Chapter 203 - 200: Sleepless Zhou Lian

Chapter 203: Chapter 200: Sleepless Zhou Lian

Sighing, Zhou Lian pressed a hand to her forehead. She really had no idea what to do with Li Xiu. Unwilling to listen to his nonsense any longer, she said helplessly, "Jin Chen, I’m a little tired. Let’s go rest."

Li Xiu glanced at the alarm clock on the desk, then gently scooped Zhou Lian into his arms. "It is getting late," he said softly. "Let me carry you to bed."

Making no attempt to struggle, Zhou Lian quietly wrapped her arms around Li Xiu’s neck. She rested her head on his shoulder and gazed at the bright moon. A gentle breeze carried the sweet fragrance of flowers, and the lights in the east and west wings were already out. It seemed Sister Fang had put the children to bed. The serene night lifted Zhou Lian’s spirits, and she said softly to Li Xiu, "I’m going to take a bath first. Can you go pick some flowers for me? Get the ones with a strong fragrance."

Li Xiu carefully set Zhou Lian down and looked at her tenderly. "Alright, I’ll go to the garden and pick them for you." He would never refuse her anything, much less such a small request.

Having sent Li Xiu away, Zhou Lian sank into the bathtub he had just filled for her before he left. She gently closed her eyes. ’Tonight’s events happened so suddenly, and I’ve been running on instinct to get through it. I’m mentally exhausted. Li Xiu’s persistence makes me realize his stubbornness, spanning two lifetimes, is probably second to none. If I had turned on him tonight, there’s no telling what he might have done. It’s not that I’m afraid of anything else... I’m just truly afraid he would hurt himself!’

As she was about to twist her hair up, Li Xiu’s gentle voice came from behind her. "Bao’er, it’s late. Are you still going to wash your hair?" He softly gathered her hair with his hands, combing it through with his fingers and pinning it atop her head.

"No, I’ll wash it in the morning," Zhou Lian said softly, not turning around and allowing him to arrange her hair.

Li Xiu gently lifted Zhou Lian from the water, dried her tenderly, and dressed her in a light, breathable nightgown. Then, sweeping her up in a princess carry, he walked to the bedroom and placed her on the bed. "I picked lots of flowers for you. Take a look while I go take a quick shower."

Gazing at the vase on the dressing table, which was overflowing with fresh flowers, Zhou Lian slipped out of bed, put on her slippers, and walked over. There were lilies and roses. She looked closer—just those two types. Dozens of them were crammed into a large vase. ’So he only picked these two kinds, huh?’ Zhou Lian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She really had to hand it to this man.

Having finished his shower, a refreshed Li Xiu returned to the room and saw Zhou Lian standing before the dressing table, looking at the flowers he’d brought back. As if seeking credit, he gazed at her and said gently, "Do you like them, Bao’er? I made sure to pick the most vibrant blooms!"

"I love them. The flowers are beautiful."

He stepped forward and gently pulled Zhou Lian into his arms, letting out a contented sigh. After the emotional rollercoaster of the evening, Li Xiu felt he could finally, truly relax.

...

Zhou Lian sighed softly. She just couldn’t sleep. Her mind was filled with everything Li Xiu had done, in this life and the last. ’Thinking back on it,’ she mused, ’that slap... would you call it domestic abuse? It feels a little overly dramatic to even be thinking about it now. We both suffered for half a lifetime over it. But when our marriage reached that point, was Li Xiu at fault? Yes, he was. But me? Was I completely blameless?’

’There’s no point in figuring out who was right or wrong in our past life anymore. But what about this life? I know I like him, that I love him. But this affection, this love, it blossomed before I knew he was the same man from my past. Now that I know... now that I know he’s the same person in both lives, is this love still pure?’

Feeling lost, Zhou Lian gazed at the sleeping Li Xiu. In his sleep, he’d lost his daytime intensity and his uninhibited air. Gone, too, was the deep tenderness and the burning passion in his eyes when he looked at her. His sharp, chiseled features had softened, and his handsome face held a trace of innocence and gentleness—a look he never wore while awake. And yet, even in deep sleep, his hand under the light blanket hadn’t loosened its grip on her in the slightest. ’His possessiveness is really something else!’

A silent smile spread across Zhou Lian’s lovely features. ’I’m overthinking this. I fell in love with Jin Chen before I knew he was the man from my past life, but aren’t they the same person? Knowing his identity doesn’t really change anything. Li Xiu’s feelings for me aren’t going to lessen one bit. So what am I still agonizing over? Am I worried that my love for him won’t stand the test of time, or that his love for me won’t?’

’Hasn’t Li Xiu already proven it with his words and actions? He’s not the kind of man who would ever bother to lie about something like this. Just like when we first married, I understood that his stubbornness and obstinance were innate. It’s as if he’s focused all of that stubbornness on me across two lifetimes. In our past life, it’s not like he didn’t have opportunities to cheat. On the contrary, there were plenty. But even when our marriage existed in name only, he never once strayed.’

’Thinking about it, the memory of a certain smile from Li Xiu made her heart ache. Decades... how many decades does a person even get in one lifetime? And this man... I have no idea how he managed to persevere for so long. Even now, he can hold me and say that just having me in his arms is his greatest happiness.’

’I’ve never denied that I’m just an ordinary woman with no grand ambitions. My greatest wish has always been simple: to have well-behaved children and a husband who adores and cherishes me. Let’s not even talk about our past life—he was at fault, but I could be difficult too. In this life, however, Li Xiu truly treasures me, placing me on a pedestal. From the day we married, he’s spoiled me to the point where I don’t have to lift a finger. But he shouldn’t forget, I’m just a country woman who’s used to farm work. Seeing me with nothing to do, knowing I couldn’t stand being idle, he pushed me to take the university entrance exams. He pulled strings, used his connections... did he really think I didn’t know? How could a married woman with children, who’d never attended a proper school, get the right to take that exam so easily?’

’When I started university, Li Xiu dropped everything. He brought our child and came with me to the Capital City all by himself. To make sure I had nothing to worry about, he made several trips down south. To keep me safely under his wing, he carefully cultivated relationships with several powerful figures in the Imperial Palace. I’m not a fool. How could those men possibly shelter and protect us for so long based on nothing more than the lingering favor of his master? I know Li Xiu’s personality. In our last life, he hated politics. His master raised him to be the very picture of a free-spirited Wei Jin scholar. He was so severely repressed in that life; he spent the entire time feeling stifled.’

’In this life, he wanted to live freely and unrestrainedly, while still playing by the rules. But look at him now. Because of the incident with Wang Song’s mother, he has completely captured the attention of those powerful men in the Imperial Palace. He trained Ping’an, sorted out the Sun Family’s eldest grandson... all of this has forced him into situations he can no longer avoid. When you get right down to it, the root of it all is me. This love, this devotion... just how much resolve did it take for Li Xiu to do all this?’