Forging America: My Campaign Manager is Roosevelt

My name is Leo Wallace, a PhD candidate in history, burdened with $137,542.89 in student debt.

At the darkest moment of my life, I lost my job—because I tr*shed a tech giant called “Omni” online, and they promptly “optimized” me out of existence.

I thought my life’s script was doomed to be Rickshaw Boy, until an illegal intruder appeared in my head.

He said his name was Franklin D. Roosevelt—yes, the one printed on the dime.

“Kid, stop ranting online. It’s useless.”

“You want to take them on? I’ll teach you how.”

“Our first step is to become a mayor.”

And so I—a keyboard warrior who couldn’t even find a job—set out on a surreal road to running for president under his guidance.

Wait, Mr. President… are you sure this “Second Bill of Rights” of ours isn’t actually going to turn the United States into the Soviet Union?