Chapter 199 - 196: Li Xiu’s Hang-up

Chapter 199: Chapter 196: Li Xiu’s Hang-up

"Bao’er, Bao’er, don’t be scared. Please, don’t be scared. I won’t hurt you!" Li Xiu murmured incoherently, his voice hoarse. He was truly terrified. In his last life, a single slap had cost him half a lifetime. He wouldn’t hurt her. He wouldn’t. He knew he was wrong now. He really, truly knew he was wrong.

Feeling the warmth of his tears flowing from her hair onto her neck, Zhou Lian paused. Stroking Li Xiu’s back, she said softly, "I’m not scared, Jin Chen. I’m not. Jin Chen cares about me so much, he wouldn’t bear to hurt me, right? I’m not scared at all!"

"Right, right, right! I care about Bao’er so much, how could I ever bear to hurt my Bao’er!" Li Xiu said softly, his voice still hoarse, but his tears fell uncontrollably, like pearls from a broken string.

Zhou Lian gently closed her eyes. ’What could have set Li Xiu off like this? Why is he suddenly acting this way?’ She had seen him in this state once before, in their last life. She had been out shopping for her little grandson and was knocked over by a novice driver. Perhaps things hadn’t been explained clearly over the phone, because Li Xiu’s state when he rushed to the hospital was much like it was now. But their relationship had been at a freezing point back then, so she hadn’t paid it much mind. She only heard later from her daughter-in-law that Li Xiu had crouched in the hallway outside her hospital room, head in his hands, for five or six hours before their son and son-in-law finally managed to persuade him to leave.

"It’s okay, Jin Chen. I’m not scared. Tell me what’s wrong. What happened?" Zhou Lian asked gently, stroking Li Xiu’s back. ’This is the knot in Li Xiu’s heart. If it isn’t untied, he’ll never find peace. In her last life, Zhou Lian hadn’t cared. But not now. She couldn’t bear it.’

The soft body in his arms, the gentle strokes on his back, and Zhou Lian’s tender voice slowly brought Li Xiu back to his senses. He quietly wiped the tears from his face, and the usual spark returned to his eyes. With his Seven-orifice Exquisite Heart, Li Xiu naturally noticed Zhou Lian’s concern. His mind raced. ’I can’t let her suspect anything, but I can’t make her worry either. I’ll just have to show some vulnerability. It might not look good for a grown man to act weak, but in front of my own wife, that doesn’t matter at all!’

Kissing the top of Zhou Lian’s head, Li Xiu said in a hoarse voice, "Bao’er, did you know? This afternoon, I was so happy, it felt like I was in heaven. But just now, standing in the doorway and watching you under the light... you were so beautiful, yet so unattainable. I was terrified. I’m afraid you’ll leave me, afraid you’ll despise me, afraid you’ll be scared of me. I know I love you too much, and I’m afraid you’ll feel suffocated, afraid you’ll find it a burden. I don’t want to be like this, but I just can’t help it. If I can’t see you for even a moment, my heart starts to panic!"

He paused, then continued in his hoarse voice, "I don’t dare to be away from you for too long. I’m afraid I won’t be able to find you again. Bao’er, what should I do? I just can’t help it. Please don’t be scared of me, okay? I won’t, and I could never bear to, hurt you. Bao’er, I don’t want to be like this, it’s just... it’s just..."

"It’s just that you can’t control yourself, right?" Zhou Lian interrupted, asking gently.

"Yeah... Bao’er, don’t be scared of me. I just..."

"I’m not scared, Jin Chen. Don’t you think this is perfectly normal? Why would I be scared? You care about me, you love me, you wish you could watch me every single moment. Isn’t that normal? And why would you think I’d be scared?" Zhou Lian asked gently.

’Of course it wasn’t normal. Even in the more open-minded era of later generations, couples in the honeymoon phase might want to be together every day, but that was just a phase. Things would cool down after that. She and Li Xiu had been married for seven or eight years, and he was still like this—it definitely wasn’t normal. Besides, she’d already seen the stubbornness in his bones in their last life, and in this one, it had only gotten worse. Then there was that touch of madness in his nature. Does he even know it’s there? But could I really tell him any of this?’

"Bao’er, really? You really think so?" A crazed glint flashed in Li Xiu’s eyes as he asked happily.

Zhou Lian said firmly, "But it’s true. It’s just that people have to work to live, so of course it’s impossible to be stuck together every single day. You care about me so much; shouldn’t I be happy about that? A man who treasures me like a priceless gem... that’s something most women dream of. Why would I be afraid of you?"

Gently turning Li Xiu’s head, Zhou Lian looked into his eyes and said, both gently and firmly, "Jin Chen, you’re just too worried about me, that’s why you’re so insecure. Don’t you trust me? The reason I was able to come to the Capital City for university was because you care for me and trust me, wasn’t it? Besides, I’m not an idiot. Why would I leave a man who cherishes me, loves me, pampers me, and holds me in the very core of his heart?"

"Is that really what you think, Bao’er?" Li Xiu asked softly, uncertain.

Zhou Lian looked into his eyes and said, "It’s the truth. Your affection for me isn’t some kind of pathological possessiveness. Jin Chen, let me ask you, would you restrict me from making friends?"

"Probably not. Making friends is normal. But some people aren’t worth being friends with. I might interfere then," Li Xiu said, a little unsure. On this matter, Li Xiu wouldn’t lie to her; he really would interfere sometimes.

"That’s normal. We’re husband and wife, after all. A person is bound to be careless or misjudge people sometimes. You care so much about me, so isn’t it normal for you to stop me from associating with those kinds of people? Besides, if a man watches his wife hang out with bad company and doesn’t try to stop or advise her, Jin Chen, do you think that man cares about his wife or not?" Zhou Lian knew what he was thinking, so she brought up the most common and normal example.

"That means he doesn’t care. If you care about someone, why wouldn’t you protect them?" Li Xiu despised people like that, regardless of whether they were men or women.

"Exactly. Jin Chen, would you forbid me from going out?"

"Of course not!..."

"Then would you hit me?"

"How could I? Bao’er, you..."

Hearing Li Xiu’s agitated voice, the corners of Zhou Lian’s lips curved up slightly as she said softly, "Then do you believe that I’m not the type of woman to be unfaithful?"

"Of course I believe you!"

"Then there you have it. A man who cherishes me, pampers me, and protects me—why would I leave him? Why would I let him go? I’m not a fool." Zhou Lian said softly, looking into Li Xiu’s eyes. Seeing the excited light dancing in them, she continued, "Jin Chen, I’ll only say this once. As long as you don’t mess around with other women, don’t hit me or curse me, and stay just as you are now, I will never leave you, not even in death. You have to remember this: I, Zhou Lian, love you, Li Jincheng."

Ecstasy surged in Li Xiu’s eyes. He hugged Zhou Lian tightly. The fear and unease that had been churning in his heart completely vanished with her words. ’This is wonderful. Bao’er has always disdained lying. If she said it, she would absolutely do it. This is perfect. She had expressed affection before, but this time, she had said she would "never leave, not even in death." This is amazing. Truly amazing!’