A journey through the universes

Chapter 92: Buttocks

In the corner of the restaurant, at a table bursting with viands, our quartet was sitting with a cheerful, warm atmosphere.

Tetsuya and Orochimaru ate calmly when Jiraya turned so that it only cracked behind the ears… Akimichi’s illegitimate son.

But Tsuna was not very happy, judging by her boring expression. – I don’t think it’s very tasty…

From what he heard, Jirai formed a strained smile – It’s very tasty, Tsuna. Still, this is one of the best restaurants of the Akimichi clan. In my opinion, Tetsuya just spoiled you with his daily cooking. –

Tsuna calmly looked at the irritated Jiraya. Slowly, a teasing, slightly arrogant smile formed on her face. – Oh, my God… Do I hear envy in your voice? –

This struck the pervert right in the heart. Without denying anything, he answered with fervor, in righteous anger. – yes! Because it’s just not fair, Tsunade! We can try his cooking once a month, due to the fact that he only cooks for us on missions! And now even less often, since the Jonins have fewer of these same missions! And there are even fewer joint ones! –

– Ho-ho, what a pity … – she covered her arrogant, extremely satisfied smile.

Veins bulged on Jirai’s face… even Orochimaru looked at the blonde with displeasure.

Seeing the unfolding situation, Tetsuya thought for a second. The insidious thoughts in his head came to one conclusion.

– “This is an ideal situation for the first step in my plan.” – he thought, and then with a sweet, even innocent smile said – No need to quarrel guys. Tomorrow I’m going to finish my studies with Mito-san, which means that from tomorrow I will stop cooking for sensei. In general, soon you will be on equal terms. –

It would seem like a simple phrase “I’m going to graduate”, but what effect does it have?

The table instantly quieted down. You could hear each other’s heartbeats. Orochimaru, Jiraya and Tsunade froze, absolutely not moving.

And if the guys froze from shock and surprise, then the girl froze from shock, fear and even despair.

The guys were the first to leave. Their eyes sparkled with amusement and contentment. Jirai had a bright, joyful, teasing smile on her lips. Oh, how they were enjoying this little revenge right now.

On the other hand, Tsunade still hasn’t recovered from the shock. The girl seemed to have become a lifeless sculpture. The only thing that said that she was alive was her wide-open eyes in which despair splashed.

Without waiting for the blonde’s reaction, Jiraya turned around and called the waiter. – Hey! May I have you! We need a jug of the most expensive sake! – then turning back with amusement in his voice, he continued – What joyful news! We should celebrate the end of your training, Tetsuya! Oh, there are so many reasons today that it would be a sin not to drink! –

“Just to give you a reason, Jiraya. – said Orochimaru without looking at the white-headed, and he, in turn, ignored what was said, as if he had not heard anything at all.

Finally, the blonde came back to life. Barely holding back a scream, she asked, with an ocean of emotions on her face – K-k-how do you finish your training!? Why?! –

Tetsuya, looking at the girl’s face filled with panic and despair, humbly said. – Tsunade, what do you mean, how? I just picked up all of your grandmother’s fuin skills and that’s why I’m finishing my training. In fact, it should have happened much, much earlier, but I decided to bring my fuinjutsu to perfection by training with Mito-san. –

This finally confirmed to Tsunade that what was happening was not her nightmare. She even pinched herself under the table hoping that it was all a bad dream, but the reality turned out to be too cruel.

At this moment, even Jiraya and Orochimaru, who enjoyed revenge, felt sympathy for the blonde. She looked so pathetic right now. Why, even Tetsuya could barely restrain himself not to caress this saddened darling.

At this time, Tsuna’s thoughts were far away. – “God, this is so unpleasant… But Tetsuya will only stop cooking and doing massage on a daily basis… And what… What happens if someone steals it?… What then?… I won’t let you! This is war! No one dares to steal it from me!” her eyes blazed with a fighting spirit.

Seeing that Tsunade was back to normal, the guys relaxed, but Tetsuya noticed the burning gaze of the girl, directed into the distance, which sometimes jumped to him. “It’s certainly good that Tsunade was able to accept what was said earlier, but… but what kind of look is that? I hope it’s not a yandere mod.” –

The hero’s thoughts were interrupted by a waiter who brought sake.

– Please, our best sake. – he said, putting the jug on the table, and then left.

– Well, well! Let’s drink to your “graduation”! The white–headed man exclaimed, picking up the jug.

– Eh, isn’t there something more pleasant to the taste? – the hero asked, smelling the smell of alcohol brought and imagining its taste. – In the end, sake can have a pleasant taste, Jiraya. –

The white-headed man froze for a second. Then his face took on an intelligent, mysterious look, as if he was a wise old hermit who wandered around the world in order to learn the true meaning of life. – Tetsuya, alcohol should be tasteless, not accepted and even bitter, like life itself… –

– I don’t know, I’m not complaining about life, I like delicious alcohol more. Tetsuya said, looking at Jiraya as if he was an idiot, and then called the waiter and ordered a “sweet” sake.

Jiraya accompanied all these actions with a sour, disapproving look. He even shook his head, not approvingly. His whole posture just screamed: “Eh, the current youth doesn’t know anything about drinking.”

– Don’t look at me like that, otherwise I will deprive you of a unique opportunity to try my cooking. –

In an instant, the toad summoner changed his posture to a much more “interested” one. – What kind of opportunity? –

– Who should I kill? – Orochimaru echoed him, that with an extremely serious face he was getting kunai.

Tsunade didn’t say anything, but everyone knew perfectly well from her look that she was also interested.

– Cool down. Is my cooking worth someone’s life? Tetsuya said with a smile, but after looking into their serious gazes, he realized that he was worth it. – Well, in general, I decided to arrange a mini-tournament at our training sessions, where the winner will receive a daily set of food from me. Naturally, I will not take part, as this is stupid, and it will increase the complexity to “impossible”. –

On the faces of Jirai, Orochimaru and Tsunade, a slightly maniacal smile with a fighting passion grew. – This is a very interesting idea. – they said unanimously.

– As I thought, you found this idea very much to your liking. The details will be in training tomorrow, but for now let’s enjoy the evening. – the hero finished with a smile, pouring sake. – For us, guys. –

– For us! –

Some time later.

Already a little tipsy guys, relaxed chatted about all sorts of things.

Jiraya and Orochimaru did not forget about Tsunade’s request, but they were stalling for time when Tetsuya would be in a more compliant state.

They got him drunk, they got him drunk, and they got him drunk again, but he looked absolutely sober.

Suddenly, Orochimaru realized what a huge mistake they had made. Even with his coolness, he barely restrained himself from slapping himself in the face.

– Oh, I’m sorry, I need to go to the bathroom. – said the hero, leaving the table.

As soon as he disappeared around the corner, Orochi said softly, in a sad tone. – Tsunade, Jiraiya, our plan is just stupid, it won’t work. –

– What is it? Whitehead asked, not understanding.

– Jiraya. We made a mistake in the most important thing, we tried to get drunk a man who can fight for seven days and nights. –

Slowly, the faces of Tsuna and Jirai acquired a surprised expression with sour notes, but Orochi continued. – Besides, in my opinion, he sobers up faster than he gets drunk. And even if he got drunk, it would be easy for a man of his level to detoxify. –

Jiraya couldn’t stand it and slapped his face. – Oh, my God! How could we be so blunt?! –

– Well, actually it was your idea, so…–

– A? Tsuna, are you blaming everything on me? –

“Well, she’s right. Orochi said, not looking into Jirae’s eyes.

– And you go there too. – the white-headed man grumbled with resentment.

– Okay, okay, that’s enough. Now that we have found out that soldering Tetsuya is stupid, there is no choice but to ask directly. –

– Yes, you’re right, Tsunade. And… what were we supposed to ask? Scratching his head, the toad summoner asked confusedly.

If it was possible to kill with a look, then Tsuna would have killed the pervert in a second. To be more precise, she would not have killed, but incinerated. – Jiraya. – she said, with an animal note in her voice.

The defendant quickly hid behind Orochimaru and sticking his head out, asked with fear – What? –

Tsunade, in the most “insinuating” tone, said – You should ask Tetsui what he likes about girls. Is that clear? –

– Of course, I understand. Everything is clear. Let’s ask now. Here comes Tetsuya! –

The last sentence worked like a spell. Hearing him, Tsuna instantly turned back into a cute girl.

The white–headed man, wiping sweat from his forehead, thought: “God, but I was once in love with you. It’s good that you rejected me. Being a bachelor is very, very good.” –

– Phew, there was a small queue. Well, what else? – he was shaking a jug of sake.

– No, no. I think that’s enough. Listen, Tetsuya, what do you like about girls? Jiraiya asked with a wide smile.

Orochimaru and Tsunade mentally screamed at how tactfully the pervert asked the question. “Jiraya, you idiot!” –

– Hmm? Why such a question? Tetsuya asked innocently, analyzing the reaction of his comrades out of the corner of his eye.

– Yes, for nothing, just a thought stuck in my head, so I voiced it. He spoke with a strained smile, under the sharp gazes of Tsuna and Orochi.

Tetsuya instantly figured out the plan of his comrades. He didn’t even have to use the Emperor’s Eyes and the Imperial Zone.

“Tsuna–chan is starting to take bolder steps. This will play into my hands, too.”– he thought with a smile about his plan to incline the blonde to the harem.

Making a thoughtful face, he asked aloud, “What do I like about girls?” –

– Yes, yes. For example, I like big breasts. –

– Of course I don’t mind answering, but Jiraiya, don’t you think it’s ugly to discuss this in front of Tsunade, after all, she’s a girl… I don’t think she’d like to hear that. – the hero said innocently, laughing inwardly.

Tsuna’s face contorted for a moment, after which she hurriedly said with a smile, “I don’t mind, I don’t mind. On the contrary, as a captain, it will be useful for me to know your tastes. –

– Yes? And why? –

– Well… uh. – Tsunade thought hard and looked for help with her eyes from Jirai and Orochimaru, but in vain.

Suddenly, a brilliant idea flew through her head. Firmly grasping this idea, the blonde voiced it. – It’s elementary Tetsuya! If I know your tastes, then as a captain I can protect you from the temptation of enemy kunoichi. –

Now Jiraya, along with Orochimaru, mentally slapped themselves in the face, from this ridiculous excuse.

Even Tetsuya had to put a little effort into not laughing.

– I see. Why only me? Everything is clear with Jiraya, but what about Orochimaru? –

– Ah, well … – Tsuna did not have time to get into a dead end again, as Jiraya came to her aid, who, sitting down closer to Orochi, hugged him in a friendly way, asked. – Orochi! And I don’t know anything about your tastes either! Come on, tell me, what makes your snake tremble? –

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Jiraya… –

– Yeah, come on, Orochi. Well, tell me. – with a vulgar smile, the white-headed man asked, but the answer made his smile become stiff and strained.

“Well, to begin with, Jiraya, I’m not interested in women… –

In an instant, Jiraya “teleported” away from Orochimaru by two meters.

“But I’m not attracted to men either. – he finished, which caused a relieved exhalation from the toad summoner.

– That is? – the hero asked with interest.

– Well, I noticed it a long time ago. I am not interested in sexual intercourse and other similar intimacies. Although the thought of kissing a man or a woman does not disgust me, as well as desire. –

For a while, the table became quiet. Tetsuya, Jiraya, and Tsuna felt sorry for Orochi one way or another, even though he didn’t think he deserved her.

– Okay – the bald–headed man broke the silence – Tetsuya, now it’s your turn –

– OK. I, like any guy, like beautiful and cute girls. –

– Stop! It’s too vague! No useful information! Tsuna exclaimed with displeasure.

– What can I do? I like everything about girls. From face to feet. Everything is important. –

– But… but there must be something special? – the blonde persisted, not realizing at all that she was giving herself away.

– Well, there is such a thing. Tetsuya replied cryptically.

– What is it? – the girl asked with interest and fervor.

– Buttocks. –

– what? Buttocks? –

– Yeah. –

Jiraya broke into the conversation, saying with a bawdy, joyful smile and an intelligent look, “Tetsuya, I didn’t know you were a real connoisseur! We have something to talk to you about! Although I am a connoisseur of the “front”, but the “rear” has also always occupied a considerable place in my super-disgusting heart. –

Well, then Jiraya and Tetsuya began to share their thoughts and observations about the beautiful half of humanity … and Tsunade secretly wrote it all down in a notebook.

Looking at all this, Orochimaru, eating stewed meat, thought – “And this, do I still deserve pity?” –

*****

The next day, Tetsuya came to Mito and said that he was going to finish his studies with her. Jinchuriki easily accepted it, saying: “You should have finished it a long time ago.”.

And yet, Mito still gave the hero an extremely difficult “graduation” test on seals, or rather extremely difficult for normal people, but not for Tetsui.

And so, while our hero was somewhere in the middle of the test, an unexpected thing happened.

The woman’s gaze became distracted. Her whole body stiffened a little.

Finally, gripping her kimono tightly, Mito said as much as possible in this situation. “Tetsuya… you’re my son. –