Chapter 40: #FORTY

Nicholas’s POV

I didn’t get a response for a while after my question so I kept going.

"You all keep fighting each other like I’m some commodity for a bargain and it makes no sense because all four of you are mine. What good will fighting do? It’s not like I’m gonna let you find someone else or I’m gonna leave you for other people. Do you even take into consideration how I feel?" I questioned in frustration and Elijah gently rubbed my arm, making me sigh in despair.

"Nicholas, I... well, we..." Cassian couldn’t seem to form a coherent sentence and my heart sank.

"I’ll ask again. Do you even love me?" I questioned, my heart squeezing tight in my chest when they remained silent. "I’m guessing you don’t? You only want to claim me, fuck me and live your lives, don’t you?"

"It’s not like that." Adrian muttered this time and I raised a brow at him. "It’s really not like that."

"Then what is it like?" I questioned in frustration. "You guys make me feel like a cheap whore who switches between different men when, in fact, you all claimed me that night. This was all your fault."

"Nicholas, that’s enough—"

"No, it’s not enough. I can’t speak out anymore? It’s so obvious that you don’t love me. And y’all dared to ask me why I hung out with Elijah more? Really? Do you even realize— fuck this shit." I huffed in annoyance as I stormed upstairs and Elijah followed right on my tail, trying to stop me.

"Love, at least hear them out." He whispered when he finally caught up to me, taking my hand but I yanked it out of his grip.

"And when have they ever heard me out? When?" I whispered back in frustration, running my hand through my hair. "I just wanna eat and then sleep. That’s all I wanna do."

My heart felt heavy, however, and I knew I wanted to cry instead. Elijah seemed to notice and even though we were almost at the top of the stairs, he picked me up in his arms, making me bury my face in his chest as I sobbed softly.

"It’s okay. Cry it out." He whispered as he walked over to his room and when he finally pushed the door open, he settled me in the bed gently.

"I think I lost my mind down there once again." I muttered when he placed the food tray in front of me and then he shook his head.

"I think you said everything you were feeling. And I was so proud that you voiced everything out." He praised me gently, his fingers ruffling my hair gently and after a second, I buried my face in his chest.

He wrapped his arms around me as I held on to him, and we stayed just like this for a long while until my eyes were dropping close.

"Love."

"Hm?" I sleepily muttered as he gently rubbed my back and he tried to pry me away but I didn’t budge.

I didn’t want to let go; I felt like I wanted to merge myself with him completely.

"You still haven’t eaten." He pointed out and I pouted, still clinging to him. "Come on, you should eat first then we can cuddle to sleep."

"I don’t wanna let go." I confessed and he looked a bit surprised at my words. "Can I not let go?"

"Are you okay, love?" He asked softly as he caressed my face and he suddenly frowned. "You’re burning up all of a sudden."

"I’m fine." I replied with a soft huff, burying my face in his neck. "Just hold me."

His hands caressed my body gently and when my stomach growled in complaint, I finally pulled back because I needed to eat.

Elijah made me sit on his thighs as I ate with a scrunch on my nose and he noticed, his gaze filled with worry as he stared at me.

"Is there something wrong with the food?" He questioned and I nodded, placing the tray back on the table.

"It tastes weird."

He took a bite too and frowned as he turned to me. "It tastes normal to me. Are you sure you’re fine, love?"

"I swear I’m fine." I replied with a frown when he touched my forehead, then my neck before he took my hands. "Let’s just sleep now, I’m a little tired."

He couldn’t argue anymore as we got in bed and I snuggled against him, wrapping my arms and legs around him. He pulled me closer as I buried my face in his chest and he placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

I hated that I kept thinking of their expressions when I asked them if they loved me. The way they all avoided my gaze and then couldn’t even try to lie to me to ease my worries.

It made my heart clench in my chest but I pushed it out of my head as I closed my eyes, drifting into a dreamless sleep.

I didn’t know if I closed my eyes for about thirty minutes, but the pain in my stomach had me bolting out of bed and flying to the bathroom.

I threw up everything in my stomach into the toilet, tears rolling down my cheeks from how painful it felt.

Elijah was right by my side in a few seconds as he rubbed my back gently but it felt like I was gonna throw everything up in my stomach.

"It hurts—" I hiccupped in pain as I started to retch again but nothing else came out of my mouth. "Fucking hell, it hurts so fucking bad!"

It felt like my intestines were being ripped out of my stomach and my skin was on fire, making me cry out once again in pain.

"What the fuck should I do? What is going on?" Elijah asked in worry mixed with confusion and I cried out once again, making him race for the door.

"D-don’t leave me!" I called out to him, and he returned in a flash as he took my hands, making me collapse on him.

"Love! Can you hear me?" He called out as he picked me up in his arms, rushing out of the room and towards the living room.

I barely knew what happened right after that. But I was crying so hard from the pain that I even pushed Elijah off and stumbled to the ground.

My body was on fire and I couldn’t do anything to make it feel better.

The three brothers had woken up from my cries, but I didn’t let any of them touch me, not when their hands felt like they were even hotter than my body.

I heard someone talk about calling the doctor while I was dragged back to the bathroom against my wish, my cries so loud that I must have woken the entire house.

"Let me go, it burns!" I cried out as he touched me but he didn’t let me go.

Elijah managed to pin me down to the bathroom’s floor even while I struggled against his grip before he finally turned the shower on, making me gasp in pain mixed with relief.

The cold shower seemed to bring down the heat all over me and only then did I regain myself, my body shivering from the cold.

"Eli..." I called out softly, my hand reaching out of me and he took it, kissing the back of it softly. However, the moment my hand left the shower, it started to burn once again and I pulled back immediately, hissing in pain.

"The doctor will be here soon." Adrian’s voice echoed in the bathroom as he crouched down next to me and I reached for him too.

He knelt in the shower with me, placing my head on his thighs and I shivered. The cold nearly made me numb but the heat radiating off me made me think twice about turning the water off.

"Should I turn it off?" Adrian asked softly and I immediately shook my head, making him sigh in worry. "Is it a bit better now?"

"Hm, it is." I whispered as my teeth started to chatter and Elijah touched my forehead once again, his brows furrowed in worry.

"You’re still burning even under the water." He pointed out and I tried to smile through the pain that coursed through me so they wouldn’t worry anymore.

But I wasn’t so good at hiding my emotions or feelings.

Cassian and Roman rushed back in with the doctor right behind them, one that I hadn’t seen before, but I barely even had the time to look at his face well.

The doctor knelt beside me and checked my body, a frown on his face as he tried to take my hand out of the water. I immediately hissed in pain and shrank back into the space where the water poured down to the ground.

"Cases like this are really rare..." The doctor finally muttered after a moment of silence and I looked up at him for an explanation.

"What do you mean?"