Am I A God?

“You’ve changed,” Elizabeth said, shooting Zhao Yao an icy stare.

“Changed how?”

“You don’t give a s**t about us now that there’s a new cat,” Dust Ball remarked, shaking her little head, “You men are all the same. It’s always out with the old, in with the new.”

“I don’t like this Scottish fold. We should sterilize her. Her power is too dangerous,” Elizabeth added coolly.

Roly Poly chimed in as well. “The cat-to-floor-area ratio here is a getting quite unfavorable.”

“I agree,” Dust Ball continued, “Her presence is tearing us apart, Zhao Yao! You’re too biased towards her. If she and I both fell into the sea, who will you save first?”

The three supercats piled sentence after sentence on top of each other’s words. They got increasingly carried away, completely disregarding Zhao Yao even though he was standing right in front of them.

This made him purse his lips.

He understood that cats did not like new additions to the family. Normal cats would grow aggressive when that happened to exert their dominance and fight for their rightful territory. Supercats may be a whole lot smarter, but they still shared these same tendencies.

This snoring episode was just the first spark of tension. It lit the fuse for even conflicts in the future. Zhao Yao knew that if he did not stamp it out now, the hostility the rest bore towards Rice Cake would explode.

Like a parent disciplining wayward children, he had to be firm. And a little dramatic.

“Yes, I have changed, haven’t I?” he seethed, “I think I’ve become too nice recently. Now, look at you. You’ve repaid my kindness with disrespect. Have you forgotten who your master is?”

As Zhao Yao spoke, the cats could sense a deadly, black aura radiating from him. It seemed to shoot through the air, rocketing right at them like a bullet.

Roly Poly was the first to respond.

“Oh no! Zhao Yao is angry!” he cried, dropping to his knees and covering his head with his paws.

He started shaking violently in fear, which activated his power of invisibility. Within seconds, he was disappeared. All that remained was a pool of yellow liquid on the floor.

Roly Poly had wet himself.

Elizabeth’s pupils had contracted in fright. Strands of her long, white hair had started to the ground out of stress, but she spoke up anyway.

“We don’t have to be scared! What’s the worst he can do? Hit us? That’s nothing, am I right, Dust Ball?”

She turned around to find Dust Ball has disappeared as well. The dwarf had sucked herself into the safety of the extradimensional belly.

Elizabeth turned back around, shaking.

She had been abandoned.

“I’m not afraid of you, Zhao Yao!” she exclaimed, gulping.

Zhao Yao ignored her. Instead, he cast his eye to the urine splattered on the floor.

“Roly Poly, you better clean up your mess or I’m making you lick the floor dry, ” he glared.

“Yes, sir!” the fat cat said obediently, revealing his physical form.

He sprung to the kitchen and returned with a wad of paper towels hanging from the corner of his mouth.

Zhao Yao then flexed his fingers menacingly before reaching into his mouth. He hooked one finger and threw a struggling Dust Ball out. The cat hung onto his lips, kicking and screaming.

“I don’t want to come out! Let me go!”

“Too late now,” Zhao Yao said simply, his eyes flashing red.

Dust Ball immediately froze up and fell to the ground with a thud.

Zhao Yao sauntered towards the sofa. He reached underneath one of its seats and pulled out a small bag of catmint. He then picked up a lighter on the table with his free hand.

“See this? This is 99% pure catmint imported all the way from Yunnan. It’s good stuff,” he taunted.

Zhao Yao flicked the wheel of the lighter, producing a flame. He made sure Dust Ball’s eyes were on him before he held the catmint over the fire, burning all of it into smoke and dust.

“One gram is enough to give you a high you would never forget. Alas, it’s all gone now,” he said.

He waved one hand to dissipate the dust for dramatic effect.

“Noooooo!” Dust Ball cried, leaping and reaching for the remnants of the catmint.

Zhao Yao now turned his attention to Elizabeth, whose hair was falling at an alarming rate.

“Don’t come any closer!” she warned him, “Don’t make me use my powers on you!”

“Threatening me now, are you?” Zhao Yao chuckled darkly.

Instead of advancing towards her, he held up his phone and started typing rapidly.

“In response to your threat, I’ve changed the wifi password. And you, my dear Elizabeth, have no clue what it is!”

The ragdoll’s mouth fell to the floor in shock. She looked up at Zhao Yao in despair, then fell to the floor in slow motion, hair shedding everywhere.

How could she survive without wifi? She had lost her one and only way to watch her favorite drama series. Just thinking about all the TV shows she now could never finish brought her physical pain.

Now that the cats were preoccupied with their own catastrophes, Zhao Yao thought he could finally deal with Rice Cake. Unfortunately for him, there were more than three cats in the house.

His ears twitched as he picked up the suspiciously soothing sound of water flowing. He whipped around and was greeted with a horrific sight.

Mango had planted his bum squarely on Rice Cake’s face. He had also started peeing directly on her.

“No!” Zhao Yao exclaimed.

There was a bit of movement behind Rice Cake’s eyelids. She was starting to stir.

Zhao Yao wasted no time in forming an illusion around her, obscuring Mango’s stench.

When Rice Cake woke up, she got to her feet gingerly. There was a quiver in her nose as she sniffed the air.

“Huh. Why did I dream that my head was being peed on?” she wondered, confused.

Her attention quickly shifted from her strange dream to an overflowing food dish that was placed mere meters away. It smelt absolutely divine and looked absolutely mouthwatering. It caused a surge in her appetite.

She shuffled forward and took a few massive bites before dozing off again. Her head was smashed into the food, thunderous snores blowing bits of it everywhere.

Zhao Yao stepped out from behind her, wiping sweat from his brow. He removed his illusion to reveal that they were now in the extradimensional belly. The appetizing food dish had lured Rice Cake there.

“Phew,” he whistled, “That was close.”

His nose crinkled when he caught a whiff of Mango’s pee. The unpleasant stink was radiating off Rice Cake, who could sleep peacefully because he was still obscuring her senses.

“Oh Mango, you stupid cat,” he muttered, rolling up his sleeves.

He shrouded his own sense of smell and knelt next to Rice Cake, grimacing as he cleaned her up.

By the time he was done washing both her and himself, it was already four in the morning.

“It’s okay, I can still sleep for three hours. Everything’s fine,” Zhao Yao told himself.

He climbed into bed and closed his bloodshot eyes.

Sadly, this peace did not last.

He was so exhausted that he had not noticed the furry thingy climbing onto his bed and settling by his pillow. Just as he was about to fall asleep, it started talking to him.

“Zhao Yao,” Matcha sobbed, “I can’t sleep.”

Zhao Yao’s eyes snapped open, his pupils clouded with fury.

He grabbed Matcha with one hand and tossed him off the bed. Then, he shut his eyes again.

A few minutes later, he felt a ball of fur tunneling through his blanket, wriggling next to his feet.

“Zhao Yao, Zhao Yao, my heart hurts. Is this what it feels like to fall out of love? Is that why it’s called heartbreak? I don’t wanna love anymore.”

Matcha barely finished his monologue when he was kicked off the bed and landed on the floor with a boing.

More time had passed before a wave of warm air grazed Zhao Yao’s ear.

“Zhao Yao!”

Matcha climbed onto the top of his head and started singing, “Never mind I’ll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too…”

Zhao Yao’s eyes were wide open again. He slowly turned his head to Matcha, who was now belting out another song with emotion.

“In another life, I would make you stay, so I don’t have to say you were the one that got away…”

Now that he finally got Zhao Yao’s undivided attention, Matcha stopped singing and looked at him in the eye.

“Zhao Yao, why did Qian Qian choose the fatty when I love her so much? Are we star-crossed lovers that are destined to never be together?” Matcha asked, his face full of sorrow.

“This is not love, you idiot. You two just played Mobile Legends together a couple times! Don’t be the kind of dumbass that fantasizes about marriage when you see a pretty girl’s photo and starts dreaming about your children together when you see a live stream,” Zhao Yao scolded.

Matcha’s Loyalty -1

“F**k.”

Zhao Yao took a deep breath and turned to Matcha with a kind expression.

“Then again, the fact that you fell in love with Qian Qian after just a few games proves that you’re the best kind of lover there is. You truly are the most faithful cat I’ve ever seen.”

Matcha’s Loyalty +1