Chapter 51: #FIFTY-ONE

Nicholas’s POV

"Did something happen while we were away?" Roman’s question lingered in the room, but I couldn’t answer it.

The words refused to leave my mouth no matter how hard I tried. My thoughts had been running in circles since the afternoon, replaying every second I’d spent I’m Gareth’s presence.

"Nicholas." Adrian folded his arms, impatience already creeping into his expression. "We’re talking to you."

I squeezed my eyes shut for a second, willing my voice to stay level. "I heard you."

"Then answer." He pressed.

"I said nothing happened."

Adrian stared at me for a moment before letting out a dry laugh. "You’re terrible at lying."

I opened my eyes to look at him, a frown on my face. "I wasn’t lying."

"You’ve barely looked at any of us since dinner."

"I said I’m fine." I insisted.

"You’ve been saying that all evening," Cassian cut in, his voice carrying none of its usual humor. "You looked miserable at the table, left before anyone else and now you’re standing here acting like we’re interrogating you for fun."

I folded my arms around my body, trying to make myself smaller as their gazes continued to intensify. "I just want to be alone."

"So do we," Adrian snapped. "Did you think we magically forgot Saturday?"

The room went still and I froze, looking at him.

"You yelled at us," he continued, taking another step into the room. "You stood there and defended someone who nearly got you killed, then walked away while we were trying to help you. Elijah was the one you lashed out at the most, yet he’s standing here anyway. Roman practically had to convince us to come upstairs because some of us thought you needed to cool off before we bothered talking to you again." Cassian scoffed. "And now look at this. We’re the ones making the effort."

Roman rubbed his forehead with a quiet sigh. "We’re still angry, Nicholas. Don’t misunderstand why we’re here."

My voice was hard. "I didn’t."

"No?" Adrian challenged. "Because it sure feels like you did."

I sighed, pinching my nose bridge. "I know you’re angry."

"Good." Adrian snapped.

"But I don’t want to talk."

"And that’s where you’ve got us all wrong." Roman’s voice remained calm, but there was no softness in it anymore. "This isn’t about whether you want to talk. It’s about the fact that something is clearly bothering you, and instead of trusting the people who have been standing beside you through every mess you’ve found yourself in, you’re shutting the door in our faces again."

I looked down at the floor, not bearing to look into their faces. "I can deal with it."

Cassian actually laughed that time. "No, you can’t."

"I can." I looked up, defiance creeping into my tone.

"You couldn’t deal with the stalker. You couldn’t deal with the cameras. You couldn’t deal with the poisoned hoodie either." His expression hardened. "Every single time you insist you’ve got everything under control, something happens. Then we’re left putting the pieces back together while you pretend none of it affected you."

For a second, nobody spoke. Then Elijah finally broke his silence. "I was angry when you said you hated me."

My eyes lifted to him.

"I mean I still am but I came here anyway," Elijah continued. "And even though I care, I’m not over it if you think I am. I’m not. But you’ve spent the whole evening looking like something’s eating you alive, and pretending I don’t care would be a lie because you have me worried."

The room fell quiet again and Roman nodded toward me. "So tell us."

"I can’t." I shut my eyes and forced the words out.

"You can’t? No, that’s not it, you won’t."

"I said I can’t." I said again, looking at him.

"What’s the difference?" Adrian shot back.

"The difference is..." I stopped, suddenly realizing I had no explanation that wouldn’t create more questions. "...I just need tonight."

Cassian threw his hands into the air. "There he goes again."

"Nicholas," Roman said firmly, "we’re trying to meet you halfway."

I threw my hands in the air. "And I appreciate that."

"No, you don’t." Adrian scoffed.

"I do." I tried to insist.

"Then stop treating us like strangers."

Something inside me finally snapped. "I said I want to be alone!" My voice rang through the room loudly enough to silence everyone.

I walked past Elijah, grabbed the doorknob and pulled the door open. "Please."

Nobody moved.

"I’m asking nicely." I snapped.

Adrian stared at me in disbelief. "So that’s it?"

"Yes."

"We swallow our pride, come in here to make sure you’re alright after everything that’s happened between us, and you’re throwing us out?" He looked more pissed.

"I don’t have the energy for this."

"Neither do we!" Roman glanced at Adrian before looking back at me."...If this is really what you want, we’ll leave."

"It is." I nodded firmly.

Cassian shook his head slowly as he headed for the door. "I swear, you’re the most frustrating person I’ve ever met."

Adrian followed right behind him. "Don’t expect me to come begging again."

Roman paused beside me for just a second before he walked out.

Only Elijah remained. He stood there for a long second, watching me. "Take care of yourself." Then he closed the door behind him.

**********

The house was quiet after that.

For the first time in days, nobody knocked on my door, nobody checked on me and nobody called my name from the hallway.

I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling until the place went dark. The brothers weren’t wrong. I’d pushed every one of them away when all they’d been trying to do was help, yet I couldn’t bring myself to tell them why I’d been so anxious.

In the end, I reached the only conclusion that made any sense. Whatever embarrassment I’d put myself through that afternoon was over.

No one had suspected anything that had happened — I was simply being paranoid.

Gareth also hadn’t said anything, it would be useless to keep thinking that he had suspected that I was an omega.

By the time I drifted off to sleep, I’d made up my mind to leave it behind and move on.

Monday arrived without any incidents.

After getting dressed, I stood outside Elijah’s room for almost a full minute before finally raising my hand and knocking.

"Come in."

I pushed the door open.

Elijah was halfway through buttoning his uniform when he looked over his shoulder. Surprise flashed across his face before he smiled faintly.

"I honestly thought you’d leave without me." I muttered.

"I almost did." He muttered under his breath.

"I came to apologize."

He stopped what he was doing. "For what?"

"For what happened last time. I’ve been thinking since then." I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. "I shouldn’t have shut everyone out again. And... I definitely shouldn’t have said I hated you."

Elijah looked at me for a long moment before sighing. "I figured you didn’t mean it."

"Yeah, I didn’t."

He didn’t say anything for a second. "But..." He grabbed his bag and slung it over one shoulder. "...I’m glad you knocked."

A small smile tugged at my lips. "So... we’re okay?"

"We’re getting there, I guess."

We walked down the stairs without any word. By the time we reached the dining room, Mom was already setting plates on the table. "There you two are!" she beamed. "Sit down before everything gets cold."

I glanced at the clock. "We’re already late."

"You’ll survive five more minutes." She waved a hand.

"I can just buy something at school." Before I could take another step toward the front door, Elijah caught my wrist.

"We’re eating."

My eyes widened. "We’ll miss first period."

"So be it." He nodded toward the table. "Your mother woke up early to make breakfast for everyone. The least we can do is sit down."

Mom smiled gratefully. "See? At least someone appreciates me."

I laughed quietly and finally took my seat.

The conversation was slightly awkward because neither Elijah and I had anything to talk about.

Mom noticed none of it. She happily filled the silence herself, asking about school, reminding us not to skip lunch and telling us about the long week waiting for her at the company.

"I’m afraid I won’t be home much this week either," she admitted apologetically. "We’ve got a deadline coming up and your father has practically moved into his office."

I smiled, but it wavered. "It’s okay."

"Is it?"

"I understand." I nodded.

She reached over and squeezed my hand. "I’ll make it up to you."

As Elijah and I left the mansion together a few minutes later, I glanced back once through the open gate.

Mom was still standing in the doorway, waving us off with the same warm smile she’d always had and I waved back.

Maybe this was just how things were now.

Mum would be absent most of the time, and I had to learn to live with that.