Chapter 36: #THIRTY-SIX

Nicholas’s POV

"What do you mean by that?" I asked in shock, staring at him as I took steps backwards with wide eyes. "You don’t mean that..."

"Don’t you think it’s a good idea? It’ll probably blind him or something." He replied with a grin as he leaned against the door and all I could do was gape at him in shock.

There was no way he was actually going to do this in here... right?

"It’s crazy, Eli!"

"Well, I think it’s foolproof. Think about it." He whispered, his lips curving into a mischievous smirk and I huffed.

"There’s nothing to think of. I can’t expose myself to him anymore!" I said with a shake of my head and he grinned even wider.

"Who said you’d be exposing yourself?" He asked with raised brows, his voice teasing now and my face flushed. "You never fucked with your clothes on?"

"How— is that even possible?" I was absolutely stunned even as he stared at me, speechless. "With clothes? But how will you...?

"Want me to show you?" He asked with that mischievous glint in his eyes again and I gulped nervously.

Why in fuck’s name would this man tell me he wanted to fuck me for the first time, right in my room where the stalker was watching? How would that even happen with clothes on?

"Are you sure about this?" I asked with raised brows as I rubbed my arms gently. "I mean..."

"You don’t want me to fuck you?" He suddenly asked and I immediately shook my head.

"T-that’s not what I mean..." I whispered as I placed my hands on his shoulders and he wrapped his arms around my waist. "He watched Roman and Adrian fuck me earlier. I was exposed to him like a trophy on his table. I don’t want that to happen again—"

"Wait, Roman and Adrian fucked you at once?" He cut me off when he heard my words and I froze.

He suddenly reached for my shirt and pulled at the collar, his gaze darkening when he glanced at the spot where the mark was supposed to be.

"Actually... that’s... uhm..."

"Did Roman mark you too?" He questioned slowly and I swallowed hard as I closed my eyes before nodding.

I didn’t want to tell him yet, not because I wanted to hide it from him but because I wanted him to mark me too.

I had to be marked by every one of them anyway. That way, I could finally belong to my four alpha stepbrothers who claimed me when I went into heat.

Should I call myself lucky or unfortunate?

"He did. But I didn’t even know he was going to!" I said immediately before his frown could deepen. "I arrived home and I was suddenly pinned to the door and marked. When I woke up, he was busy kissing another omega. I kinda went into a frenzy with them... especially when Adrian showed up too. I promise, I wasn’t exactly in my right mind."

My explanation seemed to make him calm down but that blank expression didn’t disappear even as he stared at the wall. Not to be that kind of person, but he was hot when he was mad. It made me want to rile him up for no reason.

"Elijah." I called out after a long moment of silence, holding the hem of his shirt and he glanced at me. "Will you..." My voice trailed, my face feeling hot in embarrassment, and he raised a brow at me.

"What?"

"Will you fuck me then mark me?" I whispered, my grip on his shirt tightening and his expression changed almost immediately. "Will you knot me and finally make me yours?"

"Love... don’t say that because you think I’m mad about it. I’m not—"

"That’s not why... I’ve been wanting this for a long time." I confessed and his gaze softened. "I know shuffling myself between different brothers isn’t exactly the best thing to do because I know you all have feelings..."

"Nicholas."

"But I can’t help it either. I feel guilty. I feel like a slut and a whore. A player who doesn’t care about any of you—"

"Love, you know that’s not true."

"The truth or not, it is what it is. But again, I didn’t choose this. I didn’t choose four men at once. I didn’t decide that four of you would belong to me or that I would belong to four of you. I didn’t choose to become a slut for four men." I whispered and he looked at me in worry, his fingers stroking my face gently.

"Why are you saying all this? You know we don’t think of you this way." Elijah muttered, his voice soft as he cupped my cheeks gently and I let out a sigh. "Why would you think of yourself in such a vulgar way?"

"Your actions make me overthink everything. You get mad at me for kissing my mate. Another gets mad that I got marked by my mate. The one who marked me is also mad that someone else kissed me and marked me. Even going as far as almost fighting each other. Four of you claimed at once, not one after the other. But you all get jealous over me when I can’t even help it. When it’s all you guys’ fault." I explained, my throat tightening as I spoke and his face fell.

"I didn’t realize... You know alphas are dominant and we like to exert dominance. It’s... I don’t know what to say right now." He murmured with a sigh and I sighed too.

"I think of myself that way too, I’m an omega. What’s so special about me? Why would four men fight over me if they didn’t want something from me?" I whispered and he immediately shook his head, tilting my chin so I could meet his gaze.

"Listen to me. Everything about you is special. Your existence is beauty itself. And I’m sorry... I’m sorry I made you feel that way. That we made you feel that way. I won’t— I mean we won’t let you go through all this again. We’ll be obedient alphas... if you want."

His fingers gently threaded through my hair as he stared at me with affection and my face flushed slightly. If there was anyone that I could boldly tell my true feelings to, it was absolutely Elijah.

"I love you."

Elijah froze first, then I did, my eyes widening in realization.

Did I just confess that I loved him? What the fuck? What the actual fuck?!

"I... I’m so sorry, oh my goodness." I stuttered in embarrassment as I stepped away from him, my heart pounding harshly in my chest.

Why the fuck did I say that? What the hell came over me? What possessed me to say those words in my heart out loud?

And his silence made it worse. He simply stared at me in disbelief and that made me want to bury a hole and just jump in so I could die instead.

I cussed so loudly in my head that my head began to pound but Elijah still didn’t move or say a word. I knew I messed up... maybe he never really loved me and just said it to make me feel calm all the time.

Fuck.

"I’m sorry, I wasn’t supposed to say that— I just— I mean..."

"Say it again." He finally whispered and it was finally my turn to be frozen. "Please... I want to hear you say it again... please."

"I—" I was dumbfounded, to say the least. He looked like I had just said something that changed his life and it made my stomach flip.

"Please tell me you love me again."

"Eli, that was a slip of the tongue—"

"I swear I’ll do anything... Please, just tell me that you love me. I want to hear you— no, I need to hear you say it. I’m gonna lose my fucking mind if you don’t..." His eyes were technically pleading as he took my hands. "I’ll do anything you want. I’ll be anything you need, fuck, just tell me you love me."

Was he really losing his mind because I confessed my feelings to him? Did I really have such an effect on him?

"I... I love you." I whispered and he let out a soft groan as he buried his face in my shoulder, his arms wrapped around me tightly.

"Fuck, you really will be the end of me." He whispered in response and I swore that I could feel his heart pounding so hard against me, making my heart swell.

I just confessed my love for the first time to someone I never dreamed of... an alpha. And he... he loved me too.

I couldn’t say the same about the rest of them but Elijah? I knew it like I knew the back of my hand. And I knew I loved him so much too

"Eli." I called out and he pulled back, his twinkling eyes shining as he stared at me. "Wanna fuck me, mark me and knot me while the stalker watched?"