Am I A God?

The tattooed man carefully observed the rocks as his fingers traced across the jagged edges. A frown crept up his face as he commented, “There’s something strange with these rocks. It doesn’t seem natural. Everything about it is too uniform.”

Since these rocks were conjured by Zhao Yao using his illusion, there was bound to be imperfections with them. He could not make every single rock unique like how Mother Nature did it.

Upon closer inspection, the tattooed man realized that the rocks in front of them were like porcelain. The patterns and grooves along the rocks repeated itself non-stop.

He braced himself and started punching against the rocks. The echoes of his punches rumbled through the forest but it was futile. The man gave a dismissive wave of his hand and remarked, “These rocks are really tough. It would be impossible to tear them apart with just the two of us.”

The tattooed man stroked his chin thoughtfully before pressing his ear against the rocks. He seemed extremely adept and serious at what he was doing.

“So what is it?” The teenager asked.

“Shh.” The tattooed man held his finger up his lips to signal the teenager to watch his volume. After a moment of observation, the tattooed man asked, “Listen. Do you hear cats’ meows from behind the rocks?”

“Meows?”The teenager instantly pressed his ear against the rocks. Moments later, his eyes sparkled with amazement as he exclaimed, “Oh my god, there’s really meows coming from the rocks.”

The solemn expression remained on the tattooed man’s face as he nodded his head, “We shall walk one round around the rocks. There are definitely cats hiding behind these rocks. The only cat capable of creating something so mysterious is definitely the cat king.”

…

Meanwhile, after downloading all the games into the supercats’ laptop, Zhao Yao could finally take a break. However, his forehead puckered together when his eyes swept across the café, “Where is Matcha?”

As usual, Matcha was skiving inside the cat toilet with two pieces of tissue stuffed up his nostrils. He was beaming from ear to ear as his nimble paws darted across his phone screen.

Surprisingly, he wasn’t playing Mobile Legends. Instead, he was busy editing a video – his grueling fight against Lion King back in the dugout.

However, the illusion was no longer visible in the footage captured. Also, the poor lighting inside the dugout had adversely affected the quality of the video. Everything seemed so blurry and you could only spot Matcha running around from time to time. Sometimes, Matcha would be rolling across the ground, tussling with another cat or he would be slapping another cat on its face.

“Hmph, not bad, not bad. This video epitomizes just how much of a man I am.” As Matcha continued to appreciate his heroism, he did not forget to include some subtitles.

During the scene where he slapped Airplane on his face, a giant ‘Bam’ word was printed at the bottom.

Similarly, the words ‘So Strong” were printed at the bottom during the scene when Matcha was stepping on Sausage’s face.

He finally finished editing the video and decided to gloat to all his friends. He thought, “Hmph, what will be a suitable title for this action-packed movie?” Suddenly, excitement shot through him as his paws flew across the screen, “Intense bloodbath between a tiger cat hybrid and a bunch of stray cats”.

After sending the video to all his friends via WeChat, a gleeful smile crept up Matcha’s face as he rolled around with laughter. He was eagerly anticipating his friends’ response.

“Oh no, what if Elizabeth fails to notice this video?” Hence, Matcha decided to send her a private message, with the video attached to it.

Soon enough, an influx of comments swarmed at the comment box beneath the video.

Chubby Luban Assassin commented, “This orange cat is not bad, however, his footwork has quite some room for improvement. He’s nowhere as good as me when I was only six months old.”

Matcha choked with anger when he noticed those insolent words. He exclaimed, “You stupid rubbish cat!”

However, Matcha’s anger soon subsided as he started laughing all of a sudden, “Heehee, I bet this cat is still crazy over Princess Qian. I’ll just wish him the best of luck in his unrequited love!”

Moments later, a barrage of comments flooded the comment box.

Leopard Head commented, “The five cats are so weak! They don’t even know how to co-operate as a team? They don’t even protect their own bodies when retreating!”

Godly God commented, “Why does this fat cat look so familiar?”

Leopard head commented, “@Godly God, now that you have mentioned it, I also find this cat rather familiar.”

No.1 Dried Fish Fan commented, “Bite the opponent! Scratch him! How can you win if you fight like this? This is so irritating!”

Matcha’s body locked with range when he sieved through all the comments. None of them even mentioned how heroic and strong he was. He exclaimed, “All this bunch of keyboard warriors! All they know is to meow behind the screen!”

At this moment, the door to the cat toilet slammed open with a deafening bang. A familiar shadow appeared at the doorstep.

The shadow seemed vicious. Black streams of gas pumped out of his body as the shadow stared right into Matcha’s eyes. Matcha’s chest tightened with fear as apprehension clawed through him. He even started peeing uncontrollably.

“Zhao … Zhao … Zhao .. Zhao Yao!” Matcha immediately placed his phone on the floor and mustered the most puzzled expression that he knew, “What happened? Why is my phone in my hand? Zhao Yao, Zhao Yao, I have totally no memory of what just happened!”

Suddenly, a vein popped across his forehead as Matcha’s forehead furrowed together and whispered, “It’s an ability! A supercat is trying to control my body!”

“The only thing you know is to skive!” The familiar red glimmer of light flashed across Zhao Yao’s eyes as Matcha fell under his control. Matcha stood up and began licking his groin area. Then, he proceeded out of the toilet with a bounce in his steps.

“Be serious in your work! If you are crowned the cat star of the month, I’ll arrange a meeting for you to see Diana.”

“What’s the point of meeting her?” Matcha pretended as if he was indifferent to Zhao Yao’s words. Deep down, he thought, “A wise man once said to learn from your mistakes. I, Matcha, have been through so many ups and downs in my life. I have seen all sorts of tricks that humans could possibly come up with. Do you think I have no idea what you are plotting behind my back?”

Zhao Yao was somewhat surprised by Matcha’s behavior. He thought, “Hmm, I didn’t expect Matcha to grow smarter. However, he is still no match for me. He is far too naïve.”

Zhao Yao bent down and started massaging Matcha’s head. He whispered into his ears, “Matcha, you have to work hard and bring in as much money as possible. If not, how will you be able to marry Diana.”

Matcha folded his arms across his chest and replied nonchalantly, “I shall impress her with my true love.”

“True love has no value in today’s world,” Zhao Yao announced, “Next time, when you meet your mother-in-law, she’ll definitely ask about your occupation. You can only say that you work in a café. If she asks for the details, what can you say?”

Zhao Yao lifted his shoulder in a half shrug and sighed, “Are you going to tell her that your job is to allow filthy humans to cuddle and touch you?”

“Are you going to tell her that human girls would cradle you in their arms and call you all sorts of nicknames? Do you think the conversation can even continue at this rate?”

Matcha sank his head into his chest and seemed deep in thought.

“If she’s kind, she might change the topic and ask you about your interests and talents. What are you going to say?”

Matcha jumped to his feet and announced proudly, “Mobile Legends!”

“She’ll definitely ask you about your rank inside the game. What will you say?”

Immediately, Matcha’s feet gave way as he slowly collapsed to the cold hard ground.

“Haish,” Zhao Yao shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose before continuing, “You don’t have a proper job and do not have any talents or specialties. What will you say if she asks about your house? Are you going to mention my apartment? Are you going to tell her that you cohabitate with five other cats? How are you going to reply if she asks about your lives when you get married? Is Diana going to squeeze inside that tiny apartment? I mean they did use to stay in a mansion and have their individual toilets. Now, Diana has to share with six other cats if she marries you. What happens if you give birth to cute little kittens? Are they going to live in that disgusting place?”

Matcha’s mood plummeted as despair dragged him down to the floor. He couldn’t even raise his tail in the air.

“No house, no talent, no job. The future seems somewhat bleak. Maybe, she’ll be so kind and give you one final chance. She’ll ask about your background and might potentially accept you if you are a pedigree. Diana and you will give birth to adorable kittens and she can place her faith in the next generation.”

Suddenly, Matcha cocked his head upwards and was brimming with self-confidence. He announced, “I am a Jiangmen Fold, the last of his kind! After generations and generations, I’m the only one left!’

“Do you have any birth certificate to proof? Any photos of your parents?” Zhao Yao continued bombarding Matcha with questions, “Do you have your grandparents’ photos? Have your ancestors ever taken part in cat beauty contest? Have they won any prizes?”

Against Zhao Yao’s relentless questioning, the self-confidence brimming within Matcha evaporated instantly. With his head buried in his chest, he whispered, “Then what am I supposed to do?”

Zhao Yao gently patted him on the back of his head and replied, “Matcha, you are the eldest cat in my household. Look at your siblings. Roly Poly is too fat. Elizabeth is too proud. Dust Ball is too introverted.I’ll be happy if Mango can even survive with his intellect. Rice Cake is stricken with diseases. Who will inherit the café once I retire?”

“Me?” Matcha raised his head as a glimmer of hope flashed across his eyes

“Of course! If Diana asks about you, you can tell her that you are the successor to a two-stories cat café. You have tons of cats and three humans working for you. You have an endless supply of cat food, all imported from overseas.

I’m sure she’ll stare at you with saliva trickling down her mouth. You will be the best candidate to be her son-in-law.”

Match’s eyes remained glued to Zhao Yao as he continued asking, “So what do I have to do?”

Zhao Yao replied, “It’s simple. Start by becoming the star cat of the month.”

“Time for them to witness the power of my snow-white gloves.” Matcha’s forehead puckered together as he stared intently at his paws. Suddenly, he sprang from the table and dashed towards the customers shouting, “I will become the star cat!”

…

After a day of hard work, Zhao Yao brought Baiquan, Hanako and the supercats back home.

Baiquan asked, “Boss, we have run out of rice at home. Would you like some pasta for dinner?”

“Alright, I’m fine with anything.” Zhao Yao waved his hand in the air and commented, “Just call me when you are done. I have some work to complete.” Hanako threw Zhao Yao a condescending glare as she watched him walk towards his computer.

Hanako thought, “This stupid fella. He just spends all his time playing his stupid computer games.” She then ran into the kitchen and exclaimed cheerfully, “Baiquan, let me give you a hand.”

Zhao Yao returned to his computer table and noticed Rice Cake at the table waiting for him. Rice Cake sat there as her body shook with anger. She stared furiously into Zhao Yao’s eyes.

“Rice Cake, What happened?” Seeing how adorable she looked when she was angry, Zhao Yao could not help but stretched his arm out to give her chubby cheek a pinch.

However, Rice Cake instantly slapped Zhao Yao on his hands and roared, “Zhao Yao, why do you spend so much time outside nowadays? What have you been doing? Do you have cats outside?”

“Huh?” Zhao Yao gave an awkward smile and replied, “Oh is someone dying to play PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds?

With her high pitched voice, Rice Cake exclaimed at the top of her lungs, “You don’t say! You set a password on your computer and I can’t even access it! You are gone the moment I open my eyes every morning. You are still not back even when I go to bed late at night! You asshole! Is this how you take care of your cat? You should just stay outside and never come back!”

“Alright, alright” Zhao Yao carried her into his arms and cradled Rice Cake like a baby. He comforted her by saying, “I’ll play with you now, okay?”

“Yes!” Rice Cake’s initial fury evaporated instantly and was beaming from to ear as she exclaimed, “Remember to give me the 98k if you find it!”

“Okay!” Zhao Yao replied as he started giving her a gentle massage on her neck.

Rice Cake tried her best to resist but eventually inched her neck forward to enjoy this soothing sensation.