Chapter 884: The Great Sun [2]

The faint tremble of his voice drifted through the air.

But I couldn’t care less.

Right...

Yes, I was a fool.

A darn fool. This much I knew and acknowledged.

But I couldn’t help it.

"Right..."

Taking another step forward, I was stopped by the large formation surrounding Noel. I immediately tried to push past it, pressing my hand against the barrier and forcing my way in, but no matter how hard I pushed, the formation refused to budge.

"I can... I can..."

I was struggling to articulate myself.

I couldn’t really think straight. Staring at Noel’s condition, my thoughts refused to settle. His hair was messy, and his eyes looked hazy as he stared at me. I couldn’t even tell if he could actually see me at all.

He looked incredibly skinny as well.

"I-i’m here. I’m here... Noel."

Something boiled within my chest as I stared at the sight.

I wanted to push past the formation and get closer to him.

"Human."

Owl-Mighty’s voice whispered next to my ear, but I once again ignored it.

"Noel, I’m here. I’m here."

The same words left my lips.

The only thing I could think about was Noel.

He was right in front of me.

Finally...

I had finally found him again.

"F-Fool."

His voice reached me again, but I didn’t care for it.

"Yes, yes... I know."

BANG!

I punched the barrier in front of me with all my strength, the red orb appearing in my vision as my strength multiplied.

And yet⎯

BANG!

Nothing happened.

The barrier resisted my strength completely.

I tried again.

BANG! BANG!

But the result was exactly the same.

"Damn it!"

I punched with all my strength again, but nothing changed. It was as if the barrier was impossible to break.

The entire time, Noel stared right at me.

He watched me as I tried desperately to break the barrier and get to him.

"I’ll... get it. Don’t worry."

I didn’t even know when, but I started running out of breath.

I felt pathetic.

No, I was acting pathetic.

This much I knew.

But, but...

"Just... stop."

Noel’s voice reached me once more, but the more he told me to stop, the less I wanted to stop.

[Outer Hand]

The barrier fluctuated the moment I activated the skill. My eyes lit up as I stared at Noel.

"It’s working. It’s..."

But the words stopped the moment I properly looked at him.

He was smiling.

Right, he was smiling.

But something about his smile was off.

I couldn’t quite put it into words, but that simple smile of his took the very breath away from me.

That was the moment my head cooled, and I stopped.

His smile remained as his lips parted.

"...For... an emotive mage, you’re quite emotional."

Half of his words were slurred and hardly audible, but I could still make them out.

My lips trembled, and I lowered my head to stare at my hands.

They were shaking.

"I... know."

He didn’t have to remind me.

I knew all too well. I was a mess, and I understood that perfectly. I also understood that Toren had done something to me. I was not in the right state of mind.

And yet, despite being aware of what I was, I still couldn’t stop myself.

"I’m here. Don’t worry. I’m here."

The same pathetic words escaped my lips.

It was as if I was a broken record. One that could only say the same things.

Haha.

I laughed.

Not at the situation, but at myself.

"...You know that ’he’ allowed you to see me, right?"

The words flowed smoothly from Noel’s mouth, almost as if he’d never been injured to begin with. That was enough to make me stop.

Lifting my head, I thought something had changed, but the sight before me told a completely different story. His entire body was still a mess, and his breathing was thin. He looked like he was on the verge of death, and yet, somehow, he wasn’t.

’Right, he can’t die.’

He can be tortured, but he can’t die.

That was also the moment I noticed his missing arm.

It should’ve been healed by now, but the fact that it hadn’t was enough to show just how bad his state was.

Let alone his heart, which was still missing.

"He is... aware." Noel’s words whispered in the air. "Just like Toren, Dawn’s aware of your weakness. The one hole inside of your heart that you’ll never be able to mend. He’s taking advantage of it, and you fell for it completely. You are... a fool."

That’s not...

My lips quivered as I tried to deny him.

But the moment I tried to, I realized rather quickly that I couldn’t.

I really wanted to refute him, but I couldn’t.

I just...

"I’m your weakness."

I shook my head.

"The hole in your heart."

I shook my head again.

"...And the curse in your life. I⎯"

"No."

I stopped Noel before he could continue, my hand glowing a faint white as I used [Outer Hand] once more.

The thin membrane covering the screen trembled violently in response.

"You’re not a curse."

I looked at Noel straight in the eyes.

A sharp pain pierced through my chest the moment I looked at him, my expression nearly crumbling before his very eyes. But I held it in. I couldn’t show it to him. I couldn’t show this pathetic image of mine to my little brother.

This was something that I’d never allow myself to do.

"You think that because I’ve suffered for you, my life would be better without you."

Noel said nothing, but his smile said it all.

I watched him for a moment before continuing.

"Maybe it would be easier. Right... it probably would. But since when was ease the measure of a life? What meaning would there be in living if all I ever did was choose the path that asked the least of me? When did you decide that an easier life was the same as a better one?"

"...Because all it does is lead to suffering. For both you and me. If... If I never had gotten this power, then... you, you..."

"I know."

His expression tightened, but I kept looking at him.

"But aren’t I suffering because I care?"

I paused before adding.

"I suffer because I care."

"....."

"I do the things that I have because I care."

I betrayed the other gods.

I planned for all of this to happen.

People died because of my actions. Thousands, if not more.

All because of my selfishness.

"...I am not a good guy."

This much was true.

"I am... just an older brother looking out for his younger brother."

My voice cracked before I knew it.

That was the part he never seemed to consider.

He could see everything it cost me to reach him. Every step I had to take backward. He counted them all, until there was nothing left of him in his own eyes except the trouble he caused me.

But wasn’t it the same thing for him?

I could see just how much he sacrificed for me. I wasn’t blind to the things that he did for me.

Waiting for so many years, listening to the crazy things that I told him in the past.

"You see everything that I go through, but so do I."

I looked at Noel straight in the eyes.

"I’m not blind to what’s in front of me. You’re allowed to wish things had been different. So do I. But you keep calling yourself a curse, as though every choice I’ve made for you was something you forced upon me. As though my will had no part in any of it."

It’s not.

Never.

"...I’m holding you back."

"Even if you were, so what?"

Noel looked up.

I spoke before he could.

"You keep saying that you’re holding me back. That you’re a chain I need to get rid of."

My voice grew quieter.

"But you’ve never asked what I want to do with my life. What my life means to me."

His lips parted, though nothing came out.

My voice did.

"I don’t think you understand. A chain doesn’t only bind someone. Sometimes, it’s the only thing keeping them from drifting away. And as much as you bind me... you’re also the reason I haven’t lost myself."

I held his gaze.

"You’re my brother. When I think about the life I’m trying to reach, you’re still in it."

I clenched my teeth as the barrier shook even harder.

Mana drained rapidly from my body, but I paid it no mind and continued pouring more into [Outer Hand] until the trembling spread through the chamber itself, a faint rumbling echoing through the surroundings.

Rumble! Rumble!

I could feel the barrier starting to give way, small gaps forming across its surface as I maintained eye contact with Noel.

"...I’m not letting go. Never."

Never.

"At some point, you need to learn to let go."

"Not with you."

Never.

Cra Crack!

Cracks started to form around the barrier.

The surroundings trembled even more. I didn’t care and just looked at Noel.

The surroundings fell silent as Noel opened his lips, only to close them again. He repeated the motion several times, as though there was too much he wanted to say and no strength left to say any of it.

Eventually, he stopped and just looked at me.

The smile returned.

"...Alright."

I smiled back at him.

"Right, that’s how it should be."

BANG!

The barrier shattered, and I didn’t even bother looking back. I immediately moved toward Noel, using [Outer Hand] to tear apart the chains restraining him.

Breaking the chains, Noel remained quiet.

"I’m almost there. Just wait a bit."

"...Alright."

Cra Crack!

Cracks spread across the chains before they finally shattered. I moved from one restraint to the next, breaking everything that bound Noel before crouching in front of him and turning my back.

"Come. We have to go."

Noel pressed his only hand behind my back and got on.

He was light. Incredibly light.

Light to the point where I had to double-check to ensure it was really him that was on me.

Only once I was certain Noel was secure on my back did I straighten and look toward the passage I’d come from.

Despite everything I’d done, Dawn had yet to appear.

It was almost as if he had forgotten about me.

My thoughts were broken by a sudden whisper.

"Whatever you remember about him... forget it."

Something about the whisper made the air around me contract, as though the surroundings themselves had suddenly been stripped of breath.

I didn’t move.

Neither did Noel.

His eyes remained fixed on me, but there was something strange about the way he looked. Something that made the back of my neck slowly stiffen.

His lips parted.

"In here, he’s not human."

His voice dropped.

Almost instinctively, I held my breath.

"He’s the sun."

"....."

Silence filled the space.

For a moment, Noel’s eyes lost focus. His gaze drifted somewhere beyond me, as if he were looking at something I couldn’t see.

Something far away.

Or perhaps something he didn’t want to remember.

Then his lips moved again.

"The Great Sun."

The words fell quietly.

"He’s the Great Sun."

Ding!

As if reacting to the words, a notification appeared before my eyes.

One I was all too familiar with.

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