6 Times a Day

On his way to Glory’s history class, Christine told Alan that she wanted to speak to him at the start of lunch. So, to Glory’s deep disappointment, once all the other students left at the end of class, he spoke to her very briefly and indicated to her that he had to go, but he promised to return as soon as he could.

Alan was even more disappointed than Glory: the lack of any morning relief at home had him dying to get his rocks off. Keeping to his six-times-a-day schedule was tough enough, but his sex-free morning had made it a lot tougher. To wait until he got home from school before cumming was likely to drive him up the wall.

Christine was waiting for him outside the classroom door, after which she walked him toward the cafeteria.

As soon as they started walking, Christine looked at him with concern. “I’ve got bad news. People are talking.”

He looked at the busy hallway. “Hmmm. This is true. My God, for a blonde insight, that is staggeringly perceptive. They also appear to be standing and breathing.”

Christine showed no reaction to his attempted joke. She appeared lost in thought. “Hmmm. I wonder… Should I kill you now, or wait till later? If I kill you now, there will be too many witnesses. Still, I’m awfully tempted.”

He laughed. “I suggest you kill me later, or else you won’t be able to get any answers from me. In the meantime, what do you mean exactly?”

“I’m saying people are talking ABOUT you. There are all kinds of rumors swirling around.”

He was genuinely surprised. “Me? Why me? I’m a nobody. I’m not a part of this school’s kiss-ass power games at all.”

She looked around constantly as they walked, trying to make sure that no one was listening. “Even so, there are rumors that you’ve gotten extremely close to some of the cheerleaders lately. There are even rumors that something is happening between you and Heather.”

He was secretly disturbed to hear that, but he did a good job of acting surprised and incredulous. “Heather?! Are you kidding me? I’ve heard nothing but bad things about her. Why would I want to hang out with her?”

“You’ve got me. I think she’s the biggest… Well, I’m not going to say bad things about people behind their backs. But I’m glad to hear there’s no truth to those rumors.”

He didn’t want to confess anything to Christine, but he knew he had to bend his rules somewhat because she’d undoubtedly find out more soon. “Well, I wouldn’t go that far. I mean, I am hanging out with some of the cheerleaders. After all, Katherine is my sister and Amy is like family. Now that they’re both on the squad, I’m getting to know some of the others through them.”

“Sure, sure. But these rumors are about sexual hijinks. For instance, there are also rumors that there’s something going on between you and Kim.”

He tried to sound clueless without actually lying. “Really? Kim? Isn’t she openly lesbian?”

Christine stopped walking and put her hands on her hips. “Alan! Don’t you remember last Wednesday, when Kim came up to you in the cafeteria entrance and practically humped you on the spot?”

He was forced to stop too. “Humped me? Come on. She just came up to me and said ‘Hi.’ What’s wrong with that?”

“She was flirting with you, big time! I was there; I saw it.”

“Okay, maybe she was. So perhaps she’s somewhat bisexual instead of completely lesbian. But whatever happens between her and me, that’s none of your business. You’re too curious! Do you remember when we talked on Thursday and you promised not to pry into who I might be dating?”

Her face went from determined to frustrated and apologetic. “I know. But dammit, I can’t help myself!” She stamped her foot in frustration, which inadvertently set her huge rack jiggling, despite her minimizer bra.

Thanks to the jiggling, he drifted into fantasy. In a daydream vision, he pictured Christine naked and on top of him, riding him cowgirl style. Her heavy globes bounced wildly, just as he saw them bouncing in real life in front of him. They bounced so much as she repeatedly rode his cock that she had to hold them against her chest with both hands.

Oh man! he thought. So awesome! I can’t even imagine how good it would be to have sex with her. It’s not just her movie-star looks. She’s so friggin’ athletic. She’d be able to go all night long! And even though she’s the supposed “Ice Queen,” it’s easy to see that she’s got incredible passion boiling just below the surface. Oh God! I’m getting a serious boner. If sex wi-

His thoughts were cut off when Christine snapped her fingers in front of him. “Hello? Are you still there?”

“Um, yeah.” He tried to wipe the silly look off his face and refocus on their conversation.

She would have asked why he’d unexpectedly spaced out, but it had happened to her so many times that she’d gotten used to it. Instead, she tried to press on. “Look, we’re friends, right? How can I not be curious about that? If we were both girls, or maybe both guys, you’d tell me all about it.”

“Maybe, maybe not. What if I keep your brain occupied with lots of great blonde jokes?”

She gave him a frustrated but amused look.

“In fact, I’ve got a good one for you right now. What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown?”

Christine just rolled her eyes, not wanting to encourage him.

“Artificial intelligence.”

She sighed. “That doesn’t even make sense! Besides, I’ve got a joke for you. Why are dumb-blonde jokes so short?”

Before he answered, he thought, Dang. I’ve got a hard-on again. I swear, I can’t talk to Christine for three minutes before she gives me a boner. Even with all the sexual satisfaction I’ve been enjoying lately, that hasn’t changed one bit. Distracted, he simply asked, “Why?”

“So brunettes can remember them.”

“Touché. But did you hear about the postcard a blonde sent while on vacation? It read: ‘I’m having a fantastic time. Where am I?'”

Christine couldn’t help but grin a little bit at that one, although she quickly suppressed it. That was one reason why he loved telling her blonde jokes, because he found it cute and amusing how she’d find them funny despite herself. She put her hands on her hips again and gave him another determined look. “Alan Plummer, I do believe you’re trying to change the subject.”

“Hmmm. Guilty as charged.” He resumed walking towards the cafeteria, causing her to keep up. “Hmmm… What can I say?” He pondered the issue some more, taking into account how she tended to figure things out sooner or later, whether he wanted her to or not. “I told you last time that I’ve started dating, real dating, and I’m kinda making up for lost time. I also told you that I’m not dating any one girl exclusively, at least not yet. Maybe there’s some truth that I’m involved with some of the girls from the cheerleading squad.”

“‘SOME?!’ Alaaaaan!”

He held his hands up in a “why me” pose. “What? Is that a crime? Use your common sense to sort out the likely truth from the ridiculous rumors. I’m not going to kiss and tell, nor name names, so that’s the best you’ll get from me. Why is it such a crime to date more than one girl at a time? Lots of people do it.”

Christine slumped in defeat. “I know. It’s just, well… I don’t like it when people say all kinds of bad things about you.” That was hardly the real reason, and she knew it. But she couldn’t admit to his face that she didn’t want him to date anyone else so he’d be free to date her.

He asked, “Can’t you do something about that? You know me. Shoot down the more ridiculous rumors.”

“I can do that.”

“By the way, what are these crazy rumors about Heather and me? That should be good for a laugh or two.”

Christine had to turn away in embarrassment, since she had immediately recalled the rumor that Heather was interested in Alan because he had an extremely large penis. She fumbled lamely, “Oh, you know…”

“No, I don’t. I don’t pay attention to school gossip at all.” He was glad that his erection was finally subsiding.

“Well, uh, I mean… Just that she’d have anything to do with you at all sexually. I mean, a girl as beautiful as her, and you…”

He stopped. “Christine, what are you saying? It sounds like you’re saying I’m not good enough for her. So what if she’s really beautiful? Are you saying a beautiful girl wouldn’t be interested in a ‘lowly nerd’ like me? I wish I could tell you who I’m dating, so you could rethink that. Heather is not a nice person. If anything, she should be lucky to date someone as nice as me! I’m insulted!”

Christine was mortified at her faux pas. “I didn’t mean that! I totally didn’t mean that! I don’t know why I said ‘beautiful’. I was thinking of her being so snobby and refusing to even talk to anyone she didn’t consider socially important. Except to put them down, of course. I’m sorry!”

He stared at her hard, but then his mood softened. “That’s okay. I understood what you meant. I’m not upset with you so much as… well, I don’t want to be part of the ‘cool crowd,’ but at the same time it hurts to know that people generally think of me as such a social nobody.”

They were right at the door to the cafeteria. He looked at it and said, “You know what? I don’t really want to go in there. I’m not feeling hungry anymore. I’ll see you later.” He started to walk off.

“Wait!”

He stopped.

“You’re not mad at me? Really?”

He turned around. “Really. We’re still going on our practice date this weekend, aren’t we?”

“Definitely! But are you sure?”

He reconsidered, and then admitted, “Well, maybe a tiny bit peeved, but then you probably feel that way every time I tell you a dumb-blonde joke.” He grinned.

She smiled with relief. “Nah. To be honest, you make me laugh, and I like that. I’m just frustrated that there isn’t a tradition of dumb-brunette jokes for me to draw on so I can fight fire with fire.”

He suggested. “Start your own then. Take a blonde joke and just change it to a brunette one. I don’t know why you didn’t think of that already. Oh, wait.” He looked up at her blonde hair significantly, as if that explained things.

“Bastard!” But she laughed at his implication. “Okay, fine, I will. Why did the brunette guy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?”

“Oh, so it’s dumb blonde gals against dumb brunette guys? I like it. You’re on!”

She smiled widely, but also gave him a fierce look. “Yeah! It’s ON! And answer the question already, buster.”

“Hmmm. I don’t know.”

She looked significantly at his hair, in the exact same disdainful way he’d looked at hers. “Figures. Anyway, it’s because he didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills.” 𝐞𝗻𝐨𝘃𝗹.𝐜𝐨𝗺

He chuckled. “Good one. Now, I’m really gonna go. I don’t wanna deal with that whole cafeteria scene today, where each clique has its own table and all that crap. It’s depressing. Why can’t people just be… I dunno… normal?”

“Are you sure? I could come with you.”

“Nah. But thanks. I’m good.” He walked away.

She decided not to push it, since she figured he was still a little miffed at her from her faux pas, and that was probably a big part of why he wanted to be alone.

She turned around and went into the cafeteria. Good job, Christine. You really stepped in it, big time. By implying that he’s not good enough for a beautiful girl, he’s gonna think I believe that he’s not good enough for me, since everyone says I’m beautiful. He already thinks that, because I turned him down. But nothing could be further from the truth! Dammit! If it weren’t for the fact that he’s already dating other girls, almost certainly including Amy and Kim, I’d be tempted to tell him he should ask me out again, for real!

I’m such a friggin’ idiot! And the fact is, I’m too chicken to ask HIM out. Why do I suck so bad when it comes to romance?! Am I doomed to always be unhappy?