Chapter 111: She Could Want Them Both and Still Be Scared

Dove waited until both men had eaten before asking them to stay at the table. She had washed, dressed, and argued with Sprout about its timing already. There was no useful chore left to hide behind.

"I need to say something awkward," she began. "If either of you makes it worse on purpose, I’ll remember where you sleep."

Thorne put down his cup. Edrik stayed still, his attention sharpening in a way that had nothing to do with danger outside the room.

"Where I grew up, this wasn’t what people assumed," she said, gesturing between them. "You picked someone. Usually one someone. Wanting another person could mean you were hurting the first one, even if you didn’t mean to."

Thorne looked at her without laughing. That helped more than she expected.

"I know it’s different here," she continued. "I know you’ve said that. My head doesn’t change just because somebody explains the rules once. I can want something and still feel like I’m about to wreck the part of my life I finally like."

Edrik’s gaze moved briefly to Thorne, then back. He didn’t fill the silence for her.

Dove rubbed a thumb over the edge of her mug. "I love my husband. That hasn’t become smaller because I keep looking at you."

Thorne took her free hand. "I don’t need you to stop caring about him to prove that."

"What do you need?" she asked, turning toward him. The question seemed to please him, but he answered seriously. Honesty. Time that belonged to them. A chance to say when something hurt instead of being expected to understand without asking. Dove could manage those things better than a promise nobody would ever feel awkward.

Edrik waited until she looked at him. "I want you," he said. "Not only a place outside the door where you sleep."

Her face warmed, and she admitted she knew. Edrik waited until she met his eyes again. "You don’t have to keep guessing what I want. Ask me."

Dove had been hoping another plate of food would explain everything she couldn’t say. Edrik deserved an actual answer.

"I want to try being closer," she said. "I don’t want a bond because we had one conversation over eggs."

"Then we don’t make one over eggs." His mouth curved. "I wasn’t that attached to the menu."

Dove laughed before she could stop herself. Thorne squeezed her hand, and the tight feeling in her chest eased enough for her to breathe without planning the next sentence.

She asked Edrik what happened if she needed to slow down after starting. He didn’t look offended by the question.

"Then tell me to slow down. I can listen, Dove."

Dove glanced at Thorne. "And you tell me if I make you feel left out. Don’t turn into a sulking cat and make me guess."

Her husband smiled, but his answer was serious. "I will."

Thorne asked her to keep their good nights. Dove knew how he waited for her to turn toward him in bed, and she squeezed his fingers before promising she would. Edrik said he could wait for a kiss, although he wasn’t going to pretend he didn’t want one.

Sprout remained mercifully quiet until the conversation ended. Dove had told it to wait, and for once it had listened.

Day Fifty-One’s stock was four big sunscreen bottles. Three needed buyers. Standing on the service apron afterward, Dove felt sweat gather under her sweater while meltwater ran along the ditch. She quit making fun of Sprout’s choice and traded three bottles to the crew for shirts, flour, and canned chicken. Keeping the fourth cost four Favor.

At the auto shop, their rented office opened through the waiting room onto the repair bays. Dove and Thorne stood beneath the front awning while Edrik drove the pickup slowly around the paved yard. He stopped, reversed, and stopped again. Then he parked and checked underneath for leaks. The tires held air, the brakes worked, and nothing dangerous dripped onto the pavement.

"Can I get excited now?" she called. "Get in," he said, opening the passenger door. "Put your seat belt on before you start celebrating."

The first ride only took them up the service drive and back. Dove still laughed when the truck climbed the slope without either man dragging their dinner behind him. Thorne sat in the back seat, his hand resting on her shoulder.

"I’m keeping you," she told the dashboard. "The truck or the bear?" Thorne asked.

"Let me enjoy having options." They paid the agreed two battery packs after the drive was cleared and the bay door repaired. Edrik kept the keys; the seller handed over the fuel can. They had enough for the next stop, where they would need to trade for more. Roads and breakdowns still mattered, but tomorrow they could travel sitting down.

At the neighboring convenience store, confirmed open for salvage, Dove found plates, peanut butter, and wrapped caramels. Three stored items finished the task. Could she keep storing after the task was done? Sprout confirmed she could, if she had the strength. She added four sealed coffee packs and six sound soup cans in small loads, resting between them.

"Look behind the counter," she told Edrik. "There might be chocolate, and I refuse to leave it here having a better afternoon than me."

He brushed past her to reach a high shelf, his hand briefly settling at her waist. "Found what you wanted?"

"I’m still deciding," she said, then went hot when he smiled. Sprout waited until later to count their reactions and settle the day’s rewards. Loading and morning practice covered her active minutes. For once, she appreciated Sprout’s timing.

They planned to leave the next morning. Dove packed the washstand slowly, giving herself time to enjoy the last evening instead of turning the room into a job. Thorne went to help the seller secure the loose front shutter, still within calling distance on the apron.

Edrik sat beside the office table while she divided the candies into a little bowl. She placed it between them, then moved her chair closer than it needed to be.

He looked at the space she’d left and then at her face. "How close are you asking me to sit, Dove?"

She could have made a joke about the size of the table. She nearly did. Instead she left her chair where it was and made herself keep looking at him.

"Close enough that I don’t have to keep pretending I did it by accident."

His hand rested beside hers, waiting. "Close enough to kiss you?"