Chapter 1: Senior Sister Is Beautiful But Nags A Lot

I have always believed that the greatest mistake a cultivator can make is working too hard.

In my previous life on Earth, I worked seventy hours a week staring at spreadsheets until my heart gave out at the ripe old age of twenty-eight.

When I reincarnated into the world of immortals with all my memories intact, I swore by the Heavenly Dao that I would achieve immortality purely so I could lie flat for eternity.

And for a while, my plan worked. Through relentless grinding, stubborn patience, and an almost miraculous knack for avoiding ancient ruins, I managed to crawl my way into the Core Formation realm.

I even snagged the title of Peak Master of Lonely Cloud Peak within the Mystic Cloud Sect.

The problem? I had hit the absolute, brick-hard ceiling of my mediocre talent.

For three whole years, my Golden Core hadn’t grown a millimeter. My spirit roots were hopelessly average, my cultivation technique was standard issue, and my desolate mountain peak had fewer living souls on it than a mortal graveyard.

Naturally, I did what any sensible, burnt-out immortal would do: I brewed expensive spirit tea, swung gently on my woven bamboo recliner, and spent my mornings watching the white clouds drift over the jagged mountain ridges.

Peace and pure tranquility.

Or at least, it was peaceful until a hurricane of Nascent Soul spiritual pressure slammed into my courtyard, blowing away my teapot lid and scattering my prized spirit bamboo leaves into the wind.

"Lu Chen! You lazy, shameless scoundrel! Get your useless rear off that chair this instant!"

A voice like tinkling ice and rolling thunder tore through the courtyard.

I didn’t even need to open both eyes to know who it was. The scent of frost blossoms arrived first, followed closely by the rustle of luxurious, sect-master-grade azure silk.

Standing at the entrance of my pavilion was Su Wan’er.

She was my Sect Master, my senior sister, and unquestionably the most stunning woman within ten thousand miles of the Heavenly Cloud Mountain Range.

She had legs that went on for days, a waist so slender it looked like it could snap, and an imposing, jade-carved face framed by cascading midnight-black hair. Right now, her pale cheeks were flushed with fury, and her phoenix eyes were practically shooting daggers at my forehead.

I took a slow, languid sip of my lukewarm tea and offered her my most dashing smile. "Good morning, Senior Sister. Your cultivation seems to have progressed again. Your voice is so full of energy, it nearly shattered my porcelain cups."

"Do not ’Senior Sister’ me!" Wan’er stormed forward, her sandalwood boots clicking sharply against the stone floor.

She stopped right in front of my chair, planting her hands on her hips and looming over me. The sheer altitude of her posture gave me a rather spectacular, unobstructed view of her embroidered collarbones.

Naturally, being an upright cultivator of the righteous path, I appreciated the scenery thoroughly.

"Do you have any idea what day it is?" she demanded, completely oblivious to my shameless gaze. "It is the Biennial Disciple Selection Trial! The entire sect is assembled at the Grand Cloud Plaza! All eight other Peak Masters are already seated, ready to recruit the finest mortal seedlings, and where are you? Lounging in the dirt like a hibernating toad."

"Senior Sister, words hurt," I sighed, clutching my chest with feigned agony. "I am not lounging. I am meditating on the impermanence of the Dao. The clouds teach us that striving is vanity, and stillness is—"

"The clouds are going to teach you how to fly without a sword if you don’t shut your mouth!" Wan’er snapped, though the corner of her lips twitched slightly.

She pinched the bridge of her nose and let out an exhausted sigh. "Lu Chen, I am serious. The Sect Elders’ Council held a meeting at dawn. Peak Master Zhao from Sword Peak and Elder Wu from Alchemy Peak are leading a petition against you."

I raised an eyebrow. "Those two old fossils? What are they crying about now?"

"Your peak!" she hissed, leaning closer until I could feel her sweet, warm breath against my skin.

"Lonely Cloud Peak has an unbroken second-grade spirit vein running right beneath its soil! Yet for ten whole years, you haven’t recruited a single disciple! Not an inner disciple, not an outer disciple, not even a servant to sweep the courtyards! The Council is pressuring me to dissolve your peak and divide its spirit vein between Sword Peak and Alchemy Peak. I’ve shielded you for years, Lu Chen, but my hands are tied. If you don’t take in at least one disciple today, I won’t be able to stop them!"

I looked at her distressed expression. Beneath all that nagging and bluster, I knew Wan’er genuinely cared about me. We had entered the outer sect together as scrawny kids decades ago.

She had heaven-defying talent and shot straight into the Nascent Soul realm, while I had to claw tooth and nail just to reach Core Formation. She protected me because of our shared past, but as Sect Master, she had to maintain order.

Still, losing my peak was out of the question. Where else was I going to sleep until noon without some annoying old man lecturing me about sect duty?

I set my teacup down on the small stone table, stretched my limbs lazily, and stood up. I was a good head taller than her, and as I stepped closer, her sharp glare wavered for a split second. A faint, almost imperceptible dusting of pink brushed across her porcelain ears.

"Fine, fine," I said with a heavy, dramatic sigh. "Since my dear Senior Sister is begging me so pitifully, I suppose this humble Junior Brother must step into the muddy mortal waters."

"I am not begging you, you thick-skinned brat!" she muttered, crossing her arms defensively. "I am ordering you."

"An order from the Sect Master requires motivation,’ I replied smoothly, leaning down slightly until my face was merely inches from hers. I tapped my own cheek with an index finger and grinned wickedly. "If you want me to work under this scorching sun, Senior Sister, you have to pay the toll. Give me a little kiss right here, and I’ll sprint all the way to the plaza."