Chapter 143

"Your Majesty, congratulations—you're with child!"

Standing right beside them, Yun Yaoyao's eyes went wide in shock: "Huh???"

Imperial Physician Shan realized he'd blurted the wrong words, and immediately dropped to his knees to correct himself in a panic. "Your Majesty, Your Majesty the Queen, please forgive this lowly official! I was so overwhelmed with joy that I spoke without thinking!"

"What I meant to say is—congratulations, Your Majesty the Queen. The child in your womb is already over a month old!"

Seeing that the two of them were too caught up in processing the news to punish him, Imperial Physician Shan wiped the cold sweat off his forehead.

This whole mess traces back to the day the entire city's people celebrated the birthdays of His Majesty and Her Majesty the Queen. Ever since that day, the two of them have been acting completely out of character, their moods swinging wildly.

One moment he'd feel the imposing, regal aura that belonged to His Majesty rolling off Yun Yaoyao, the next he'd see Her Majesty the Queen grinning warmly and being her usual kind self. As for Tu Shanjin, he'd alternate between looking so cold and stern that you'd swear he was seconds away from ordering your entire clan executed, and being so approachable and easygoing that he'd smile and ask every official how they were doing.

Their moods were so erratic, jumping back and forth nonstop, that this dedicated, hardworking court official's heart was constantly being tugged up and down in anxiety.

After thinking it over, Imperial Physician Shan could only come to one conclusion: two people who share the same bed can never be two totally different souls!

Imperial Physician Shan prescribed a batch of pregnancy-calming herbal medicine, gave them plenty of careful instructions, and only then respectfully took his leave. The room was left with only the two of them, still staring at each other in stunned, bewildered silence.

"We're going to have a baby?" Yun Yaoyao blinked, breaking the quiet with her soft voice.

Tu Shanjin nodded, swallowing hard. "I'm the one who's going to have a baby?"

"From what it looks like right now, yeah."

The two of them stared at each other for a long time, taking their time to fully accept this fact, before they both looked down at Tu Shanjin's stomach.

Just thinking that there was already a tiny little life growing inside, a little life that belonged to both of them, made a strange, warm feeling bubble up in both Yun Yaoyao and Tu Shanjin's hearts.

Tu Shanjin's feeling was even more peculiar—he was probably the first man in the entire world who would ever get to experience what pregnancy and childbirth felt like.

"Do you think it'll be a boy or a girl?" Yun Yaoyao couldn't stop herself from resting her hand gently on his stomach. The warm touch seeped into her skin, and her heart softened all at once.

"I don't know. Either is fine. It would be wonderful if they looked like you," Tu Shanjin hesitated for a second, then laid his own hand over hers.

It was warm, and flat, with no sign of movement at all. If Imperial Physician Shan hadn't diagnosed it, he never would have imagined there was already a baby growing inside there.

"It's fine no matter who they look like. We both have such great genes, it'd be a waste not to have a kid," Yun Yaoyao grinned. "Imperial Physician Shan said we can't share a bed for the first three months. Once you've been pregnant for three months, we'll swap back, and I'll be pregnant for the next three. Six months total, split evenly between us—our bond will never break."

"For these three months, I'll take care of all the court affairs. You just rest easy and focus on carrying the baby!"

The news that the Queen was pregnant spread across the entire imperial court the very next day.

All the officials were overjoyed. This was the future Little Emperor or Little Goddess who would lead Yan Chi to even greater heights of glory!

If His Majesty and Her Majesty the Queen could be so lucky as to have a boy and a girl at once, they'd get both a Little Goddess and a Little Emperor in one go. They'd be able to beat back the threat of Great Long and the Xiongnu, and make all neighboring kingdoms bow to them voluntarily—total domination was just within reach!!!

Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!

So for a long stretch of days after that, the officials started slipping little personal notes into their official memorials.

After finishing all the formal, serious discussions of state affairs at the front of each memorial, they'd sneak in a little line at the end.

Lines like "Did Your Majesty the Queen sleep well last night?" "Is Her Majesty's fetal condition stable lately?" "Has Her Majesty experienced any discomfort?" "This lowly official dreamed last night that Her Majesty gave birth to a boy and a girl at once—this dragon and phoenix omen is surely a sign of great fortune!" "This lowly official's wife has plenty of experience with childbirth, she can come take care of Her Majesty. If Your Majesty wishes, this lowly official can come help too, my entire family can come over to help look after Her Majesty..." and so on.

Tu Shanjin, who was a total workaholic, still insisted on personally going through all the memorials even in the early stages of his pregnancy. The result was that every time he got to the end of a memorial, he'd be caught completely off guard by all the officials' concerned greetings asking after his pregnancy.

It was hard to describe how that felt—just really, really awkward, to put it simply.

Just then the palace door swung open, and Yun Yaoyao walked in carrying a huge platter of green leafy vegetables, chattering nonstop. "These are all vegetables packed with folic acid. You absolutely can't skip folic acid when you're pregnant."

Looking at the huge platter of bright green veggies, Tu Shanjin felt like his own face was turning green too. He turned his head away, protesting. "I don't have an appetite. I don't want to eat that."

Yun Yaoyao was already a pro at coaxing him. "The veggies are yucky, but I'm nice. How about I feed you, okay?"

"Okay." Tu Shanjin was instantly appeased, and obediently opened his mouth.

As he chewed on the bland, tasteless vegetables, he picked up a new memorial to flip through, and noticed a few extra little booklets tucked inside. Curious, he pulled them out to look.

The covers read: A Smooth Pregnancy Starts With Proper Fetal Care, A Father's Voice Is the Best Prenatal Education, All Kinds of Strange New Knowledge From Pregnancy to Parenting. And at the end of each booklet, the signature clearly read—Mr. Fugui!

Yun Yaoyao burst out laughing. "I was wondering why he hasn't put out any new storybooks lately. Turns out he's been busy writing parenting books!"

Tu Shanjin was so amused he was almost angry. "Looks like the Dali Temple hasn't been keeping him busy enough lately." But even as he said that, he curled up with the parenting books and started reading them with total fascination.

The days passed one by one. They'd originally thought pregnancy would be a terribly tough, draining experience, but Tu Shanjin was basically as good as his usual self. He ate when he wanted, slept when he wanted, and didn't skip any of his usual daily routines.

Apart from his steadily growing pregnant belly, and the little movements the baby started making that he could feel inside, Tu Shanjin barely experienced any of the usual pregnancy symptoms.

Instead, Yun Yaoyao was the one who started throwing up. She was heaving so hard the world was spinning, she lost all her appetite, and she looked so pale and miserable she seemed half-dead.

Imperial Physician Shan explained this strange phenomenon: "Your Majesty the Queen's body has been nurtured to excellent health now, and with all the exercise she's kept up with, the child in her womb is also blessed with the good fortune of the heavens. That's why she doesn't have to suffer through the usual discomforts most pregnant women face."

"As for Your Majesty—your morning sickness, no, your vomiting, it's caused by all the tangled emotions you're feeling: the joy of soon becoming a father, the worry for Her Majesty's health, and the anxiety over your new responsibilities in the future. All those feelings mixed together are causing this sympathetic pregnancy symptom."

Yun Yaoyao nodded, her face as pale as a vegetable, and waved a hand weakly to dismiss him while she was still gagging.

Spring turned to autumn, and autumn turned to winter. Finally, the day of childbirth arrived.

Inside the inner chambers of Yun Ning Palace, the midwives' urgent shouts kept echoing out: "Your Majesty the Queen, push! Push hard!"

"Bring more hot water!"

"We're almost there! I can see the head now!"

"Your Majesty, one more big push! Push!!"

Outside the palace hall, Yun Yaoyao was pacing back and forth in a panic, glancing up every few seconds to stare at the doors, her palms soaked through with sweat.

The court officials standing nearby were just as anxious.

"Her Majesty the Queen is blessed by the heavens and a divine Little Goddess herself, she will definitely come out safely!"

"But my heart's still racing so fast. Heaven, please bless Her Majesty to be safe and sound."

"By the will of the heavens, this believer is willing to offer up all of my colleagues' official fortunes, just to pray that Her Majesty comes out unharmed, and the royal heir is born safely!"

Yun Yaoyao wiped the cold sweat off her forehead for the thirteenth time, glancing at the group of officials who looked even more frantic than she did. Anyone who didn't know better would think the person inside was giving birth to their children!

She clasped her hands together, praying devoutly.

Please, don't let anything bad happen...

Please don't let that stupid overused cliché of "save the mother or the child" happen...

They both have to be safe... wait, father and son both have to be safe...

It was not known how long had passed before a voice finally came from inside, "She's given birth! She's given birth!"

Yun Yaoyao strode right into the hall, paying no mind to the guards trying to stop her. She did not even glance at the newborn in the midwife's hands, and headed straight for the figure lying on the bed.

It was not until she held the other's slightly cold hand that the tightly coiled tension in Yun Yaoyao finally melted away. "You've been through so much... you've been through so much... as long as you're safe."

Tu Shanjin's face was as pale as paper, beads of sweat rolling down his temples. He smiled and said, "They say giving birth is like teetering at the gates of the underworld for women, and now I truly know what that feels like."

At that moment, the midwife crouched down with the swaddled baby in her arms to show the two of them, squinting and grinning joyfully. "Congratulations, Your Majesties! It's a dragon-phoenix twin! A dragon and phoenix bringing good fortune, the most auspicious sign there can be!"

The midwife had expected the two to be over the moon with joy, but to her surprise, while they were a little happy, that was about it. They only gave the two wrinkled little infants a calm, passing glance.

Tu Shanjin said, "They're a little ugly. They don't look much like you."

Yun Yaoyao replied, "Give them some time to grow, and they still won't look like you."

The two of them fell quiet for a beat, then sighed in unison, "Ugh."

The little infants seemed to sense their parents' disappointment. They clenched their tiny fists, their little faces turning bright red, and then wailed at the top of their lungs.

The loud cries made the group of ministers who had been huddled at the door anxiously eavesdropping burst into cheers of utter delight.

"A dragon-phoenix twin! A dragon-phoenix twin! May Yan Chi be blessed by the heavens, hahaha! The Little Emperor and the Little Goddess have arrived all at once!"

"These cries are so strong! You can tell they've got the bearing of an emperor and the grace of a goddess just from the sound!"

"Neighboring kingdoms, you'd better start trembling!!"

Some things are destined to unfold a certain way from the very moment they come into being.

Take Tushan Shihe, the boy, and Tushan Suiren, the girl. From the second they were born, it was clear their parents were two rather unorthodox, playful souls.

As the saying goes, if the parents are mischievous and a little silly, the kids have to grow up far more sensible far earlier.

And that was exactly how Tushan Shihe and Tushan Suiren ended up on their path of being surprisingly mature and responsible for their age.

Like that time when their mother was feeding them with a cold, stern look on her face, and their scatterbrained father kept leaning over, curious to see what the milk tasted like. The two of them tussled and pulled at each other so much that the milk bottle squirted right in the two babies' faces, turning their meal into a makeshift facial cleanser.

When they got a little older and could wobble around on their own unsteady legs, their father and mother would gallop ahead on horseback, turning back every now and then to call to them, "Hurry up and catch us!"

The ​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​‍two little ones would glance down at their tiny, stubby legs, then look back at the huge, strong horse legs that looked like they could crush them with one careless step, and sink into deep thought.

In the end, a lazy black horse named Rice Bucket could not bear to watch anymore. Munching on grass as he went, he plodded along slowly behind the two children, steadying them with his body whenever they were about to tumble over.

When they got even older, old enough to sit steadily on a trotting horse, their two unruly parents' eyes lit up with excitement. Neither of them could even remember which one of them blurted out excitedly, "Start the race for excellence, and start it when they're still babies!"

From that day on, the two little ones' lives became busy and packed full of all kinds of training.

The two of them actually had quite a bit of natural talent and put in plenty of effort too. They picked up every skill they tried almost instantly. As Yun Yaoyao put it, it was as if they were not learning something new, but just recalling things they had not quite forgotten from a past life.

One skill after another was mastered: galloping on horseback, drawing bows and shooting arrows, wielding blades and spears, writing elegant calligraphy, solving rapid mental math problems, and mastering all of political history...

Sometimes, when their parents went on trips outside the capital, the two children even had to make sure to bring back the famous pastries from the best local shops for them, and every now and then they had to take the blame for the silly messes their parents made.

The cool, reserved Tushan Suiren and the crafty, quick-witted Tushan Shihe would sigh and think to themselves, Ugh, this generation of parents is so hard to keep in line!

Of course, this generation of court officials was also hard to handle!

Every time the two ran into them, they could not stand how overly enthusiastic the officials were. The officials would stare at them with overly affectionate eyes, and even speak in a sugary, cutesy tone that sounded like they had a slipper stuck in their throat.

They would always shove gifts and little local specialties at them, which the two could not turn down no matter how hard they tried, and the officials would never listen when they tried to say no. It was such a headache.

And this generation of common people was also hard to handle.

There was a storyteller in the streets named Mr. Fugui, who loved writing popular tales about the two children. In his stories, the two of them were so powerful they could practically poke a hole through the sky.

And the common people absolutely adored these stories. They went viral far and wide, and people even hung portraits of the two of them in their homes. When a woman in the household got pregnant, they would point at the portraits and hope the baby growing in her belly would turn out just like the Little Emperor and the Little Goddess.

Last time the two of them left the capital, Tushan Shihe and Tushan Suiren were somehow recognized by the crowd. A huge, thronging group of their overzealous fans followed after them, scaring the two so badly they hopped on Rice Bucket and galloped straight back to the palace.

When they got back to the palace, ready to hand the pastries they had bought from Fangruo Pavilion to their parents, they spotted the two familiar figures tangled up in a sweet kiss under a nearby tree.

The two little ones, who had been acting far older than their years since they were toddlers, sighed deeply in unison.

"Father and Mother are at it again, kissing each other."

"Probably that lip-itching ailment of theirs flaring up again. Let them be."

"My hands are getting itchy too. I'm going to go play a game of chess with Grand Tutor Wei."

"Alright, then I'm going to go practice my horse riding."

The two little ones kept their parents' unspoken wish in mind, and turned around to work even harder, so that their father and mother could retire early and enjoy their lives.