Am I A God?

Now that Dust Ball was looking at her squarely in the face, Rice Cake was able to see the mixture of poop and waste that was spewing out of her mouth.

“Ppp…poop monster!” she cried.

Horrified, she let out a wail before rushing towards the cat flap. She needed to get away from this revolting creature.

A look of panic briefly crossed Dust Ball’s face. She quickly shut the portal to her extradimensional belly and stopped the violent vomiting before going after Rice Cake.

“You! Stop!” she yelled, “It’s not what you think it is!”

Rice Cake screamed in terror as the poop monster landed before her, obstructing her path to the exit. She stood up straight on her hind legs to widen the gap between them. A shiver ran down her spine.

“You stink!” she exclaimed, covering her face with her paws.

“I…I…,” Dust Ball tried explaining, “I’m not a poop monster. This is my ability -,”

Rice Cake cut her off before she could finish her sentence.

“Your ability is to vomit poop?!” she asked, casting Dust Ball a look of utter disgust.

“No, no, that’s not it! My power is to open the door to a new dimension, one that doesn’t exist on this earth and cannot be reached by anyone else. My mouth is the entrance to that dimension,” Dust Ball said, drawing closer.

“Don’t come any nearer!” Rice Cake warned in a shrill voice, “You’re still a poop monster! You store poop in that dimension you’re talking about!”

She froze for a moment as the dark implications of Dust Ball’s words sunk in.

“You…you said your mouth is a portal to this dimension. Does this mean…does this mean?!”

“No! I didn’t consume the poop!” Dust Ball protested, tiny arms flailing in the air, “I ate five supercats! This is all their poop! They were pooping in the dimension!”

This caused Rice Cake to descend into a state of hysterics.

“Oh my god!” she screamed, pushing herself against the wall behind her, “Don’t eat me! My name is Rice Cake, but I’m not at all edible or tasty. I’ve also not pooped for a day! My stomach is full of s**t!”

“Jesus Christ, lady! Keep quiet!” Dust Ball said angrily, rushing forward to stifle her.

She was humiliated enough knowing that she was vomiting poop for catmint. She did not know what she would do if the other cats learned about this.

Rice Cake looked at her assailant helplessly. She was too frightened to fight off Dust Ball’s paw, which was pressed firmly against her mouth.

Feeling a tinge of guilt, Dust Ball licked the sides of her neck comfortingly.

She was exactly mid-lick when a head popped up through the cat flap.

Matcha’s face broken into a cheeky grin when he spotted the two cats huddled together lovingly.

“Aww, isn’t this cute? Are you girls pooping together? I didn’t know your relationship was already at that stage,” he commented.

“Mind your own damn business,” Dust Ball retorted, baring her teeth, “Get out.”

“That was rude, you piece of trash,” Matcha said, squeezing his head back out the cat flap.

“I’m telling Elizabeth and gang that you’re in cahoots with the new cat!” he yelled as he disappeared from view.

Dust Ball’s whiskers trembled with rage. She snapped her head back to Rice Ball, a determined look set on her face.

“I’m warning you,” she started, “If I find out that you told anyone about what you just saw, I’m going to vomit all the poop left in the dimension right into your mouth.”

A sliver of panic shone in Rice Cake’s eyes. She nodded vehemently in response.

“The cats in this cafe are psychos!” she thought in dismay.

Dust Ball removed her paw from the frightened Scottish fold’s mouth and patted her head instead.

“From now on, you’re with me. I’ll take you under my wing,” she announced.

Rice Cake’s first reaction was to refuse profusely. However, the sight of Dust Ball’s open mouth and the lethal smell emitting from it stopped her from doing that.

“I got it,” she said, nodding her head.

Quite a bit of internal monologue had taken place before she could come to that decision. “I have to fake subservience for now. This monster is too powerful. If I want to one day bring suffering to mankind, I have to first protect myself. I’ll have to let go of my pride.”

Dust Ball narrowed her eyes at Rice Cake, sizing her up.

“Good. I need you to go outside and be my lookout. Don’t let anyone come in until after I’m done,” she instructed.

Since Rice Cake had already caught her in the act, she made the perfect watchman.

Obediently, Rice Cake stuck herself in the cat flap, blocking it entirely. Goosebumps ran up and down her body whenever she heard the disgusting belching from behind her.

“Psychos. They’re all psychos here,” she thought miserably.

*

Zhao Yao was absorbed in another round of PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds when he felt something furry squirm onto his lap. He glanced down to find Rice Cake curled in a tight ball, pressing against his abdomen.

The cat was crying on the inside.

“This is madness! The cats in this cafe are insane! I’m safer in this human’s arms,” she thought.

Zhao Yao took another curious look at her before getting sucked into the game again. He was, however, soon distracted by his ringing phone. The caller’s name flashing on his screen made him feel slightly anxious.

“Hello?”

“Okay.”

“Yep.”

“Yes, I understand.”

“I’ll be home next week.”

He heaved a sigh of relief after hanging up.

“Damn, I can’t believe I forgot about this.”

He had promised to visit his family this month. However, he was so preoccupied with dealing with Ho Hao Cang and the earthquake cat that he completely forgot about it. By now, the month was drawing to a close. His mom called him to remind him to come home.

Zhao Yao had no idea how he was going to explain his newfound wealth to his parents and sister. He wanted to share some of his money with them, but that would no doubt raise the difficult question of how he struck it rich in the first place,

“I’ll think about it after this match.”

Rice Cake’s furry ears were twitching to the beat of the gunshots from Zhao Yao’s game.

Curious, she stood on tiptoes and straightened her body, both paws placed on the edge of the table to keep her balanced. She stared at his laptop screen, transfixed.

As she watched Zhao Yao’s avatar make a bloody mess of a woman with a shotgun, her eyes shone.

All the mobile games, videos, and animations that Zhao Yao had shown her before did not interest her. Rice Cake had gone through real hardships. Those things paled in comparison to the realities of the harsh world.

But this was different.

Watching Zhao Yao kill his way through the game was a revelation. The myriad of weapons, the bloodshed, and the explosions were a jolt to Rice Cake’s system. She could not look away.

As a new round began, Rice Cake watched in frustration as Zhao Yao’s naked avatar adopted a defensive mode of playing. He focused on scavenging for items across the room and ran when he saw other people.

“Why are you running away?!” she exclaimed, “Kill, kill, kill!”

“You know nothing, Rice Cake,” Zhao Yao said, patting the agitated cat on the head, “To succeed, you have to play the long game. Hiding today gives me a chance of winning tomorrow. It gives me the chance to be that final survivor. I don’t even have a weapon. If I strike now, it’s the end.”

Rice Cake listened attentively to Zhao Yao’s lecture. She did not grow angry or defensive. Instead, her eyes flashed with understanding and agreement.

“That’s right. There’s no point in fighting when I’m not confident of winning. Survival is key. Not pride or glory,” she thought to herself, “It’s the same for me. I’m at this cafe to survive. I’ll grit my teeth and lie low today for that one chance at victory tomorrow.”