Chapter 100 The Trap of Our Own Making

"I know you’d never let me hold your hand..." Elian murmured and walked toward his door, making sure his body didn’t touch Lucien’s.

​Lucien slowly turned, watching Elian’s slim fingers on the door handle.

​"Elian, I need you to stop trying to understand me. It doesn’t matter how much you love or care about me, I’ll never do the same to you... I’m simply incapable," Lucien said in a low tone.

​Elian lifted his gaze to Lucien, his lips curling up in a small smile, "I know... trust me, I’m on the process of unloving you."

​Lucien frowned. That didn’t sound right at all. But, that was what he asked for, right? He didn’t just realize that it would be happening soon.

​"Good, then. Stay out of mine and Rowena’s way. You should be glad I still let you live freely," he said, fists clenching in unknown anger.

​Elian smiled sadly, nodding, "I know you don’t care to look into what happened to me. But, just before my hand got pulled away from hers, I did see it in her memories too..." he paused, watching Lucien for a few moments before tearing his eyes away from the devil.

​He should never have thought such a cold man could have love inside him.

​"The man from the tavern..." Elian murmured.

​Lucien frowned, walking closer to the door, to Elian.

​"The man from the tavern?" Lucien asked slowly.

​Elian nodded, "Rowena... she has a spy in your manor, Your Grace... I didn’t see who. But, the day we left, her spy followed us and told her about the man who hated me so much and wanted me dead. She thought using the man to kill me would be easier..." he explained.

​"She got herself shot to shift the suspicion from herself. Just know... your wife has a mole on you, Your Grace." Elian informed.

​Lucien frowned hard. Now, this was information he could not ignore.

​"Did she see? The cabin?" he asked quietly, gritting his teeth.

​Elian chuckled dryly, "So you do remember the cabin?" He locked his searching gaze on Lucien’s green eyes.

​Lucien looked away, refusing to get trapped in those beautiful blue eyes. "Answer my question, Elian," he muttered.

​Elian sighed, shaking his head, "No. Her mole only informed her about the man. My search was interrupted, remember?" He asked with an arched brow.

​"That is why she showed up unannounced." Lucien mumbled.

​"What?" Elian frowned, not quietly making out what Lucien said.

​Lucien shook his head, "Just... stay away from Rowena... please." His tone softened in the end.

​Elian nodded, "I understand. I want no drama, too. I will just spend my time burying my stupid feelings for a man I should never have loved in the first place," he said, looking at the floor.

​"In a few days, I’ll be back to hating you as I should. Goodbye, Lucien, and, happy engagement." He stood aside and pulled the door open, his eyes rooted to the floor.

​Lucien didn’t move. The urge to slam that door shut and slam his lips against Elian was suddenly too strong, too compelling. Maybe because deep down, he never truly wanted Elian to stop loving him; he never wanted Elian to stop wanting him.

​He was pushing away the only genuine affection he’d ever had, and for what? For some political intrigue.

​He gulped, unable to control his body anymore. He reached out, his hand going to the door to push it shut.

​"Your Grace, Lord Cassian is here," a maid suddenly appeared in front of the door and bowed her head.

​Lucien cursed under his breath, his glove tightening on his hands as he clenched them so tightly in restraint.

​He was suddenly so uncomfortable with Cassian’s arrival.

​"Go. I will be with him shortly," he commanded the maid.

​She bowed and scurried away.

​Elian’s eyes widened as he saw Lucien suddenly closing the door without leaving.

​"W-what are you doing?" Elian asked, pressing his back to the wall as Lucien closed in on him.

​Lucien placed his hand on the wall beside Elian’s head, his throat bobbing up and down, "He is here... Cassian," he murmured huskily, his eyes raking all over Elian’s face.

​Elian gulped, nodding, "Yes, the lady just said so." He blinked in confusion.

​"You’re excited to see him?" Lucien questioned, his tone getting dark.

​Elian suddenly paused, slowly realizing what was happening with Lucien.

​He chuckled in disbelief, straightening to face Lucien squarely. "You are not allowed, Your Grace..." he frowned, "You are not allowed to be jealous of me when I mean nothing to you—"

​"Shut up," Lucien warned. He could not control his rage; his mind kept replying and replaying the moment Cassian had kissed Elian right in front of him, and he was losing it.

​"I am not your concern anymore. Stop concerning yourself with what I might do with other men—"

​"I said, shut up..." His gloved hand covered over Elian’s mouth, his face leaning so close his breath jammed Elian’s face.

​Elian’s brows furrowed as he stared at Lucien in anger and hope. Maybe his jealousy had made him realize he loved Elian?

​"You will not be speaking to Cassian. Do you understand?" Lucien ordered.

​Elian gently removed Lucien’s hand from his mouth, tears forming in his eyes, "You’re not being fair to me. I’m human, Lucien; perhaps you don’t need love, but I do... I need someone to talk to, someone to laugh with, have a life with. You’re not that someone, yet you’re stopping me from ever finding that someone... you’re not being fair to me," he said, holding his tears back from falling.

​Lucien gritted his teeth, Elian’s words stabbing him right in his heart. Someone to love, to laugh with, to talk to, and to have a life with... and he wasn’t that someone.

​To hell with all that. He didn’t care if Elian hated him forever, but over his dead body would he let Elian go off to have a life without him, a life where he can’t see or know what Elian was doing... over his dead body.

​"You don’t need all that, Elian... your place is right here, in this manor... forever," Lucien whispered huskily, his gloved thumb caressing Elian’s delicate jaw.

​Elian frowned, his chest heaving with anger, "I swear to the heavens, I will kill you, Lu—"

​Lucien shot forward, cutting Elian off mid-sentence with a brutal, heart-wrenching kiss. He slammed their mouths together with raw desperation, as if the threat had ignited something feral inside him. There was no tenderness — only hunger, anger, and a terrifying depth of need that Lucien could no longer deny.

​Elian betrayed himself instantly. Even though every rational part of him screamed to push Lucien away, to slap him, to run — his body yielded completely.

​He moaned into the kiss, his hands fisting in Lucien’s shirt as he kissed back just as desperately, their tongues clashing, teeth nipping. Tears slipped down his cheeks, hot and silent, even as his lips parted wider and his body arched into Lucien’s.

​The kiss was messy, bruising, and filled with everything they refused to say. Elian’s heart shattered a little more with every second — this man would never love him the way he needed, yet here he was, melting under his touch like he always did. His tears fell faster, mixing between their lips, but he couldn’t stop. He clung tighter, kissing Lucien like it was the last time, because deep down he feared it might be.

​Lucien growled low against his mouth, one gloved hand cupping the back of Elian’s neck to hold him in place while the other gripped his waist hard enough to bruise. He devoured Elian like a starving man, tasting the salt of his tears and the sweetness of his surrender.

​When they finally broke apart, both were breathing raggedly. Lucien’s forehead pressed against Elian’s, his green eyes dark and stormy.

​"You will not kill me," Lucien whispered hoarsely, his thumb brushing away a tear from Elian’s cheek. "And you will not leave me. Not for Cassian. Not for anyone."

​Elian’s voice cracked, fresh tears spilling. "You don’t get to decide that... not when you keep breaking me."

​Lucien’s jaw tightened. Slowly, he pulled away. The storm between them raged hotter than ever, pulling them deeper into a dangerous dance neither could escape.

​The tension between them had reached a breaking point, and neither man was willing to let go.

​"Stay away from Cassian," Lucien murmured and yanked the door open, stepping out of the room.

​Elian did not bother to shut his door; he slid to the ground and cried... he cried for himself, for he had just realized there was no way in hell he was ever unloving Lucien.

​He was in some kind of trap, a trap where the way to his freedom was right in front of him, yet he chose to stay put and see if the trap could either set him free itself or stop hurting him.

​He was a fool, and his foolishness was going to lead to his demise.