Chapter 619: Ragebaiters.

“Rest in peace, Donut. May your soul shine as bright as you did in life.”

“Sis… how could you leave before me? What about our streams? Our stage performances? It’s just too cruel to have your light dim this young.”

“… Yes, rest in peace, little sister.”

… Ooooooh, your necks are fucking broken once I’m done for the day!

Yet, I couldn’t do anything as I lay on my bed, shaking through gritted teeth as both my mind and body were being ravaged by my uncontrollable mana. My skin had turned so sickly purple that it made me look like an alien from some Sci-Fi flick, and this wasn’t even mentioning my bloodshot eyes. [Mana Stress] was making it quite hard to sleep, but the real reason for my insomnia was what was going on in my head; to be more specific, my mind and Hikari.

‘Kraaaaaaaah!’ Hikari screamed like a harpy as she trampled around like a maddened beast, swinging her mental wings and tails similar to how she was taught to fight as a Nordor dragonkin.

[Arcane Fever] and [Mana Stress] were just the result of me draining my mana as I trained with Father, though the question was why, right? Why would I intentionally drain all my mana, when my true ice training never required me to go to zero? Well, ‘cause Father wanted me to self-harm until everything about me was screaming in my head to take a chill pill.

Some people might call me a masochist, and I agree! Self-harm to level up skills was common sense to me, as that was the only effective way to train resistances or battle-only skills. Father agreed with me, and he was even an advocate of this training method… but it seemed I had underestimated how Father even got this strong in the first place. No, it was more like I never gave it much thought since I barely ever interacted with him.

“You are to undergo a trial harder than any before. One I would not push on my other children, but as you and Hikari have managed to prevent yourself from biting my tail for over one bell, I have decided we needed to make it harder. Here.” I remembered him giving me a bottle of wine on the second day after we started training. When I looked at him as if he had lost his mind, he smiled and pulled out another bottle. “‘Drinks Much Wine! A new, but quite potent, brand.’”

“… I thought dragonkin didn’t drink since we can’t digest it too well.”

“Nonsense. I am sure your mother and her head retainers drink.”

“They drink it out of celebration, but I’ve seen them drink during Mom’s birthday. They don’t handle it well. None of the attendees did, so the servants had to monitor each glass they served carefully.”

“Then you didn’t look properly! Yes, we can’t digest alcohol well, but the taste is what matters, no?”

Since it was a subjective matter, I kept any remarks to myself. In any case, what Father gave me wasn’t wine, but a potion he had commissioned for my training. A [Body-Mind Warping Potion], it was called, and it was another of those positive-but-actually-negative brews that people used for surgeries or other procedures to avoid skills like [Abnormal Status Nullification].

That 500% was why this potion wasn’t used in combat, if it wasn’t obvious enough. Even a warrior couldn’t use it since coating your weapon in your mana was an easy way to increase your damage through [Mana Strike]. Some Abilities even used mana to activate, like my draconic ones.

If you used this and accidentally used mana in any way, you would quickly end up at zero mana with [Mana Stress], and if you overused it with a high mana capacity, [Arcane Fever] would greet you. Furthermore, Father mentioned how you needed specific ingredients from Marsh Nest to synthesize this potion, so common use was impossible with its price tag. It would just be cheaper and simpler to ask a holy mage or dragon to grant you a white grace.

So, why did Father give this to me?

“I want you to drink it. The potion is highly intoxicating, almost like a numbing potion. Once the effect is applied, I want you to spend your mana similarly to your true ice training—just treat it as such with Tasianna—and do so while Hikari and you are trying to keep yourself composed. You will be dealing with multiple factors that will break your mind, will, and determination. Difficult, right? How are you supposed to unfetter yourself with all these stimuli? Find it out.”

… One week of training with Father made me want to go back to Mom, especially since, unlike her training, [Battle Frenzy] didn’t lead to any substantial stat gain or skill levels. All my mental-related skills were maxed out already, so I had hit my limit when it came to my mental tolerance.

Even my true ice training showed promise over time due to my resistance against Tasianna’s true ice attacks. My hands and scales wouldn’t freeze as quickly, and I even learned a countermeasure to it when Mom taught me to checkerboard my scales to create multiple layers of defence.

That was why it felt so fulfilling to do despite having to do it every day for a month. Even without the System drowning me with System messages to report on my progress, I still felt the dopamine fill me up. This… not so much. It was more tiring and mentally suffocating.

And then, when Neill finally arrived at the Dungeon, bringing along Uriahn and Taim, despite his reluctance, Father had my siblings do the one thing I didn’t need with all this irritation boiling inside me.

“Tease her.”

That was all he needed to say for Vifi and Neill to smile like the devil himself. Father didn’t mention Vifi, but that girl jumped on me as if I were a stack of donuts. Honestly, what have I done to deserve a friend and sister like these two idiots? Did they think I wouldn’t jump at them and wring their necks out and swing them like a guitar?

“You attack anybody but me, and I will make sure to add a few more hours of this per day,” Father warned me, keeping my trembling heart still and my eyes wet with tears.

The world truly hated me like a stain.

“… If this makes you feel better, our training wasn’t any better. Reliving traumas, childhood failure, and also enduring the constant nagging and expectations of the elder scales. That’s the entire reason for the wrath stage—you need to know how to calm down, even in the face of death, arcane corruption, and the loss of loved ones,” Taim explained. He was the only one who wasn’t trying to kill me with a headache. “We dragonkin are engines of war, and that is especially the case for us Kargryxmor. If you wish to tap into our bloodline’s full potential, you must train, even if it doesn’t show any results. One week? Pah. Try a year of this.”

“Sheesh, why can’t you play along for a moment, Brother?” Neill scowled, treating Taim like a party pooper. However, seeing him keep that tired look of his, she sighed. “Sis, remember when I told you about my own [Battle Frenzy] training, or that one time you entered [Battle Frenzy (Moderate)] and nearly blew up Renee’s wagon?”

Gulping to clear my throat, I recalled my first meeting with Renee and Rita and nodded.

“Back then, I told you that entering the moderate phase so quickly wasn’t normal, since we were only dealing with the second step. Father figured that part out quickly before we came, I presume. That’s why he decided to change your entire training process and add this to the menu. You’re too composed now, so the only way for you to pass wrath is to actually hold in the anger.”

Taim nodded. “You already suppressed your past traumas—”

‘Akrrraaaaaaaaaaah! Shut up!’ Hikari shouted in my head.

“—What you need to deal with are the future ones,” Taim finished, although he was barely audible to me as Hikari was starting to break down from holding [Battle Frenzy (Major)] for nearly an hour now.

“Like how you eye elder scales you don’t know,” Vifi chimed in, probably talking about how Quasdrakeen was living rent-free in my head. “Wrath is all about expre—”

‘Make it fucking stop already, Hestia! STOOOPPPPPPPP!’

“—ssing the emotions you feel, regardless of whether it’s happiness or envy or whatever. You need to keep it in. Just take me as an exampl—”

‘Kraaaaaaaagk! Arrrrghhhhhh!’

Tssshhhhhhh… haaaaaaaaa. Hikari, keep it together. My head is already killing me, so don’t do it as well.

“—e. You ever see me get mad mad outside of battles? Even then, do I go crazy with anger? You learn to keep it under wraps, or you’ll get soldiers to throw your lifeless body to the rats.”

It was too noisy. My ears were hearing what all of them were saying, but I couldn’t register any of the information in a productive manner. I just wanted to punch their mouths shut. I really didn’t want to hear all that grating talking.

“‘Fear’ is just another reason for you to get angry. What we’re doing is juvenile, sure, but if you want to maintain your sanity when you reach envy and pride, then you need to go, as you said, ‘zen mode.’ No need for you to reach the same wall I did in envy, right?” Neill cheered me on, allowing me to distract myself from Hikari’s constant shouting in my head. “Though that probably won’t work right now. You’re about to bite my head off, right?”

I nodded, slamming my head on the stone bed I was lying on, causing cracks to form as I released my anger through destruction. It was only minor, but the catharsis of knowing how hard my skull was already made me feel calmer.

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“Tasianna! She’s had enough! Shay! Beth! Come cool her down,” Neill shouted as the three moved away for the ice trio to come rushing at me, covering me up in the twins’ wings while Tasianna forced my mouth open to pour fulinoe tea into my throat.

Grrrppf! It felt like I was drowning, ready to cough up all the sweet-tasting tea, but she kept any of the liquid from entering my mouth with a little [Aerokinesis], just as she had done plenty of times before during this training. My coughing reflex was a false positive.

Sadly, despite knowing they were helping me, my irritation had reached a point that I couldn’t accept any of this. Like an off day where even small acts of good would gnaw on my mind, the stress blew up, and I was about to punch Tasianna, when Shay slammed his winged arms on my shoulders, freezing my back on the stone. I was still sane enough not to activate [Dreadflare Aura], thankfully.

After what felt like an eternity, my quivering arms finally stopped, and my body could rest on the stone bed as if it were made out of clouds. My vision blurred as my eyelids kept slamming against each other, unable to keep themselves open. Seeing this, Tasianna stopped helping me drink and called for everybody to stop, breaking the ice frozen on my back.

I wanted to sleep so badly, but frustration started swelling up in my chest again, although instead of wanting to hit everybody around me, I only felt frustration for myself. [Battle Frenzy (Major)] had stopped, and Hikari had gone to sleep, but it felt like I was angrier than before.

“How long?” I asked, prompting Taim to come over.

“Almost two bells. At least you’re improving this time.”

“By how much?” I forced myself to say, keeping my wish to cheer to myself.

“… Ahem, four minutes, if we go by the clock function.”

After a week of training, I was able to keep myself composed enough for two hours. Certainly, it was better than when I started it, but all of this was done while I was lying on a bed, in a safe environment. A battle was a clash of emotions as well. I would have broken far earlier, meaning [Battle Frenzy (Major)] was still unusable in an extended battle.

It looked like progress, although at the same time, it felt like false results. After all, what did all of this matter, if Father didn’t want to fight me? Or if I couldn’t fight against anybody in this state?

“Not yet.”

And as if he could read my mind, I heard that guy’s voice coming from behind me. I turned my body, feeling my muscles aching from all the shivering I did, and rested my head on the side while using my horns to arc my head towards a robed man slowly, and soundlessly, walking up to me.

“You aren’t ready yet.”

… Is this how martial arts students feel when some robed old man comes up and says the most cryptic shit ever?

I held my tongue. I knew better than to let my frustration out through words. This training was still ongoing, even if I wasn’t using [Battle Frenzy (Major)]. As everybody already said, the intent was to “unfetter myself from my emotions.”

“How do you know that, and why aren’t you explaining it?” I asked as calmly as possible.

“Certain milestones can be understood like a snap! Isn’t that exactly how you mastered gluttony? A moment of random enlightenment after talking with your mother. You just understood it, right? That is exactly what wrath, envy, and pride ask of you. This is why it takes so long to master [Battle Frenzy], as every whelpling will face a ‘blockade’ in the mind.”

“Mine is envy, remember? Took me years after the start of my pilgrimage to find the answer, and it only came when we met,” Neill reminded me. “On the other hand, pride was so easy; it felt like I had wasted years with envy. It just clicks.”

“Father, a tip should be doable, no?” Taim spoke up for me, but Father shook his head.

“No need to coddle her. She is capable enough, and what if she can’t master wrath in time? She need not fight in the upcoming conflict.”

Way to say that my participant wouldn’t change the tide of the battle, Father. I sighed and rolled onto my back, feeling my tail and wings digging into my back. Yet I kept this pose as if it were normal, feeling too exhausted to get into a comfortable position to rest.

“Fret not. You are making progress, daughter. You might not feel it because it feels different from how you usually train your [Battle Frenzy], but daily ‘anger management’ is needed to master this step. To do twice the effort tomorrow by exempting today is to endure twice the damage to body and soul without rest,” he said, feeling like an actual mentor there. “Take a break for now. Your meeting with the Abyssal Warden shall happen inside your subspace at dinner time. I shall hunt something scrumptious today.”

With that said, Father departed like the wind, going out to hunt for his children and their friends. However, considering my interactions with him this last week, it was more that he was hunting for himself and shared it with his children and guests, so he wouldn’t eat all alone. My old man would also drink a lot, so his drunk self was a pretty common sight.

Never thought an alco—sorry, a ‘wine enjoyer’ was the biggest indulgence Father would allow himself. At least he was a calm drunkard. Barely ever shouts.

Leaving Father to his fun, I let out an even louder sigh, this time even releasing steam through my mouth as if a fire had just been extinguished. Seeing me like this, Vifi patted me on the shoulder, as if to console me.

“The four of us will be going back to hunting. Beth almost made it to level 45, so get ready for an evolution session later this week,” she said before the four of them left, leaving behind two still-hot teapots full of fulinoe tea.

Those traitors… I grumbled, almost regretting telling Tasianna to live her life more, instead of restricting herself to being my maid.

“Don’t look like that. You have your way of training, and they have theirs. Killing some monsters for Job experience won’t help you right now. Maintaining [Battle Frenzy (Major)] is more significant when we speak of stat increase,” Taim said as he poured me a cup of tea, helping me drink it with a metal drinking straw. Warm and refreshing for my mouth and mind.

“Listen to Taimatrak, though I do have to say that I’ll be going as well for today. Sorry, Sis. Going on a rampage in a dungeon is always fun,” Neill said with a wide smile, just like every other day since she arrived.

As such, Taim and I were the only ones left in the cave. Just like always, once he was done pouring me a drink, he opened up his book and started reading. From the title, “On the Ancient Kingdoms of the Godless Era,” I could infer he was reading about Peolynca’s history again. The silence was so awkward, but the sound of him turning the paper pages, scratching them with his claws and scales, made for an excellent lullaby.

Except, today, I wanted to change things up. All that stress made me want to talk with him, even if he didn’t want to.

“Did you plan all of that?” I asked.

Without looking at me, Taim kept turning his page as he replied, “What exactly do you mean?”

“The whole timing with my stream and Kahalameet’s attack on Inferno Nest.”

“Yes.”

So blunt!

“W-well, is that all you have to say?”

“What else do you wish to know?” he said, still engrossed in his book. Was he asking me to give him a question that was worth answering, or was he telling me that I was being too obvious? “As I said, I would help out in all of this. I had asked you to send the holy dragons to our eldest, and that you did, pushing my plan forward. Bite when it’s hot, leave when it burns. It was the perfect time to solidify both Kahalmeet’s and Phsothophus’s position.”

“W-wait, you also planned the thing with Phso? About him gaining fame?”

He looked up, shaking his head. “Of course not. That would be future sight, not calculations. Every plan will have its variables that will benefit or detract from its success, and it is my role to assume possibilities and create contingencies if that were to happen. Still, some variables are just impossible to assume, like Phsothophus’s reputational rise. I had imagined Kahalameet not to escape the battle uninjured, but for it to lead to Phsothophus’s benefit? Somebody kept quiet and took a chance.”

“… You sound like you already suspect somebody.”

He closed his books. “Would you believe it if I said it was Phsothopus himself?”

Huh? Is he serious about this? No, wait, calm down. Mind’s foggy. Think.

“… No. He didn’t seem like a scheming person, at least, that was what I thought of him when I spent some time with him.”

Phso had a strict side to him, like an army general, but I also believed he was quite forthright with what he liked and disliked. Maybe he hid it well, but it honestly felt like he shared a lot in common with his mother, Gaistrus, unlike his younger brother, Ryra, at least when it came to personality. And to me, it seemed both valued balance and order more than the other empress-mothers and royal children.

“Good. Seems you’re thinking, instead of taking information and reacting to it. See? This is part of the wrath training, Hestia. Serenity. Calm in mind, and using it to deduce intent, lies, and information.” Taim tapped his head. “That is something that maniac, Nongramos, has apparently forgotten.”

Oi, don’t change the subject. I want to ask, but keep it up on track, right now! I glared at him, prompting him to clear his throat.

“The answer is simple: the dragon ruler of Quake Nest. If it hasn’t become clear enough, this entire democratic process has quickly revealed the greed behind many of them. Some hid it well, like Galiladrak, but others, like Maustoovaka, showed it with fiery hostility. Dragon Ruler of Earth, Razumblos, has taken facts and twisted them, and because he released the information first, falsity became fact and truth,” Taim answered, looking exasperated. “Empress-Mother Gaistrus has ordered him to support Kahalameet, as Brother Phsothophus, wanted, but the fool backstabbed his very own former dragon ruler!”

“Did he hide it that well? Galiladrak is obvious enough with how upfront he was by allying with Frozen Nest.”

“Maybe not. I am just the fool who allowed it to happen.”

“As you said, you’re not a fortune teller.”

“I know, but the basic mistake here is that I didn’t take advantage of your stream technology to its fullest. I also underestimated that an elder scale like Razumblos had somebody who was adept at understanding the limitless potential of your invention. I should have taken control of the information. Hmph, my bad habit showed itself.”

“I get reflecting on yourself, but you shouldn’t blame yourself that much, Bro. If Phso is still on board with helping Kahalameet, we can still fix the situation.”

“We will see. Which brings me to Nongramos. I already mentioned that he visited both Storm and Thunder Nest, right? He failed with Thunder, but, as you saw, the Dragon Ruler of Wind was persuaded.”

“Why am I not surprised that somebody would agree with him and go to war with the leviathans?”

“You’re too young to already act so jaded…” Taim complained, but seeing me shrug, he sighed.

He continued, “Wendriosa talked to him, but he rejected her plan. I don’t want to give you a biased view on things, especially with how your meeting with him ended. I managed to arrange a meeting with all of us siblings in this dungeon, so wait for that,” Taim informed me, leaving me slightly befuddled at what was going on. “Okay, that’s enough talking. Get some rest. You need your strength to talk with Plesia. The leader of the Origin Gods, and also the abyss of the sea—approaching such a being with a weakened mind will be suicidal.”

“And yet Father wants me to work as a divine translator despite knowing that?”

“Of course. After all, with Kargryx officially joining the Shakaie-Narn Alliance, we have to make sure that our fellow ally, Caedhul, will uphold their agreement, no? All the members have already departed back to their homes, including Fargryneill’s friend Rhea and Rita, so we have to do our part to uphold our part in the alliance, right? To ensure we can work together, we need to renew our trust in Caedhul, and the only way is to deal with this leviathan mess. Learn what you can from Plesia, Hestia. We need to understand why she even allowed three Event Quests to happen at once.”

That was the most important part. Yes, meeting Plesia probably would be scary, but this was also a chance to gain a lot of information from her, including her general opinion of me, an abnormality in the Divine System. I knew I had Aurena’s, and probably Crustacia and Zephira’s, support with how I have interacted with all three of them, but that didn’t mean Plesia would like me.

In fact, she should dislike me for the mere fact that I usurped her blessing from Master Kush. Into the unknown, in other words.

Listening to Taim scratching his paper, I quickly fell into a long slumber, only waking up during dinner time when everybody came from their hunt. Tasianna, having finished cooking the prey Father had brought back, quickly served my meal and we had a small family dinner again, before I got ready to meet the Abyssal Warden, Ashana Jhorrmugandr.

After a quick pep talk from everybody, including Father, reminding me to stay polite before Ashana and Plesia, I entered my subspace to find somebody already waiting there in the living room, sipping on some tea Svena had made. Seeing me, the latter bowed and quickly excused herself, earning her a thank you from both Ashana and me.

When I approached the tall levianewt woman, I noticed she had brought along a statue of Plesia’s religious symbol. However, unlike the ones I’ve seen elsewhere, mostly on Altrust, the statue didn’t only depict an amalgamation of tentacles joined together as if they were attached to a ball, but the swarm of tentacles on this one was directed upwards, almost like a kraken ready to drag anything it could grab into the drowning depths of the sea.

“Greetings, Princess Hestia. We meet again. I am glad to see you in good health, and willing to accept my selfish request. Please, allow me to properly learn what the Depth Goddess truly wishes from me.”