imagining it very well if he thought she would make this comfortable for him.

"I was scared," she said. "I know that was probably inconvenient for whatever you thought was happening, but I was."

His next breath sounded rough.

"I’m sorry, Dove. For how I spoke to you. For making you feel like asking me for help was another thing you’d done wrong."

She turned toward Edrik. He was watching her instead of the doorway.

Dove nodded once to show him she was all right. Then she realized she wasn’t quite all right and tightened her hold on his hand. He moved closer without taking the radio or answering for her.

That was what she had wanted back then. Someone beside her while she found the words.

"You don’t get to decide we’re fine because you’ve finally said it," she told Ash.

"I know."

"I’m still angry."

"I know that too."

She waited for him to explain how difficult she had made things, or remind her that he had come all this way. He didn’t. The silence gave her room to feel how badly she’d wanted an apology before she’d stopped expecting one.

"Good," she said eventually. "Then we’re starting somewhere less awful."

Edrik brushed his thumb across her knuckles. She held on, grateful that he wasn’t asking her to choose which feeling she was allowed to have.

"When Thorne can travel, I want you to come with him," she said.

"I was going to."

"Ash, for once in your life, let me invite you before you announce you’re coming anyway."

He stopped. Dove could almost picture his face.

"All right."

"I want you there. With him, and with us when we meet. And if I need room, you give it to me."

"I will."

It wasn’t a bond. It wasn’t forgiveness wrapped in a neat bow. It was something she had chosen because she wanted him to keep doing better, and because she wanted her family alive long enough to find out what better looked like.

Edrik bent and kissed her hair. "Tell him to bring your husband back hungry. We’ve got enough food to make him complain."

Dove repeated it, and Ash said Thorne was already complaining about being told to stay in bed.

"That’s my husband," she said, feeling the ache of missing him turn warm for a moment. "Tell him I’m saving my best arguments."

Ash promised he would.

While he fetched a pen for their next relay stop, Sprout slipped a small glowing offer into the edge of her thoughts.

*Future bond benefits updated.*

*You cannot possibly think this is your moment.*

*The store on wheels is still available through the next qualifying bond. Remote restocking for unlocked vending machines has also been added, using stock you own. Plus one teleport to a place you have visited.*

Dove stared at the locked symbols. *One trip?*

*One use. Further passenger and distance limits will be shown before acceptance. It is not available now.*

*Then stop waving it around while I’m trying to bring my husband home.*

*You asked what else would become possible.*

She had. She hated that the answer was tempting. A shop she could drive, stock she could send without standing beside every machine, one chance to escape somewhere she knew. Useful things, all waiting behind a choice involving an actual person.

She closed the offer. Ash could earn his way closer without Sprout putting a price tag on his forehead.

He returned to the radio. She gave him the next relay point and asked him to make sure Thorne ate. Outside, a truck engine started, drowning out his answer for a moment.

"Say that again?"

"I’ll look after him. I won’t leave him to come searching for you."

That was the promise she needed. She let herself believe he meant it.

The operator came back and pointed at the clock. Dove nodded, suddenly reluctant to hand over the microphone. Edrik’s hand was still under hers. She squeezed it, then leaned closer to the radio.

"One more thing, Ash."

"Anything."

Oh, that was a stupid thing to say to her. She felt the first wicked little smile of the whole conversation reach her mouth.

"I hope you like being tied up," she whispered.

"Dove, wait. What do you mean?"

She released the button and handed the microphone back before he could ask again. Edrik looked down at her, delighted.

The radio crackled behind them. "Dove?"